Hello friends I wanted to share two profound dreams I have had in the past. Would love to hear others experiences with these kinds of dreams, blessings.
At 12 years old my youngest brother was in the womb, there was only a 30% chance he would survive and if he did a 90% chance he would have some severe impairment. My parents were (and I) very worried, one night I had a very strange dream, there was a white nothingness all around me and I was without body. A voice told me 'the baby will be okay', and I woke up clearly remembering the dream, which hardly ever happens to me. I told my mother in the morning and during the rest of the pregnancy I was a calming presence for my mum. My brother lived through child birth and is extremely healthy to this day.
The second happened more recently, and was around two years after my other brother killed himself, I have slightly edited a email I wrote to my dad straight after the event. For the purpose of understanding the significance of the dream I will explain a couple of things. My brother went through a serious battle with mental illness, he was schizoaffective and had severe BPD. As he progressed through high school he became increasingly strange at home, I was young and was ignorant of what was really happening to him. As a result of this we fought often and hardly talked in the couple of years before his first hospital admission and diagnosis. I had never properly forgiven myself for my actions, nor reconciled them with my brother while he was still alive.
Email
I had a strange dream last night, I was at your house and
name removed was laying on the old 2 seater, he was younger, about fifteen but I was my age. I just jumped on top of him and held him tight (the whole time I was aware I was dreaming). I told him, 'since high school we didn't connect. I am really sorry. I always wanted us to get along better.' He just hugged me and I cried alot. I woke up in our old bedroom because someone touched my head, where you and mum sleep now. Then I woke up again and was here in Tokyo and knew somebody really had rubbed my head, and that it wasn't
name removed as she was on the other side of the bed. Suddenly I was back in my old bedroom and you (my father) walked in, I asked if you touched my head and you said, no, you didn't. I then started to cry in real life. That part is confusing but I was conscious that I was in Tokyo but still dreaming and in the dream. I then knew that
name removed was present but I couldn't see him or anything. I was still dreaming but aware that it was a dream. I just kept saying 'i'm sorry' and crying out loud, this happened for a couple of minutes, then I heard
name removed's voice say 'its okay, don't worry'. I properly awoke and continued to cry for a bit.
“Among other things, you'll find that you're not the first person who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behavior. You're by no means alone on that score, you'll be excited and stimulated to know. Many, many men have been just as troubled morally and spiritually as you are right now. Happily, some of them kept records of their troubles. You'll learn from them—if you want to. Just as someday, if you have something to offer, someone will learn something from you. It's a beautiful reciprocal arrangement. And it isn't education. It's history. It's poetry.” J.D. Salinger.