Hello all, I first would like to thank all of you guys for having such a vast and supportive community for people like me who are interested in partaking on journeys through DMT. A couple months ago I decided to try DMT. With the help of extraction teks that I found on this site, I had a fun and successful extraction from MRHB. I then dabbled with different vaporization teks till I found one that worked well with me. I had a handful of light, but still amazing trips as I was discovering the best methods of smoking. Everyone talks of the geometric patterns you are to see, but nothing could have prepared me to see just how amazing they were.
By the time I had found the optimal smoking tek for what I had available, I decided it was time to take the plunge and go for a breakthrough. I spent the day cleaning my room, listening to my favorite music, and mentally preparing myself for what I may find on the other side. As evening hit, I decided I was ready. The scale I had was no good, so I can't say for sure how much a loaded into my pipe. Maybe that was my first mistake? I got comfy in my bed and started taking in the molecule, following all the advice I had heard from sources such as this site. On my fourth or fifth hit, right as my coil was starting to dry out, I felt myself going deep into the trip, fractal patterns were engulfing me. Before I knew it, I was passed out in my bed and alien voices were surrounding me. "Wewo Weh Wrowe", strange oscillating voices were talking. Most people talk of the colorful worlds that they see on a breakthrough. For me it was just darkness. But with that being said, on other substances, such as shrooms, I have never had too many outstanding visuals. My friends would take the same dose as I and would talk of flowers, animals, and the occasional entity, but I would simply get trails, distortions, and swirls in the objects around me. I may had not seen any visuals at this part of my DMT trip, but I sure as heck felt these aliens. They didn't seem too upset with me, but I still felt so out of place. Was I amazed, yes. Was I curious, yes. Was I terrified, definitely. All the research, mental preparation, and low dose trips could not have prepared me for this what so ever.
Just about as quickly as it came on, I had returned back to my body. I took a couple deep breaths. I felt my hand gripping my lighter. It was clammy. I sat up and looked down at it. To my surprise my body was an alien body. I had three large grey fingers and a skinny long arm. I looked around my room and with shock I found that everything was black and white. Not like an old movie though. My walls and floor were sterile white, while anything darker such as decorations or furniture were completely black, void of any texture or details. I had never seen such intense visuals in my whole life. Just as I was taking in and trying to process everything that was going on, my roommate's TV in the next room over started blaring hospital sounds, the beeps of a heart monitor, and the voice of a woman cry "wake up, wake up". This is likely where I hit a big mistake, I shouldn't have taken anything with my roommate around. Part of me knew that the sounds were simply from the TV that she had just turned on, but the more suggestible part of me was convinced that I was about to die and I was in the hospital. I started panicking. "I took too much" I kept telling myself. I became convinced that I would stay like this forever. Thankfully the trip was starting to ease off at this point. I was able to calm down and ground myself. As the effects continued to diminish I began to feel the sense of awe that I was more familiar with when it came to DMT. I became giddy looking at the light visuals that were left over "everything, just everything" I told myself in wonder (I really don't know what I meant by that but just e v e y t h i n g ammiright
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That whole experience was really just too much for me. Considering it lasted no more than about 10 min, it really wasn't
too bad though. I have continued to be curious with DMT since then, but have resorted to smoking much lower doses, just enough to maintain a comfortable high with light visuals. But that brings me to my next thing. I was lounging around and decided to smoke a few tokes just to have a nice little time. I hit the pipe. No effect? So I hit it a few more times. Still no effect?! So I hit it again, and whooosh. I felt myself leaving my body. I don't necessarily know why, but I suppose because of my rough 1st break through, the thought of going through it again terrified me. I fought to stay conscious. I started having a full blown anxiety attack. My heart was beating so hard and fast that I felt it resonating through my whole body. My ego was panicking, I was sure I was going to die. I realized the absurdity of the whole situation and was able to breathe, relax, calm myself down, and ground myself. Since that day, I have not touched DMT. I've been finishing up schooling, and have been worried about finding jobs, and I don't think the stress from such things is good when I am on DMT. I believe that taking it at such a high stress time was part of what evoked such negative and frantic feelings.
With all of that being said, I absolutely do want to break through. I want to see what DMT has to offer. I want to see these other dimensions and I want to explore the furthest boundaries of my brain and of myself. So here I am. I want to hear the criticisms, thoughts, and advise of others. I understand that DMT is a powerful tool, but I want to conquer my fear of it. Perhaps I have to wait until there is more clarity in my life. What do you think of my experiences? Has anyone had similar trips? Has anyone gotten over a fear similar to mine that can offer some advise? Have at it guys, I am so eager to learn and understand. Sorry for such a long post, but I hope you enjoyed hearing my experience and I will be thankful for any input that you have after reading it. Cheers