Hey there everyone,
I just wanted to let you all know that I am happy to be alive here on planet earth. I am in a wonderful afterglow that I hope makes for a wonderful week.
Yesterday, I did something both amazing and foolish. I accidentally learned that my harvest is much more potent than I thought it was, and that different jars can have drastically different potency. I'm not really sure why that is, but regardless...
Recently I have finished my first sclerotia grow of Mexicana A. I created about 12 jars of mixed rye berries and whole oats, setting and forgetting for 6 months. So I began the process of determining potency and dosage...which brings me to the beginning of my story.
I don't know exactly what I'm doing, and there isn't much clear info out there about what it should look like, and how to process it. There is lots of vaguely written stuff, which I try to use and a guide for while I fumble my way through this. I'm definitely still learning on the job.
Last weekend I cracked open one of the smaller jars (jars with less substrate), which had colonized faster than the others, and which I assumed would be more ripe/mature than the others. I used a sieve to filter out the small pieces, and cleaned up the large remains to reveal the nut-like nuggets inside. I measured about 174g wet, which I would say isn't quite accurate, since I had probably not done a perfect job at cleaning them. I dried them, blended them into powder, turned them into two cups of tea, and drank half. Nothing. Trip aborted, got a slight feeling out of it, that's it. Level .5 if any. So I assumed my first try at sclerotia was weak, tossed the second cup because it was too late in the evening to continue, and planned to try twice as much next time. Ha ha ha...what a foolish plan. And that second cup probably would have done the trick. Oh well.
So this weekend, I opened the next smallest jar. Got about the same yield, and assumed it had the same potency. Followed the same process, except drank BOTH cups this time, figuring that it would take me to a 2 or 3. About half an hour later, to my growing dismay, I found myself hurting at light speed straight into a massive level 5 black hole of no return. Keep in mind that I had experienced a level 4 with mescaline, which I thought was educational but somewhat unpleasant--not something I would do for a relaxing, thoughtful, happy Sunday afternoon--this went far, far beyond that.
I can't remember most of it, but I'll mention some of the parts that stayed with me. Similar to the mescaline level 4, the experience was pervaded by a feeling of drunken nausea, that started out as unpleasant, climaxed at horrendous, writhing and sweating profusely, then slowly faded away as the trip ended. Interspersed were moments of happiness and joy, but that was a minority. This trip was mostly business and little pleasure. It was going to take me somewhere, bound and gagged if necessary, whether I liked it or not.
I remember at first trying to go about my day, doing chores, eating, watching TV, etc. That didn't last very long, as I found myself unable to concentrate on anything, or figure out how to do simple things. The computer monitors with windows on them were too impossible to understand. Trying to type on a keyboard was impossible. Eventually, I was even unable to sit in my chair.
I would start to do something, manage to get up and walk a short distance, and then completely forget why I had gotten up in the first place. I would then go back to where I was, and fall into a trance. This process repeated for what seemed an eternity. I am happy I didn't pee or poop myself. :-)
I eventually just lay down on the floor. I remember watching the curtains move in the air moved by the fan, the slivers of twinkling sunlight peaking through like gemstones, which was very entertaining. It made me giggle like a little child. As the trip got deeper, the nausea increased, along with the open eyed visuals, until everything was moving and swaying and morphing into other things. The world had become like a water color painting, with clean, delineated edges filled with smooth colors of red, green, and blue, which was quite beautiful but also quite disconcerting. Keeping my eyes open was too much to take in, so I shut them...which lead to deep trances and indescribable visions that I sadly cannot remember. This was the where the amnesia happened mostly.
I remember managing to somehow make it to my bed (stumbling and swaying down long, twisting hallways that in reality amounted to about 15 steps), crawl into it, pull the covers over me, and try to make the trip subside--but it wasn't going to let me off that easy. It had much more in store for me. I fell into a deep trance, where I had the most amazing and terrible visions of biologically-inspired patterns, morphing and twisting in eternity at a pace that was impossible to follow, and somehow becoming one with me. It was at this point that I started to wonder if I was dying. So I laid there, dying in my bed, for who knows how long until it subsided, at which point I went back into my living room and laid back on the floor. (I thought somewhat humorously to myself, "what would someone think if they came in and saw me like this?" I wasn't able to speak, and I seemed to be unconscious on the floor, curled up in a ball. I thought this was funny at the same time as worrisome.)
Eventually this phase let up, and I was able to drink water. Boy was I thirsty! After which I peed ALOT. Each time I went to the bathroom was like a new adventure, due to the extreme time dilation. The nausea had subsided, but in no means was I not still tripping hard. I was still a saucer-eyed fool! While I was washing my hands I glanced in the mirror and saw a frog-like alien creature instead of my face, which frightened me. I turned away quickly and focused on washing my hands, trying not to think about it. If I looked back in the mirror, would it still be there? Don't think about it, don't think about it...
I couldn't stop thinking about it. For a while after that, while I was enjoying my new freedom of motor control (that is, walking around), I was that frog-like martian thing in my head. I was, for that time, something else entirely. I felt alien, like that thing in the mirror.
At the seven hours mark, I was finally able to eat, and I was ravenous. I stayed up late, knowing that sleep would be futile, even though the trip seemed to be gone. When I was finally so tired that my eyes were closing on me, I went to bed and dreamed of tripping. Yes, I actually dreamed of tripping, which was kind of like tripping all over again. I found that somewhat amusing when I woke up.
Today is the next day, and I think I am actually still tripping a little, lol. My motor skills aren't perfect, I am easily distracted and having trouble focusing like normal, and it feels comfortable to stare off and let my mind wander instead of actually doing the things I would normally do.
Moral of the story, and the lesson I learned, that I hope you will take as advice: do not assume that the potency of the sclerotia jars will match each other, even though they are the same kind and look exactly the same! And if you are lucky enough to have a tripping buddy, put them on-duty as travel guide while you are determining potency for measuring doses, just in case this happens.