Exactly a week after my total melting(as described in my previous trip report) I had two very unpleasant, bad experiences. And I am not talking about bad trips like the ones I have read about where you see and experience evil entities and darkness, more like being trapped between two different dimensions or a distortion of dimensions.

Although I still had spice I started another extraction. Initially I though I had failed, as I did not see the crystals in the freezer forming like before. So I poured the solvent back to the jar, added more lye to do another pull the next day.
When my evaporation jar dried I realized a hard milky even layer. So I scraped it up and ended up with a surprisingly big pile. The material had the same color, just not the snowflake like crystals that I had before. The same or similar smell and bitter taste.

So I wanted to take another journey, and as soon as I had some free time, I prepared my room, music and gvg. It took me quite a while before I could smoke, because I was feeling a good amount of anxiety and my heart was beating pretty hard.I vaporized 50mg, I noticed it tasted harsher than my previous material. I passed out immediately, without all the colorful patterns forming that I had seen in the past before entering hyperspace. Like twice before, I ended up in a void, did not hear music and upon waking up felt slightly depressed and disappointed. The same thought pattern that I had on all previous trips was there, but in the most annoying way. I blamed this on not getting enough because of my heart beating and being out of breath from anxiety and not breaking through.
So I refilled my gvg with 50mg and tried again.

Again it tasted harsher than with my previous material. Some colorfull patterns started forming and I almost started feeling happiness, but then, my vision shifted. Like if you are trying to look out of a window, but you have a window frame in front of your eye. Like my whole virtual image was distorted. Like I would have to turn my head in order to see the full picture. But of course I could not turn my head, as all these images where behind closed eyes. At the same time it felt like the eye that was partially blocked got blinded by direct sunlight, very bright and I got the feeling like ohhh, this is not good and I should not do this, but obviously it was too late.
I partially broke through for a few seconds maybe into another void, I am not really sure. When I started regaining consciousness, all I could see were some scattered melting rainbow colors, no geometrical patterns, no flowing energy filled hyperspace, no feeling of anything greater being with me, and me not beefing part of it. Really uncomfortable all together.

Again, slight depression, disappointment and a fake mechanical smile came to my face. Similar feeling to when you find something not funny, but you tighten your muscles to smile. Like I was trying to convince myself that I had a good experience by forcing a smile on my face and being happy about what I just encountered.

These two experiences where nothing like what I encountered on my 18 trials before, they seemed different, both in what I saw and how it made me feel during and after the trip. If I had had these experiences at the very beginning, I probably would have never touched this substance again.

I am still trying to make sense of what happened, but am not satisfied with my speculations.

Do you guys think this is DMT related, and I just had a bad trip because I was rushing it and was not in the right mind set? I was not as relaxed as I was before, kinda in a hurry and like I mentioned, had the worst preflight anxiety yet.

Or could this be due to some other psychoactive substance present in my extraction. But then, that could only be NMT and from what I've read that should be a rather pleasant experience.

Anyway, I'v vaped 3 times since then from the remainder of my first extraction, much more pleasant but nothing as powerful as any of the experiences before these two bad trips.....

Thank you for this interesting report. I am surprised you have not yet gotten any response. Being a member for three days I can only just now write in this section. But I read this earlier.

By the way, you are a member with ‘only’ nine posts? Well done!

In response to your post, I would say it is mostly if not all due to the mindset.

I read you previous experience report of the string of experiences you had before this. Then after reading this current report and seeing that you were essentially not gaining any ground on the experience (void; minimal activity), I think it's a personal sign to take a step back, reevaluate usage, take a break, take care of your everyday life a bit, then go back at it.

Sometimes the experience will close up shop for a period of time. This can happen once, twice back to back, or it could happen to be multiple experiences end on end. Not sure why this happens exactly; noone really knows. It's happened to others here. That's why I would advise to take care of your everyday life a bit, if anything - do some things in your life that you enjoy, things that bring a smile to your face. Take a few weeks off then go back.

Alot of time these breaks can do you a world of good. They have for many here, including myself.


** With that said, if you're really set on wanting to push the envelope (which many of us here have), keep at it, stay persistent. The only cautionary note i'll add to this is that if you choose to throw caution to the wind and stay persistent with smoking, eventually you could be biting off more than you can chew (many here have). Not saying that this will happen, but typically with any sort of persistence it's bound to happen.

** Also, those dosages are massive. Most here have gotten to the point to where only 25mg or so is needed for a very powerful experience. But also, physiology can play a role im sure for some (as is many other unperceived factors). Maybe these higher dosages are needed for some? Im not really sure. But anyhow, (and i usually don't condone this) you could always smoalk moar

** Not sure how long you're holding the hits and how deeply your pulling them into the lungs. When I vape/smoke, I pull nice and slow, taking as big of a toke as humanly possible, pulling it deep deep into the lungs (as deep as you physically can).

**Taking a little harmala freebase sublingually before vaping can greatly intensify susceptibility to the initial "getting enough as is needed to break through". Even taking a little bit of rue tea before, like .5g worth of rue tea can have a nice potentiation on the initial window when it first starts ramping up.

Tank You Tattvamasi for your detailed reply and analysis of my experience.

First of all I am a little surprised about your comment of not gaining ground. Yes, prior to this I ended up in a void a couple times and I failed to properly vaporize a couple times, but all in all the experiences have been pretty powerful, and I have been breaking through to places where nothing I knew from earth existed including my body or ego. And I have seen a lot of positive impact in my life.

About the dosage, yes at this point I need 50mg to go where I want to be. I think I vaporize well with my gvg and, in a lot of cases don't remember exhaling because I hold it in until I pass out. I experienced this in my first and only aya ceremony, while most people where puking and tripping I was laying there frustrated and waiting.... Only after the 3rd round( and none of the first timers even took the 2nd serving) I really took of and drowned in love and happiness, but no visuals whatsoever. The same happened to me on San Pedro. The comment was made "I guess you are one of those who just needs a little more" and I have ran into that in many other situations in life.. Something I have to work on u guess.


Now back to the report above. I took a couple weeks off to think about it and came to these two conclusion:

- after 20 experience I thought I know what to expect and how it is with expectation, the more you expect the more disappointed you will be

- I did something slightly egoistic prior to it and paid for it.

So my mind was in the wrong place. Two weeks later I tried again with the same spice after it had been recrystallized, the harsh taste was gone and my experiences kept getting stronger and better.

Now back to your comment about the sign to take a step back...

A couple weeks ago, The sign was there, I ignored it. The sign got stronger, I ignored it. Increased the dose.... And I was taught the lesson to step back and evaluate my life.

After close to 60mg perfectly vaporized I layed down, thinking hmmm takes a little long for me to pass out ... And then boom, I hit a wall, bounced back, entry denied.

I don't remember what was going through my body ... Body load, heart beat, hyperventilation, I don't know...

But I thought that's it, game over... I am going to die. I over did it, why couldn't I be happy with what I had, why did I have to do more. This last time was too much, I should not have pushed it.

I never experienced the fear of dying, but this time I was scared to death... I was convinced I just killed myself...

When I finally regained consciousness and my senses were back to normal, I was lying in bed, speechless for 10-20 min. Not the usual euphoria and happiness.

But, I was happy. I felt very appreciative to be alive, I was very calm. Seldom in my life I have felt such calmness and pure appreciation of life.....

This was almost two months ago ...