3-15-2016
00:00 21mg harmalas
02:00 Blue Lotus Tea (10x extract)
02:30 50mg MHRB Freebase DMT vaporized in a GVG
03:00 Nearing baseline with heavy afterglow
This was my third attempt with the new GVG, first two I wrote about here
https://www.dmt-nexus.me...aspx?g=posts&t=69870 and after some sound advice I prepped for round three a 13 days later
Pre-flight anxiety, life anxiety present but manageable. I asked my wife if I could work in the bedroom with her there sleeping nearby. She said OK that I probably won't wake her. We had an issue to work through earlier around sex and intimacy earlier that night. We both said things we needed to say and heard each others words, and I had to own my feelings instead of putting them on her. Uncomfortable and hard as it was I feel we do this kind of work well even if we fight at some point. We both have intense professional lives and the kids take nearly all we have left sometimes and we make an effort not to lose sight of each other. I felt raw but postive.
I tried to bail but the stage was set with my preload of harmalas and lotus and i felt the portal was open, the day was ended and nothing left to focus on but this. I sat in lotus in a small recliner, meditated to get my exited heart rate down. Long slow breaths. Exhaling deeply first and then began to heat the GVG. I took the dose in one smooth hit. I was breaking through as I held it in. I remember feeling tense and frantic, blood pressure rising with adrenaline as reality breaks apart. Finally I hit a point where I was able to relax. I was touching the rim of the pipe. It was hot. No I am not being burned by a malicious entity. The communication of heat seemed external. The messenger from my nervous system, part of me but not me? I stopped fighting for control, relaxed and went deep into a meditative flow observing this tentacled being, like a starfish or coral, really detailed beauty. I love how the harmalas help the flow, give it a unique character. I love it was more than spice alone and I think this tea transformed the two into a euphoric bliss. I was listening to hyperspace communications, their language, a repeated word i wish could recall. Felt like things that live inside me, part of my makeup, interdependent. The subjects of the world I am to them. Felt probing on my skin, poking my sternum.
Opening my eyes the room is swimming in transparent weblike patterns that look like sea creatures in another dimension. My bed a flowing coral reef. This goes on for some time in a gentle breathing flow. I am blissing out on this more than usual. I begin to get a chill so move to the bed and spoon my wife. I feel a lot of gratitude and a new perspective on my own issues, seeing deep inside to the first time I saw her ever. Epic and stunning.
Marijuana, LSD, psilocybin, and DMT they all changed the way I see
But love's the only thing that ever saved my life - Sturgill Simpson "Turtles all the Way Down"
Why am I here?