today during a peak mushroom experience I started drawing, with no intention.

immediately I began to create a disgusting and evil looking entity, parasitic, spider like with many arms, fangs..very wicked and vile. it scared me just looking at it and I'm not going to lie I was upset that I was even able to conjure such a thing, it was like looking at a reflection of my fear on paper. I felt convinced that if I drew him into existence it would be a way of getting it? out of my head.

after I was done I took one look at it and tore the drawing into smitherines..hopefully it's gone now

anyone ever do such a thing?

Not exactly same but resembling: I had this midi keyboard + atari computer (Cubase software) + Yamaha sound generator , a very long time ago, when this tech was all very new for the world, like between 20 to 25 years back.


I made a whole set of little works with it and set them on tape, I found it "deep work" at the time of compiling. Lots of brown Moroccan hash too those days.
15 years or so later I found those tapes back and played them, it was the most disgusting stuff to hit a person with. I threw the tapes away and was almost embarrassed in myself, in a funny way. It was not deep work, it was extremely dark and sour coming out of a poor mind. It was nice to have found myself transformed for the better, and perhaps it was therapeutically to have materialized (being it in sound) what was inside back then.

I feel the same way as Jees. To me it sounds like it's a manifestation of something inside you that you don't like. Perhaps it's not the spider you don't like but your fear of it?

I have always had a symbiotic relationship with spiders. Fear and disgust are the furthest from my mind when I think of spiders. During one of my trips, I even was a spider-like creature!

We all have our fears and things that we don't like, but if we are all one, then you're really disgusted and afraid of a part of yourself! Something to think about Just as a possibility.