I’m not sure what it was, but last night I had my first clear and vivid breakthrough experience. Usually after experiencing a breakthrough I am completely lost for words to describe what I have just experienced. I always have vague recollections of the things that happened but it is never with any detail or clarity, it’s always muggy like a dream when you wake up. The more I think back, the more I can connect things together.
Last night was different and I have no idea why. I was alone, I loaded my usual 50mg dose into the vaporizer. I let it heat up, took one big lung full….. held it for 5 or so seconds, exhaled slowly. I instantly started to feel that ‘disconnect’, I took the second lung full. The TV started to seem more distant, my arms went wobbly, I took the third lung full and quickly turned the vaporizer off; it’s automatically engrained in my brain to turn the vape off straight after the third hit.
With my lungs still full I flopped backwards onto my bed, I don’t recall breathing out.
The colours came on strong, swirling patterns of such incredible intricacy and beauty along with flashing lights (as though the TV is on and you have your eyes closed) adding and removing to the contrast of the imagery. The colours came inward, I recall the immense pressure that I felt in my sinuses and the colours swept towards me rapidly and seemed to be gathered by my sinuses, as though my sinuses were a vacuum. As the final colours came into me, they instantly burst in what can only be described as a ‘big bang’ and all the colours, shapes and geometery were scattered as far as I could comprehend.
This is what I wrote last night whilst it was still fresh in my mind:
Quote:Suddenly I'm in some kind of spirit world operating theatre. Entities that I can only describe as being floating clouds were all around me, they were formless in the sense that they had no mass, but I could detect some VAST intellect from them. I was the subject, they had gathered around and waited for my arrival. None of what follows was verbal, nothing was spoken, but it was all communicated to me in a way that I do not understand (telepathy?). The lead entity studied me, I felt him probing my mind, he then turned his attention to the rest of the entities, of which I now understood were students. He conveyed his delight that I had arrived, but then proceeded to address his class and started to explain that I had a meatwagon in another dimension and it was said dimension that was the subject of their studies. He then proceeded to tell his students about humanity, that we are evolved mammalian creatures that have somehow managed to reach a level of intelligence that allowed us brief journeys into THE realm that they and many other types of entites lived.... or existed in. They didn't live, they weren't born, they'll never die, they just are.
They continued their lecture, the teaching entity started to explain the planet that we (humans) live on, then proceeded to show what an absolute monstrosity the human race was. They discussed our primitive knowledge of physics and how our first real breakthroughs on subjects like this were the atom bomb, killing millions of people in the process. The whole thing suddenly became some kind of slide show of all the horrible, nasty things that the human race has accomplished, fast, flashing imagery right in my face, getting faster and faster and faster until it was just a blur of these horrid and monsterous pictures. The images became smaller, started to slow down.... they got smaller and smaller as though the picture was being taken away from my face and slowly being pulled out of sight. And then there I was, back in my own house. Asking myself about this world and the motives of our race.
It was quite possibly the most intense, introspective and touching experience with DMT that I've ever had.
I felt the immediate urge to go back in, I felt as though they would still be waiting for me, wanting to examine our race further. But I've learnt that 'chasing the dragon' never works, I left it at that to try and come to some kind of conclusion over what I had just experienced.
Edit: Oh, sometimes after a trip I cry at the beauty of what I have just experienced. Last night I didn't cry, I wept. Meh.
Incredible.