Hi all, hope you're doing well.
I posted over a year ago of my first experience with DMT. I was innocent and curious at the time and thought I had broken through on my third attempt. Like many I guess, I was wrong. I have tripped on DMT about 30 times since then and it wasn't until a few nights ago that the truth was finally revealed to me. In the most beautifully humbling way.
I was at home alone. It was around 9pm and I decided to have a 'light trip' before bed.
I'm in my mid 30s. Mindset was good, happy and uninhibited. I had taken 200mg of ibuprofen about an hour before the trip for a mild headache but was otherwise in good health. I had a few drinks the previous night but didn't get drunk, and had eaten burritos around two hours before.
I had half a gram of changa in my bowl, with a little weed and tobacco. (50% changa, 25% weed, 25% tobacco.) in hindsight, I think it may have been this 'dilution' of the changa that held me back from break through in the past.
I packed a nice tight cone and slowly let it burn and sink. It hurt like hell but I managed to hold it. I quickly packed another and waited until my throat cooled down, then smoked it. It was as smooth as silk. I would normally stop at this point but that smooth hit got me in the mood for another. So I steadied myself and packed another. Again, smooth as silk. Instead of laying back in my chair like usual I crossed my arms on my knees and lowered my forehead onto them to keep my balance. The writhing geometry light show was fantastic as always. I enjoyed it for a couple of minutes, and felt (not decided) that I should have another. So I slowly sat up and packed another cone. This one rocked me. I still hadn't broken the veil but I hadn't been this far in before either. It was very intense. The geometry was positively glowing, when usually it would seem like ghostly translucent images. I put my head back in my lap and rode it for a few minutes. It was just bliss. The distant high pitched hum in my ears was breaking up a little, it sounded like a very fast morse code transmission. It was here that a strange feeling took hold. I had a realisation, or a feeling that I was hovering just above something very important, or was just outside it. I got a massive cold chill down my spine when I realised that I was almost there. I knew I had to have another, and asap. I was very dizzy and had to squint and concentrate to pack the next cone. The room was dimly lamp lit and silent. As I lit it up, my attention was immediately drawn to the hand holding the lighter. My skin was red on one side of my hand and faded to green on the other, it looked deformed and .. insect like? This didn't worry me, I knew the score. As soon as I put the bong down I knew I was about to be blasted off this mortal plane and into a distant nirvana. Boy was I right.
The high pitched hum lowered in frequency and became a little louder, and turned into the carrier wave. I've never heard it before but I knew without any doubt that it was. Big washes of colour started seeping into my peripheral vision in the CEV's, then dissolved into the mass of tangled geometric walls and shapes. I could hear distant music, it was like a thousand women singing in unison, an unfamiliar melody but it was nice. At this point I sat up in my chair, eyes stayed closed, straightened my back and stretched my arms upwards toward the ceiling, and took a very deep breath of life. That's what it was like, I had just breathed in life for the first time. It was exquisite. I lowered my arms and was rocking gently side to side in my chair.
I got a bit of a fright because I suddenly had the feeling I wasn't alone any more. I opened one eye just a little thinking there was someone in my living room but there wasn't. Then she appeared. Her name was Aki-aezar. (Ah-kee-ezz-ah) I don't know what that means, I don't know how I knew how to spell it, and I have no idea where it came from. She had no face, just an outline of one. She was maybe 7-8 feet tall, slender and shapely, and had an incredible head dress on. It kind of resembled an indian chiefs feather head dress but it was metallic and very modern looking. She gestured to look around the place I was in. It was a massive cathedral. Chrome steel walls that stretched upwards to a vanishing point, there appeared no ceiling, the walls just faded into a white glow. There was colour in the chrome walls, somehow. It wasn't reflecting off them, it was coming from within them. I gasped a little, it was beautiful. The gasp I made echoed across the huge chamber. In fact, every sound echoed.
Aki-aezar was a kind of 'receptionist' if you will. She was part of a hierarchy, she didn't say this but I just knew. She had a boss, and that boss had a bigger boss. I followed her around the cathedral as she showed me the machines that power my world. Not THE world, just mine. She told me right before she left to always look for the beauty in life. I guess the meaning of that will come to me in time.
After she left, the cathedral steadily dissolved and I was suspended in the geometric void. I was part of it, coalescing with it. I could feel myself coming back and took a deep breath, and gently opened my eyes. I was still sitting upright. I was sitting in a kind of meditative pose. I've never meditated. One hand was open with the palm facing upward, the other was held like the praying position but my middle finger was closed to my palm, the rest open. There were tears literally streaming out of my eyes, and my breathing was a little faster than usual, but I was not upset or sad. I was filled with warmth and love. I considered going back in but quickly dismissed the thought, not yet.
Once I had gathered myself I got up and went to bed, in a lovely afterglow. Hands down the greatest experience of my life, and almost impossible to convey how personal and important it seemed.
I don't recommend anyone trip without a sitter like this, that was irresponsible of me. I had no idea I was even still sitting up, or that I was making gestures with my hands. After I posted my first experience over a year ago, someone replied that 'the rabbit hole goes a lot further down than that.' I didn't believe it, I thought I'd hit the ceiling and was a DMT hero. That person who replied was right. After this trip, I have no idea where the ceiling is, but thankfully I now know where the ground is.
If you're new to the spice or curious, please always respect it, it holds far more power than you or I know.
Peace, thanks for reading.
"..dimethylated spirits on fire in me.."