For any nonzero real number n:

DMT * 0 = 0 (sad day)
DMT * n = DMT
DMT / 0 = #DIV/0
DMT / n = DMT
1 / DMT = sensory deprivation float tank
DMT / DMT = DMT
DMTⁿ = DMT
DMT⁰ = DMT
DMT^DMT = DMT
√DMT = DMT
DMT * i(n) = binaural beats
Dₓ(DMT) = DMT
∫DMT = DMT
sin(DMT) = carrier wave
cos(DMT) = 5-MeO-DMT
tan(DMT) = psilocin
log(DMT) = DMT
std(DMT) = DMT
DMT! = When someone at a festival offers you a vape

Some special cases:

DMT + π = DMT, with a guaranteed stomachache
DMT * Avogadro's number = DMT, albeit a very low yield
DMT * 42 = DMT, but that's especially redundant
DMT * 47 = DMT, but, what does God need with a starship??
DMT + 69 = DMT (nice)
DMT + 420 = DMT, a lackluster combination
DMT * 2001 = DMT, full of stars
DMT / 9906753 = DMT (we have top men working on it)
DMT + 1.21*10^9 = DMT, doing the time warp again
DMT +, -, *, or / ∞ = DMT, silly

The proof behind the theorem:

Hanc marginis exiguitas non caperet. Just smoalk some DMT, then you'll understand!