2:30 AM on the morning of the blue moon 80mg of a 1:1 changa graced the face of my soul and being. Coming on as a warm flowing surge of calm rainbow power punches hyperspace blew down the doors of perception. Halfway through the second toke I could hear the pop that comes along with the Dmt drop into my brain that signifies the "Hello, human" moment in which reality simply ceases to be and hyperspace simply is.
Flip flopping through multicolored fractalline jungle environments with involved movements from animals, especially jackalopes, chacruguars and changarillas with the occasional zebra poodle drip drazzled over the dream scape. Art before my eyes this spirit arised, a graceful bird or an elf I know not which. It was beautiful, a gem to look at and love at in more dimensions than the usual eleven.
At some point along this fractalline roller-coaster across the southwest andromeda a face popped into my brain, a reptillian alienish face which looked like the bug eyed aliens everyone in the 50's used to think lived on Mars until we got to Mars and realized that life didn't want to live there. Anyhoot this face thingamajiggy blinked at me, stared at me, looked me square in the eye sockets and blinked at me. With each and every blink the alien's facial features changed until the face had become mine in shape and form with the exception of the eyes. Those buggy alien eyes never changed. No matter how much the face changed to fit mine the windows to his extraterrestrial soul stayed them same and refused to betray what he really was at heart.
The face dissolved and back into the sea of colors I went. Within the self beneath the stains of time a heart of gold beat strong and hard through the sea of faces never losing sight of what was real and true to it. The heart beat strong and hard through good and bad, happy and sad it sung the same tune at different tempos and always followed the beat of its own drum. The core of the body rested in this simple muscle which beat on and on and on, never taking a break knowing full well that to catch its breath would ensure that it may never breathe again. Infinite stamina sustained it, a great electromagnetic field became known to my attention, expanding in every which way until my body as a whole became a warm center of love and eternal faithful energy. I arose from the blankets and assumed a lotus position. Breath was all there was, breath is still all their will be. In and out. Out and in went the breath while the heart beat along to its own tune. That was all there is in this space of splendour and interstellar fantasy. The bodily rhythms which sustain the self throughout its journey through this wild and wacky segment of our universe.
Warm was my heart, beating full of blood. IT shone like a divine lantern which radiated warmth and love and joy and all other emotion through my body. I focused on the muscle. With every inhalation it absorbed love from the outside world and with every exhalation the warmth and love from within and around spread through my body and my aura, encasing me in what may only be remotely described as an ecstatic feeling of rainbow glowing flowing cozy warm goopy beautiful bliss. Warm love and compassion spread throughout my being with each and every second of thought-devoid mind silence and, in the temporary absence of an overbearingly anxious and egotistical psyche, I felt at one with life, the universe, and everything else that takes eight million years to be summed to 42. Words and language as a whole fail to describe universal unity with any and all being under the boundlessly beautiful blue moon as words were invented to inscribe a sense of subjective, isolated experience by the egotistical brain. In the absence of words, thoughts or any other mental distractions there was simply all; nothing less, nothing more.
It has been but barely an hour and a half since taking that terrific toke and still I feel the elfen halo still spinning around my head. Warm glowing rivers still flow strong and tirelessly from my heart to the rest of my being, providing life-nourishing blood and warmth and consciousness. The bodily system is at one and at peace -- a state seldom felt these days.
I wish to continue this story but, alas, my mind is growing tired and dull and my bed beckons. It has been a long night and an early morning. It is time to integrate the hyperspatial world and the waking sensory dimension of waking reality in sleep and in meditation. I shall continue once the body has recharged and a new day has dawned upon me. Until that time I wish every and anyone reading a hearty thank you for your time and focus and a fantastic August first. May you never forget who you really are at heart and always remain aware of the inner warmth and beauty which you are and forever will be.
Selah.
6:45 PM, August 4, 2015
Reflections are going further back into that day when the plunge was taken into that abyss. Experience has faded into the slipping sliding fleeting force of the present moment in which we all currently exist. The sensory splendour of the journy have faded away but the lessons still stay strong in my heart of hearts. Within that space unlike any other I ruminated upon the power within which is changed and redirected by the tryptamines. Why is it that men aplenty find reverence in this spirit, this siren's stern song? Is it the never ending thist for knowlege and exploration of the world beyond normal perception which drives us to the vast and infinite sea of hyperspace, whose depths we may never ever explore in their entirety? I doth not know.
As an integration project for this experience I have begun studying Moby Dick in the hopes of better understanding myself and my own innate neverending thirst for power and knowlege. The white whale lives on in all of us, summoning each and every one of us to our deaths in the sake of domination and conquering of that which eludes the grasp of personal power. Alas, what is this white whale? Is it a deeper state of hyperspace? A better sense of self? A tempestuous love object who we perceive to lie out of our grasp? The sphere of man's power is ever expanding until it expands too thin and kills him in its collapse. Yet still onward we march against the warnings of the many who have tread this path before us, hell-bendt on achieving that which will forever be beyond our grasp.
To this I warn the human race as a species not to fight their own nature believing themselves the better. Nature is our inherent superior. She has endowed us with great intellect and powers of mental finesse unlike any other species which walks the planet. We have our limits still, and these limits must be met with caution and conservative judgement. Do not venture after the hide of the great white whale, for it is YOU who will be torn asunder by your hubris and self-blindness.
Even more so be observant of those men of power who see beyond their means and try to achieve them. To follow them to these wild aspirations is to ensure your own death along with theirs. Follow no leader and turn a deaf ear to those fools of state and power who seek to accomplish their ill-fated goals at the price of your soul.
'"ALAS,"said the mouse, "the world is growing smaller every day. At the
beginning it was so big that I was afraid, I kept running and running, and I was glad
when at last I saw walls far away to the right and left, but these long walls have
narrowed so quickly that I am in the last chamber already, and there in the corner
stands the trap that I must run into." "You only need to change your direction," said
the cat, and ate it up.' --Franz Kafka