What a good day.

[[I use strong-ish language, so please don't be offended]]

So, one day a friend and I decided to partake of a rather high dose of some very fine needlepoint. We set our day for it, had a general idea of where we wanted to go, and off we went in the due time.

We failed to prepare ourselves, but I suppose there was no real way to prepare for such a thing. So, let's get at the thing, and I'll explain to you the day that will never truly end.

This was back in mid-2018, and me and buddy had only known eachother for a relatively short while. We had a few trips together, and as tends to happen a kinship was formed between us, and we knew we each were good company for a deep dive into these things we call entheogens. So we decided to go to the lake nearby, take his rowboat out and find a good spot to set up a lil chill-spot and ride out the day. We each took roughly 1300 to 1400mcg (the cuts were fat, so I estimated a little more than what it was laid for) when we got to the water's edge and were ready to load up, because it would absolutely suck to get wet with it in our pockets. This was shortly after sunrise, about 7:15am.

We row away, a short ways down the coast, and find an ok spot. Soon as we pulled the boat up we look at eachother and say "we should set up quick, cus it's already gettin a lil weird ha." So, we string up the hammock, set up the chairs, and I needed to poop so I found a tree not far off and hooked up some toilet paper and did that. Shortly after, I felt sick, and after careful consideration told my friend I wasn't feeling very good. "Grin. Force yourself to grin, it'll help I promise." It did! I grinned like an idiot, and almost immediately my stomach calmed down. I spoke no more of my momentary sickness, because by this time the experience was surely upon us, didn't want any weird vibes of concern where they weren't needed.

Let me say now that, prior to this day, I didn't have a firm grasp on how quickly needlepoint kicks in. I knew it was much quicker, but holy hell, by the time I was grinning my belly-ache away I was already feeling that strange sensation of balloon-blowing-up/rollercoaster climbing/etc that tells me I'm about to have a good time. Maybe a half hour had gone by since the drop, and I was already impressed.
We sat down on the million-year-old shale that made up the beach, and the visuals began to ramp up. The rocks under me appeared to have an oily sheen over them, bubbly and sparkling with every hue known to me. We sat there playing with it for a while, grown silent, and I picked up a little piece and tossed it at him. I watched the piece of shale make its arc towards him, skip back, and go a little further in the arc, skip back, etc, until it finally hit him. I laughed, and turned away thinking "oh my god I hope he's not mad at me".
It was a hilarious moment in retrospect, because we took off so quickly that we were well into a very heavy trip already. I thought later on "if I didn't have experience with heavy doses, and didn't know him well, I would've been freaking out the whole time worried that this strange man was gonna kill me on this suddenly strange beach because i threw a friggen pebble at him" But I digress.. I could tell he was radiating a feeling of "that was great" too, so I rode with that feeling that my throwing a pebble wasn't a wrench in the gears, and got up to move about.

As I took the short walk over to the hammock, everything melted into fractal geometries. The leaves bloomed to fill the sky, that bloomed to fill the lake, that spilled into everything. I made it into the hammock somehow, and laid in looking up. Every small movement gave me the feeling of being a lightning bolt, just CRA-CLA-CLRRAKing away at the slightest breeze. There is what I call an "oh shit moment" in most heavy trips I've had where you realize you have no choice but to ride it out: several, countless numbers of these moments flew by me. I wasn't sure if I was laughing externally, but internally I was enraptured by the sheer fact that my senses could not discern one from the other and I was falling into this fractaled realization of the nature of being. Closing my eyes was no different than keeping them open; I was simply engulfed in this showing of life through a different vision. First time I ever wondered if I just pissed myself with 100% certainty I wouldnt be able to tell if I did.
I thought for a moment I was going to die, and that was fine despite all my regrets and grudges. It only seemed natural to die, at any given time, then (and ever since).
Well, who knows how long I laid there, because I don't have a clue. I finally got up after the first wave was subsiding a bit, and saw buddy sitting in a chair over by the firepit (this firepit was there when we arrived). I gave him a questioning thumbs-up (you all good?), and he gave me one back (yea man, im good). So I moseyed over to him, and stood there looking at the lake a bit. After a while I tried talking, and what a challenge that was. I said "well, that was intense" and he was visibly veeery relieved like "oh thank GOD dude, i thought I was over here fuckin trippin balls alone" like no brother, that was heavy. I said "well, I think that was the peak man, we should be about halfway through". he agreed. I pulled my phone out "aww shiiit mannn, its not even 830 yet!" and we proceeded to express our amazement and realization that this was going to be an extremely long day via telepathy. And so the second wave was coming, we could see it coming, and he asked what music to play. "Tesseract, any song, doesn't matter". For those who don't know, their album Altered State is MADE for this substance.
We spent a while just listening to music, thinking the thoughts one has when boundaries are completely gone in a personality, absorbing the scenery that was now just pulsating in non-linear fashion, and yet somehow seamless. We had set up camp right across from this little island that had just a mess of squawking birds living on it. No bushes, just a couple dead trees and birds. All the way across the lake was the park that bordered a dam, and despite my perfect vision I saw no soul over there. This view is etched into my memory, the visuals at this point were reminiscent of a painting you'd find in a Florida hotel, all was a pinkish hue and chunky-smooth texture, very soothing and calm. Everything still was spiraling out of itself, but self-contained now, which was in its own right just as mindblowing as the boundless immersion at the beginning of this day. The birds, though, were loud and obnoxious.
I vibed with Tesseract for a while at the beachline, then wandered back to the firepit (thumbs ups were shared again, as talking was out of the question). I glanced up at the sun, and saw a biig ol raincloud juuust starting to cover it up, and looked away towards our stuff thinking, man if it rains were gonna have to pack up, we cant have a boat full of rain. I look back up, and that same raincloud is juuust starting to cover up the sun. So I thought, ok, well time's broken right now, so maybe not. I went back to surveying my surroundings, letting the understanding of 'it is what it is' seep into the very deepest parts of my traumas, and was again at peace in this unneededly-alien space I put myself in. I glanced at the sun a few times over the course of a few eternities and that same raincloud was juuust starting to cover it up. This was beyond funny to me, but unnerving at the same time.
After a while, we were able to talk again between waves (be it waves of the acid, or waves on the beach, there was little difference at this point). He commented on the sheer beauty of the day, our energies rose a bit, and I couldn't help it, saying "YEA, I dont mean to like, STRESS you out or anything, but that fuckin CLOUD -" points at cloud juuuust starti-- "- hasn't moved in for EVER, and I keep wondering if its gonna RAAAIN or WHAT" He found that extremely relieving, having noticed that same fucking thing for apparent eternities too. We laughed about that for a good while, like yo fuck that cloud. "LIKE FKN RAIN, OR DONT, I DONT CARE"
I want to say this was the first time we considered taking the boat out on the water. We thought about it several times, and every time we mentioned the idea and looked at the boat, the wind kicked up and started rocking that mf like crazy and it seemed a sign telling us it was Not a good idea. So, we decided not to.

We got lost back in our minds as another wave crashed in, and sat back in the shale where we started. At one point buddy says "you got a good connect, man" and something about that statement was so sinister to me idk why. Everything around me started growing points and was encroaching on me, my thoughts turned twisted and something akin to the pig-people episode of Twilight Zone came to mind like I was going to come back from this trip and something really obvious was going to be different about people and I was the only one that seemed to notice it. I got over it, though haha. I thought a lot about the girl I loved and lost, then. I've never forgiven myself for how that chapter of my life ended, the fact that it ended at all. I'd like to say this trip helped me to deal with that issue, but it did not. It was a bittersweet feeling of "this is what letting go *could* feel like". I had a little restlessness in my legs for a moment, and it didn't help my thoughts at the time. The body load was extremely minimal considering the amount we took, so I wasn't bothered by this little bout of leg troubles. It was just bad timing for the thoughts I was having. Carrying the load mentally was portrayed in my legs physically etc.
After the legs calmed down, I noticed the birds sounded very strange. Got to focusing on them, and they began sounding very digital. This was so interesting, the idea of simulation was evident in the fact I was breaking down their sound into segments of a sound wave. Very clippy, very fabricated. It wasn't long after this I heard the Sound.

The Sound of the Universe, whether it is the gears working behind the veil, some harmonics of celestial bodies, or my ability to hear my own blood flowing through my ears; whatever it is, I'll never forget it. It is like a huge jet turbine, looming nearby, that you never hear coming and never hear leaving. It doesn't come and go, it's stationary, somewhere near you. I searched the skies for a helicopter, a plane.. the lake for a boat, the road to the dam for semi's. There were semis yes, but this sound was steady, louder than a semi could be, and its orientation wasn't moving anywhere. I mentioned it to buddy, or he mentioned it to me, but we both noticed it at the same time, and couldn't find a cause for it. I've tripped in downtown jacksonville before, and figured out this pulsating hum I was hearing there was semis crossing the nearby bridge. This, though, I had no explanation apparent by physical phenomenon. We both seemed a little shook by it, because it is very ominous to hear such a thing on a beach, far into the grips of a hallucinogen, not far at all from people who might wonder why two guys are stressing over a sound nobody else can hear. By necessity, we didn't let it throw us too off, and went back to doing our own inward thing.

I at some point found myself laying down on the beach, not sure how long again I was down there, but my god did it ever feel so good to lay on a rocky ass beach. The understanding that the ground I laid on had been there for millenia was not lost on me. When I sat back up, the primal feeling of belonging to the world was never stronger than in that moment, the visuals of a nature indescribable in their sheer simplicity. It was all right there to be taken in, always. Somehow we forget this juicy truth, so simply disguised by worries of our own making.

I noticed shortly after, what I call, "the watermark". I had made my way up to buddy again (thumbs ups exchanged) and sat down in the chair provided. This design became apparent in and of everything, rooting its way into and out from everything around me. It wasn't severely detailed, but the intricacy of it was incredible. Like overlapping sine waves, everything grew and shrunk in unison along these lines. Everything. I first noticed it in the trees on a mountain far off on the horizon; then, in the sky, following the lines into the firmament; then I looked down, saw it continued flawlessly into the lake, into every wave, every bird that moved slowly through the air, through the ground. This was all well and fine, then I noticed it in my pants. I grabbed the fabric with my hand, and saw that it slowly engulfed my hand, and realized it was Everywhere Indeed.
Initially, I thought this some fundamental pattern in the fabric of physical matter, but this thing seems to be different with every crystal. It is quite literally a watermark in my opinion: somehow, a signature of the chemist is left in the molecule, and you experience it when a certain threshold is met. I've seen others describe this "watermark" under different terms, and it always looks different if the source is different, but from the same crystal it is reliably the SAME image.

Anyways, at the time this was a very fulfilling experience for me, verifying some continuity in a very unknown experience and realizing I was wrapped into it and healthy nonetheless. It couldn't help but radiate a sense of wellbeing from that fact alone.

Well, after yet another failed attempt to take the boat out (queue wind and rocking boat sign), we soon decided it was a fine time to go for a walk.
Now, I always knew time was subjective. I can recall the day in 2nd grade when I realized that time was subject to change its passing by way of our perceptions. I've never had objective evidence of time dilation, travel, etc. Even the cloud that never moved was still subjective to me, despite having a witness with me...
We decided on a walk. Having the ability to see my phone's display somewhat through the LEDs in it, I noted the time was now 2:58. I start walking, buddys behind me, and I hear the music behind me so I turn to see if hes bringing the speaker. He wasn't, and he started laughing because he knew why I looked back and had assumed that I had the speaker with me. Nope, the sound was just following us. So we kept going. We took our sweet time, meandering down the beach, climbing some of the rocks strewn about, I personally felt like a rogue drip of paint cruising through some wonder of the world. I had a cookie that I took a bite out of, and eating was not in the books for me then. So i was carrying the cookie on my phone, and thought of my mom telling me not to do that. Something about that thought was hilarious to me; seeing my mom in this trippy ass world I'm barely hanging on to, chastising me over a cookie. "no cookies on your phone!" *finger wagging, hand on hip* looool
Well we get to this alcove a ways down, and we stand there talking about how much better of a spot it is. There's more shade, a smoother beach, a better view, no fucking birds. Just all around better. We stood there and talked for a good while. He tried again to explain to me how instant transmission works (from DBZ) and still couldnt find the words hah. We begin walking back, again taking a good long time about it, climbing on rocks, I threw this big one in the lake and literally watched it sink to the bottom of the lake with perfect clarity. Interesting.
We get back to our spot, I check the time. I just hold the phone out to him and say "No."
It was 3:00 on the dot. Somehow, that walk, that conversation, the walk back, the throwing the rocks, all that was within 2 minutes of time. Not possible, sorry. We tried our best to rationalize it for another "minute," but there was no making sense of that with conventional physics man. At a regular pace that was a 5 minute walk there, 5 minutes back, and we're on a lot of acid, so you know that walk took us at least 15 minutes low-balling the figure, not counting the long conversation we had at all. So, we experienced a warp in time with objective evidence.

We had brought some weed, so we decided to smoke a bit. I was tasked to pack it, and that took me a long time, mesmerized as I was by all the trichomes and diamond-laced dots spilling into view as i broke this little dime-sized bud open. I had to tell him to bare with me, and he understood entirely. We finally get it packed, and being the gentleman I am, I passed it for him to start. We talked about a lot of things in this sitting, handing the bowl back and forth to break the pace of our words up. After a few more eternities, I looked down and realize we haven't hit this bowl a single time. So I decided to start it finally haha, and it was a very satisfying taste. I don't quite smoke at all nowadays, and my tapering away from weed started late 2017, so I didn't need a lot of it to get stoned. So I just took a baby hit, then another baby hit, and I was high enough.

We get quiet again, the onset of a wave starting again. I could see the effects coming over the mountains like a quick rolling fog, magnifying these spots in the trees like looking through raindrops on a windowpane. The watermark effect was still prominent, and only grew it seemed after noticing it. Even between peak moments it was there. All other visuals somehow fit into the framework of this effect. I then heard the beginnings of a song from the speaker, and I swear to God I thought it was Pink Floyd I was just hearing wrong. It was this song -


I worked my way back to the edge of the water, realizing about a minute into this song that it was still Tesseract playing. As the song built up, I watched multiple gridworks rise out of the water in technicolor glory, mapping out the topography with perfect accuracy, luminescently opaque inbetween the sight and the knowledge of what I was seeing. 3:12 in the song, I start moving my body to the rhythm the only way a body can move to communicate pure satisfaction and appreciation. Which is, fuckin weird ok? Well, I wave my arms into the gridwork, and it ripples, the wind I made making waves, forcing consideration from the birds and fish and everything else. After laughing about the visual acknowledgement of this truth, I went still to fully appreciate how my simply being was paramount to the world turning as it did, and understanding that through concerted efforts, one can truly change the world on all levels. "I DO disappear, and I AM left here. You're RIGHT, Tesseract!"

After that song was done, thumbs ups were exchanged and I made my way back up yet again to our spot. I tried explaining this revelation that, like so many revelations, seemed obvious once exposed. As I stared out at the lake that was now just a very beautiful scene, no grids, I saw this shining spot like a diamond in the sun. Then another, then scattered everywhere in the water. A rainbow grew from somewhere beneath and almost immediately everything was literal bands of colored light, perceptible by shape of color alone, and I was overwhelmed by a feeling of freedom. I just turned to buddy and said "awww hell man, everythings rainbows and diamonds baby! Goddamn you couldnt shove a care down my THROAT with a fuckin STICK right now. I feel like the sassyest gay man right now and I'm not even GAY" (no offense meant, I was just straight diva-ing out on that beach. I mean, rainbows and diamonds guys, cmon).

After a while more of talking, we're both at the beach line, and talking about getting ready to leave despite still trippin pretty hard. It was getting late. As we turn to go back up to our stuff we see these 3 people coming down through the woods towards us. I watched them walk right past my poop-tree, look at my poop, and laugh. The terrible embarrassment I felt in this moment is impossible to describe, so I'll save you another paragraph by not even trying. They come down we say hello, and they are 3 strange people indeed. This seems to always happen when I'm in public on cid, I notice or meet very very odd people and I know they are unusual despite their faces being stolen by the wind etc. We smoke a little weed with them, then let them know we're just packin up. The oldest of them had an issue with his throat, he talked like Boomhauer from king of the hill unless he held his throat. It was bizarre at the time, like I wasn't sure if I was hearing him right at all until he held his throat lmao. We didn't tell them we were tripping, fuck that, they didn't seem to be the types to know any of the intricacies of such an experience, and their sudden arrival had us on edge for obvious reasons. Like thank god we weren't sprawled out in the rocks watching neutrinos rip past every atom when they came through those woods. We packed up and left. They all 3 seemed so familiar, and to this day don't know who they were and have never seen them again despite this being a small town.

Rowing back to the truck, serenity. The sun was getting low, I kept getting this feeling that the horizon was a tangible line much closer than it was, and at any moment some shaman-esque figure was going to open a door there and greet us into the brotherhood of love. We made it back to the truck, took what felt like forever to tie the boat down, and got in. Buddy said he should be ok to drive, kinda had to be cus the marina we were parked at was gonna close soon. He said he grabbed the steering wheel and it seemed like it just gave way to pressure and crossed his arms when he tried to hold it.
**********I do not recommend anyone try driving, this far gone on acid*********
*************It is doable, but hella sketchy and obviously dangerous***********

So we start driving off, I tried to continually reassure him he was doing good but kept getting distracted. "You're doing good buddy, youre on the road...(jesus christ the sun behind that tree, why is that a vision I'll never forget, and how do I know that?)... uhhh youre between the lines, i think thats a good thing bro youre doin great"
we get to a stop sign at the bottom of a hill, and stop. BANG. We both turn around like wtf just smashed into the truck. Both of us were absolutely shocked that we forgot the boat was back there. Had to just sit there a minute and laugh about that. The radio was on classic rock, and as he was starting to drive again saying out loud "i need to keep it straight man" he looked over as I mimiced a dive-bomb note. I wish I could remember what song it was, but that fkn note killed me, and he looked just in time to see me doin some goofy shit, so we had to sit another minute. He drove pretty good but he was very animated and we were laughing the whole drive. We get to this spot in town where there's almost always a cop, and people run stop signs like crazy. So coming to it, I'm like "ok man, you gotta get it together, just for this little stretch. you're doing good but yknow" he was like yea i know man, took a big breath, exhaled, and

I have never seen anyone drive more casually in my entire life. And I died laughing at it. People pulled up at every stop sign (there's like 4 of them) and it just felt like we were on parade and everyone showed up to watch the two guys with heads full of acid drive by. Soon as we cleared that stretch, he went back to his very animated driving. I was like broooo you nailed that, good job being normal.

We get back to his place, and we tripped for the rest of the day, and the afterglow lasted well into the next day. Very good day. Much was learned, much fun was had.

I will never forget beach day, though I'm sure I've forgotten to mention some things, despite the ridiculously long report. Just remember to choose your company well if you ever decide to take a big dose. It makes all the difference. Me and beach day buddy are forever tied to eachother from that day alone. Much love, nexus