This is the story of my most powerful DMT trip. This happened almost 2 years ago at this point and I feel like I am still integrating all the insights of this trip.
I had gone down to Peru to experience Ayahuasca and had 6 ceremonies with vine heavy brew with few visuals. I felt physically clean but I needed major spiritual and physical healing.
The main reason I went down to Peru was because of a short but damaging Ketamine addiction I experienced a few years before this journey that left my bladder scarred, shrunken, and hardened. Detailed Half-way down this page...
Ketamine thread TLDR: Don't do Ketamine
I had eaten right, not done any Ketamine, worked with LSD/mushrooms/DMT myself and had gotten some healing, but, I needed something major. My bladder still had a small capacity and I was still stretching it out and holding my piss in as long as possible to stretch the tissue. Having to piss every 5-20 minutes is not fun. Neither is trying to ignore your bladder as it stretches to a larger capacity. It was really depressing me and keeping me from enjoying my body and life.
After the 6 vine heavy ceremonies I asked Westerners living in Peru where the more powerful medicines where. They directed me to a 62 year old mestizo shaman who made a STRONG BREW with lots of bark-less vine [cleaner in the intestines], bobinsana, chacruna and chaliponga. AND a homeopathic dose of datura.
He was assisted by a Welsh world traveler/self-proclaimed shaman who was in his 30's. The combo of this brew and both of these VERY different powerful souls working on one's self was powerful. The old Peruvian man sang powerful icaros, the welsh gentleman cleared energy with mapacho and helped people navigate the room. I even drank 2 cups my first ceremony and got some tough love, a really strong trip 3-4 hours of breakthrough, lots of really deep purging [toxins?] and LOTS of healing. My 2nd ceremony with this group was relaxing and purge-less [the shaman said I was so clean from the 2 cups 3 days prior]. It really showed me some gentle love and communicated that if I stayed on the path I would be healed.
The Welsh shaman had been giving DMT ceremonies to people in the house I was staying at all week and my girlfriend had done one with him and gotten an overwhelming, yet, positive [tears of joy] Godhead experience. She urged me to do one with him before we left Iquitos. I was apprehensive but said I would do it the morning after my last Aya ceremony.
The shaman himself was cheeky/trickster-like, very British and charming, while also having extensive knowledge of plant medicines. He was shaved bald and had tribal and chemical symbol tats along with piercing in his ears and under his soul patch. He looked intimidating and funny at the same time especially when he smiled. He told me his DMT was 35% 5-meo DMT and the other 65% was NN-DMT equal parts Chacruna/Chaliponga. He assured me this combination would be NN-DMT in character and that the 5-meo would fuel the NN to new heights. I conversed with him about my bladder damage and Ketamine addiction and he said the smoked DMT ceremony would help ALOT and that he would take special attention to this healing during the experience. He said he does not smoke with the patient but rather smokes them up and sits by their body singing/humming icaros and using techniques he learned in his over 3500 breakthroughs to move energy around.
After my last Aya ceremony I woke up peacefully in the cabin on a hill in the Amazon knowing that something psychically intense was looming in my horizon. The Welsh shaman said he would be ready for me shortly and just had to prepare his pipe.
I walked upstairs and he performed a limpieza over me with Holy Basil bunches and singing bowl. He asked if I was ready and I said yeah. Then I saw him pull out the smoking setup....
It was a medium sized glass cannabis pipe with a spiral shape [like a spring] coming down from the bowl to the mouthpiece. This is when I started to really get the fear. This pipe's bowl was clear and I could see there was more than half a gram of DMT packed in there.[This was an estimation but I had made my own DMT for 2 years at this point and knew what it looked like]
I asked how much was in it and he laughed and said don't worry, "Enough." He said I should try for 3 good hits. At this point I was in emergency mode and didn't think I could go through with the experience. But I resolved to try this man's experience and his exotic DMT, atleast a little bit.
He put the pipe to my mouth and a torch lighter to the bowl and said, "GO MATE, GO MATE, GO GO!" [full cheeky welsh accent] I took a hit and immediately felt effects. The next two were very small hits and I let them out almost immediately hoping not enough DMT got in my system to rip me from this reality.
Fractals and beauty began to appear but they were SOOOOOO much more intricate, colorful, and intense,dense than my mimosa NN only DMT I had been smoking/extracting for a few years. I watched the beauty unfold from a place of light ego-death where I still knew I was me, in a cabin the Amazon, smoking with this guy, and it would be over soon. I watched the visions fade within 3-4 minutes and began to breath deeply as the room reassembled around me. I had made it, I signed up to get annihilated and got away with a light show. I felt satisfied and safe, yet a bit sad that I had missed something.
I looked up to my guide and he met me eye to eye and gave me a head-cock and strange look. He said, "You're back too quick mate, you gotta TAKE MORE!" I contemplated protesting or running
but a deeper more ancient part of me said, "Dive In".
I took four more MONSTER hits and held them in a long time. I don't remember letting the smoke out. There are really no words for this trip. Other than my first time smoking DMT which was also, [albeit much lighter] an overdose, this completely blew away any other trip I had.
A monkey-man trying to describe his vision of GOD:
I went into Hyperspace and brought too much mental energy with me trying to categorize the experience. My pair of guides that I had seen deeeeeep in any breakthrough I experienced [but never remembered permanently till this experience] immediately began defusing my intellect with absurdity. Things changing into things changing into things....Woooooop switch, morph, switch, transform, flip around, etc. Until my intellect gave up, let-go, and fell into cosmic laughter. [The Shaman said my body laughed alot in the beginning] This is when the trip really picked up. This cleansing of the intellect, by entities using absurdity, has been repeated in many of my deep trips.
Letting go let me into hyperspace in this new powerful Chacruna/Chaliponga 5-meo-DMT vehicle that was light years ahead of my mimosa DMT at home. Multi-dimensional is a word that comes to mind along with all-encompassing 360 degree experience. I was taught some deep truths and shown parts of my higher-self in hyperspace. It seemed like many places that were hidden from me in earlier trips with mimosa were now open. I did feel like chacruna/chaliponga, and their longer history of human use than mimosa, was giving me easier access to hyperspace because these plants were more "well worn" path of travel to these places. The connection with higher soul and self was incredible. It showed me that the Ketamine addiction and recovery would force me to become who I was always supposed to be. The piece of infinity they showed me was so all encompassing I felt like I was getting absorbed into it. Then I began to get "dunked" into finite realities.
Thats really the best word I can say. But I experienced countless FULL EXPERIENTIAL lives on different planets, physics, biology, cultures, times. I would get completely immersed in these lives, living them as if that is who I always was. But in each lifetime I would get sent back to hyperspace in a myriad of ways. In a few of them I made it to the end and died. In a few of the lifetimes I actually even did a drug/plant of some kind and returned to hyperspace. One lifetime I remember images of: a post-apocalyptic, desert-like, earth-like world. I was a hunter/gatherer focused on surviving in this harsh reality. One day I saw a small monk in white robes with a cart [looked like a mexican ice cream cart] with a bell on it approach on the road. He says nothing but urges me to look in his cart's opening. When I looked in I remembered/got pulled into hyperspace and left that life behind to return to it.
Some of them were so alien and weird they are impossible to explain how I was drawn back into hyperspace from the finite realms.
Each time I went back to hyperspace I reconnected with my higher-self and learned more in the infinite Hyperspatial realm. Sometimes it felt like entities urged me into a finite experience, sometimes my higher-self just knew what it needed to experience next, sometimes the Welsh Shaman, my guide appeared in Hyperspace and threw me like a boomarang into REALLY deep water.
He never sent me into anything I didn't need. I heard his throat-singing Icaros throwing away entities and just changing the whole trip. No matter how many lifetimes I spent in finite existences, forgetting about Hyperspace, I always made it back to hyperspace. Hyperspace communicated that it was imminent in human history and would unite with us soon. Then the strangest limited lifetime came upon me, my own.
I saw my last hyperspace image on the wall of the cabin [Millions of Peacock feathers where the eye shapes where actual blinking eyes.] Then saw the cabin window give way to the jungle beyond and hyperspace retreated to a subtle breathing of everything and energetic feelings pervading. I hugged my guide and thanked him and walked downstairs to the porch. I looked out into a valley in the Amazon as the DMT faded and realized I'd be integrating this trip for multiple lifetimes. I also realized my bladder felt ALOT better.
The healing from this trip was intense. My bladder, which was causing me to consider suicide, became a minor annoyance that gets better and better with time. Psychic/emotional/mental I have felt more positive change and growth since this trip than ever before.
I don't know if I could ever smoke that much DMT [especially mixed with 5-meo] again. But, I am really happy and glad I did.
Sometimes I think this Hyperspace resting period >finite life> back to hyperspace. IS what is always going on for souls in existence. Reincarnation has become very much more REAL for me after this experience.
With healing,
"The risk makes the reward."
I felt like this was an initiation of sorts and all my medicine journeys and even sober experiences have been changed for the better.
Questions comments, welcome.
In the province of the mind what one believes to be true, either is true or becomes true within certain limits. These limits are to be found experimentally and experientially. When so found these limits turn out to be further beliefs to be transcended. In the province of the mind there are no limits. However, in the province of the body there are definite limits not to be transcended.-J.C. Lilly
The Spice must flow
Zat was Zen and dis is Dao.