Setting- 2:06 Am. Darkness with some light off a clock (not blinking) and radio (blinking). planning for a Closed Eyes trip once i can get a good hit in. Air conditioned room laying on a couch in the living room. Cats making noise like liking theirself or eating food and air conditioner running in one direction while a loud fan blew in the other where my dad slept(background sound).
Set- Generally Had a good day today; went swimming and got lots of excersize through swimming, got treated some burger king and an energy drink (my guilty pleasure), got out of the house, talked to some friends, read a little and enjoyed it though wished i would have put forth more effort.
recently: some social media conflict, posted some sarcastic comments on an article about police brutality in regard to someone defending the police, lots of stuff to be happy about though slight stress from the social media conflict incident and posting the sarcastic comments though not so in such an incredibly negative way.
Currently Writting the Set and Setting for this trip. The cats might have changed activities but figured i'd mention them. Going to do a little undocumented, personal thinking for this trip and hoping that i can go farther than the last times. Begins the process of pre-trip introspection at around 2:22 Am. I close my computer during this time and do not open it until immediately in the afterglow period.
Type of experience: Definite Break through. "Death like". "intense". questioned reality and scared me for a moment. Words fail me.
The initial dose and it's effects- The first hit was surprisingly a very good one. DMT opened up to me more tonight and i should have stayed at one hit. I do not regret taking more however but weaning into it might have made it a teeny tiny bit easier.
The rest of the doses and their effects- As i took a few other hits (roughly three) i soon found myself emersed into hyperspace.
The effects as the final dose is administered and the experience begins without needing anymore (the transition)- it was very instant. It took control of me. I remember that the body sensations transcended reality and normal ways of sensing things. It almost felt like everything was made of the goo i just vaporized. Imagine too that you think you've just died and understand that the effects will ware off but are unable to relate to that idea and other drastic familiarities through your every day average normal, un-hyperspatial lense. Realizing that the effects will wear off does have some effect on making things easier but when you are unsure if anything is real, if you're dead, if you're just a fake brain, if anything is real, etc it was hard for me to actually become impacted by this notion. Thankfully, i am out of after glow as i begin to fine tune this report better.
Insights- many. I am not in control when i take DMT and that's okay. I just think that was the main idea. Not sure how it has affected me but i know it HAS. I still feel "me" and not drastically different in a negative sense though that was intense. I do have some things to think about and integrate. I hope that i can eventually get to read that integration guide so that i'm able to read it and understand how i could integrate this experience better.
Visuals/Visions- Well there was alot going on and it was kinda hard to explain everything but as usually crazy geometric shapes, impossible to perceive in detail visuals, various colours, patterns, morphing of the visual field, etc. Hard to describe, but definitely not anything simplistic, found in nature, or solidly relateable in appearance to the visual field of normal consciousness.
Entities- either many or a single one, hard to describe. I don't recall any in a physical form and it was a little like they didn't directly communicate with me "in person". Maybe hyperspace has a type of "hypernet" communication. Or maybe the previous use of the internet (which was more than 2 hours, possibly 4 to 6. It is a little hard to prioritize what details are ultimately important because it seems every single one is and i rapidly forget the experience but almost remember it in a way but cannot coherently articulate it
The impact- "holy crap...", scared the crap out of me for a moment during a sort of peak of the peak, extremely intense, beautiful, DMT has a sense of humor and can take that humor too far sometimes (i.e. taking my reality, doing whatever it wants to it, and doesn't care if i protest because i'm not ready for something like that, kinda either making fun of me in a way, or making so many things make so little sense until i have to "let go" or "give in" ).
Misc, summary, and elaboration- So the scary features were: being unable to decide if this or anything i have experienced is real or not. Having no idea what is going on, being unable to feel anything and know for sure that i'm feeling what i'm feeling (like was mentioned earlier, it was as if the actual molecule became everything. Has anyone seen the bravest warriors "wankershim" episode? it's like that but instead wankershim is alot less lovey dovey though not malicious. But i think i experienced both NMT and DMT breakthrough. The NMT description of "feeling hyperspace" is very accurate (refer to wankershim maybe) but i would further this by saying this experience was like "feeling a breakthrough". Hyperspace took control of my reality, senses (including sight, smell, touch, and everything) and created an overwhelming sense of the awesome, epic, profound, depersonalized, universally connected, incredibly personal, indescribable perception. There was a point where "the little death" would describe this blast off in a way (though not so "little" ) and where i could legitamitely believe that i would be stuck on this couch forever in a LIMBO death state (not because of disorientation but rather as a immediate reaction to the profound effects and overwhelming stimulation).
The experience took me beyond anything i've experienced before. I get it. I feel as though as i read different forms of DMT-advice and DMT-logic that i will slightly experience a relateable ironic emotion that i don't know how to describe except as being ironic and highly relateable. Alot of what DMT-Logic is comes from the experience of a break through i think, or at least it seems correlated or as a coincidence.
I understand the reason why we talk about DMT in certain ways and in different contexts and textures and why each one needs to be structured. I understand why the Nexus, who represents DMT and friends (but lets just focus on DMT for the moment) and how that absolutely requires a good deal of quality in content.
I remember the entity that was controling what i experienced was twisting my vision (and once again, realize that all senses have taken on the smell, feeling, qualities, and consciousness of this goo and in a very profound way this is like "synesthesia breakthrough" ) this way and that way and this way and that way (sort of morphing everything in a sort of energetic rhythm). When i touched myself, the couch, the pillow i was using, or anything, i wasn't sure what i was feeling because the stimulus was overwhelming and so much was going on all at once and many stimulus overlapped and tangled up together.
Synesthesia Breakthrough. My fingers, my fingers, ohh god my fingers, how do they have receptors to feel this? how does my brain make them feel this even if it has nothing to do with the touch receptors all over my skin (it wasn't just the fingers alone, involved my whole body, but the finger tips specifically were most sensative)?
In Hyperspace the spectacular is all around you. I don't know if i want to describe anymore because it is THAT hard to articulate that i (a person who is able to flawlessly ramble on for hours) doesn't feel the confidence in communicating what happened accurately and this entire report is as good as it will probably get.
Also i happen to know that the senses are the foundation of your memories that you associate with these senses. I wanted to mention that because during the "pre-introspection phase" (which was nothing more than trying to clear my mind of the effects of the internet through a meditative state in which i should have practiced for longer) that i had the pipe with the goo in it up to my nose, hoping that it would maybe allow me to recall the experience whenever i smell the goo again. i do think that the smell of the product will for sure cause maybe not "flashbacks" but associations with the experience and any experiences i have with this to some kind of degree.
In conclusion, Breaking through is not as easy as watching Breaking Bad. I have alot to think about now and had even more cross my mind during this experience. Hope you guys either understand what i went through or what i mean. Thanks for reading! <3