(i'm just going to write what comes to mind)

So. I drank a brew of syrian rue tea and acacia confusa root bark. I was surprised to find that i didn't meet any entities, i didn't "hallucinate", and i understood it perfectly fine.

I found that there was definite psychoactivity. during the come-up i started having an alteration in my mood and weird head buzzes. i giggled a little here and there and my whole face smiled unified. i experienced a little bit of internal dialogue too.

for the most part my setting was outside in my front yard, the setting was good. lots of nature, lots of cool air, frogs were making noises off in the distance, bugs would zoom into my vision, etc etc. typical nature behavior.

my set was great, good mood, prepared, happy to be feel welcome, etc.

occasionally a woodroach would fly onto my neck or hand and i'd freak out for just a second.

walking around barefoot was really cool. i know i'm being really general here but the point is this particular change in cognitive consciousness was pleasurable and unique. i remember seeing the moon, it was pretty small from where i was standing but still a wonder of the universe.

I remember seeing a red light flashing randomly in the tree's. i'm pretty sure it was a radio tower or something but during my trip i wasn't certain. i had thought that maybe it was an entity perhaps? not really sure

during the come up i basically felt this weird sensation in my head. (sorry if i'm not going in order of beginning to end. it's easier to just recall whatever comes to mind so please bare with me). it gradually increased into intensity. sometimes it was a tid bit on the side of overwhelming but nothing like how alot of people have described it (very gentle, very managable)

it was a little like a buzzing feeling and i thought "well this is probably what tryptamines feel like" but i certainly wasn't sure because i've never experienced any tryptamines of any kind before. i think primarily this experience was NMT and DMT. i think around my pineal section there was some slight vibration-like sensations.

ohh and i think i understand that description of NMT making you "feel" hyperspace. i remember feeling slightly disconnected from my body, particularly in my hands and somewhat in my head. i could still move them though and it felt really profound to do so.

throughout i was pretty able to do stuff. i could use technology (there was some delay in performing tasks though), i could walk, i could talk, i could read, i could pretty much do most things i can while sober. like i said though, there was some delay in performing tasks and i did loose my balance slightly at one point. during that point i think i started some impromptu tai chi (almost spelled that as chai tea lol). i've never done tai chi but it was pretty interesting to breathe in connection to body movement. i only did it for a few seconds.

also i would sometimes be compelled to close my eyes. i did this whenever it felt natural. i think that's a good way to pace yourself, just let things happen naturally.

ohh and i guess i sang an icaro of the sort. well i just made noises as if singing in tongues but nothing super bizzare. mostly this occurred during come-up.

it was kinda interesting. breathing was a good way to connect to the universe, very direct and simple.

i remember that i could feel and sense my facial expressions in more detail than usual. i certainly was more expressive. creativity was really enjoyable though i didn't do much of anything creative. i suppose i was just inspired or something, perhaps i just was in connection to being more open to things (which included creativity i suppose).

would i do it again? yeah. hell yeah! this was an interesting experience and i could see it used for recreation to a very small degree. on the other hand i definitely think there's deeper things than the unique euphoria this combination of substances presents.

i mean shoot, when's the last time you get to see your life in a completely new way? when's the last time you get to be alone and just understand something your mind is being manifested upon? i don't know about you but sometimes i have trouble understanding life.

that's what was funny... i understood the messages i recieved. i understood what it all meant. the profound was not the same thing as the complex or overwhelming.

and this is just the first step in my journey. i'm sure i have many, many, many experiences ahead of me and i'm very happy about that thought.

after a while (around when i was doing some of that impromptu tai chi (i keep on accidentally almost spelling it wrong! lol), i went inside. the lamp was still on and it made the room look bright and beautifully yellow. a very deep yellow.

soon i came down and now i'm fairly soberish. this was great.

i said something in the chat recently. "pay attention. life passes you by and the little details are bigger than you think. furthermore love is the most important thing. it is like light. it extends in all directions illuminating and enlightening the perspective of such eyes that see. pick up when you fall down. there is no reason to lay on dirt. when life hands you a lesson learn it."

pretty great stuff huh?

i feel like i could say more but to be honest words don't to justice to the experience. not because of anything in particular but it's just not how i would describe it if i had my way.

i do want to give a thanks to the nexus and the people on the chat who answered some of my questions. i feel more connected to this community. i hope to pay more attention to this place and work harder to give back.

ohh and i guess i better mention some important info: i have been taking choline and bacopa daily for a while now, today my diet has recently consisted of avocado's, blue berries, brown rice, a lone fishstick i borrowed from my dad's plate, and a little honey dew. i drank the whole batch (1 oz acrb, 1 table spoon of syrian rue). i don't know if i extracted all the alkaloids considering this wasn't all that intense of an experience, though i did a full 3 hour boil. i haven't taken any drugs recently and i haven't excersized today. i didn't have a trip sitter and i will update you guys on how this experience impacts me tommorrow and in the future (we'll cross that bridge when we get there)

anyways, i think that's it. thanks for reading and possibly commenting. love you guys <3

a little update, i feel that i need to learn skills for integration and possibly work with someone else who can help me to integrate as a sober sitter and someone i can have frequent conversations with and such. i don't think i have fully integrate what i learned through this.

i am hoping that i can have more ayahuasca and ayahuasca analogue experiences in the future because i feel this single experience has just breached the surface.

currently i am undergoing another experience with chaliponga and ACRB. I ingested rue tea about 20-30 mins before ingesting the DMT containing tea. so far i have had some significant insights, mostly through some kinds of paradigms such as when i was listening to music and i suddenly had an increase in rapid and introspective thought processes. i looked around the room and felt a connection with the room, my cats, the universe, my dog, my dad, myself, and everything.

I describe that process of rapid and introspective thought as being grounded and taking directive towards a goal: growth. it's a good feeling. and by "i don't know how to describe it" i really mean that the effects, insights, and emotions experienced are easy for me to understand but not for you.

but it is about love, something special, connection, growing, communicating and integrating, spirituality, recreation, and something that i can't quite describe. it pulsates a little in my body-mind (the cognitive environment of my physical being/body), it vibrates, it has a beat and rythm, and it is alive. you all can relate to that at least a little, huh? even then though words won't do it justice.

what is life anyways? what is the mind? why am i here? what is the purpose of humanity? do i still remember me? do i still remember you? how fragile are these little photographs and video's that rest in some organic database inside myself? do they break so easily like glass can? and then there's a certain point where there is quietness. a certain point where the rythm breaks for a moment and like a current the motion gets picked up again by the surrounding forces therein.

why is it that i try to prove something (in a way). i'm always thinking ahead, i'm always thinking of growth and healing and progress, my consciousness goes deep. but how deep is there to go? where is the last limit to a person?

this is just some thoughts, insights, questions, and "answers" that have been manifested. i hope to give a more accurate detail of the actual experience versus the insights therein.

Sounds interesting, you have the rest of your life to delve deeper . You/We are lucky to have such options.
Wood roaches = Stop the world, I'm getting off