I did keep a dream journal for around 2 months and drew small sketches with descriptions. They were great and in most of them I was flying, or unaffected my gravity. Most of the time it was uncontrollable and i would float like a ballon to the ceilings. I could recognize the brief period of lucidness. Still awake my thoughts begin to feel and look different right before i pass into sleep. My dreams at this time were scattered and very creative. I was unfortunately locked up but my daily routine was extremely monotonous. (sold led to undercover at a music festival). Surrounded by inmates who thrived off of the Maury show and BET. I did read quite a bit, a few biographies and many other great novels. In any case, I got a long with everyone and really had no stress there. things were taken care of on the outside and my dreams reflected that.
I completely agree that our dreams reflect things that happen in our days. Sometime when i run into someone I haven't seen in years they show up in my dream that night.
In any case I am still dealing with the repercussions of that arrest. I am in an intensive drug court program but i just entered phase 3(last phase). I've been in this program since June 2013. I got a false positive for morphine in dec 2013. There is potential for error with these tests. my opiate levels were 122, when 2000+ is considered positive. After two months of intense scrutiny I was given the benefit of the doubt and it was considered a negative.
Part of this program is a daily call in. if your number comes in you must report for a drug screen. I would get called in 2x a week in the beginning. every monday is a weekly 20-30min call in to the program coordinator who takes her job SERIOUSLY!!! and on top of that i would have to report to court every wed. in phase 2 the court appearances drop to bi weekly. and now in phase 3 its once a month + 30 hours community service.
phew..
So this program is intensive. If i got a false positive once, it can happen again though not likely. There are serious repercussions for missing a drug test, not calling in or being late for court. so my dreams focus on this. Even though I do everything I'm asked, and I put in 100% effort its like a dark cloud.
I havent smoked pot in 3 years and I miss it.
I havent drank alcohol in almost 2 years and i love our separation.
I haven't done opiates/coke in over 3 years, which is why i was so upset to get a false positive in dec 2013.
I've been over a year removed from Rx meds benzos.
I had a bad run with Ketamine and GHB because they are untestable.. it got bad
Thank god for mushrooms and dmt.
1 dmt experience is enough to change someones life. Ive smoked around 70ish times. it helped me so much.
I've been eating mushrooms maybe once or 2x a month at more mild doses. 1-2g. honestly its not really fun, i eat them when i need a kick in the ass. they throw me into deep self analysis. My last 3g+ trip was in Sept. I like to take higher doses like that outside in warm weather. been around 0degrees here in NY the past 2 weeks.
Im working on a SP mesh extraction atm for spring. stepping into the warmer weather.
My last Mesc extraction yielded 400mg of 80% pure Xtalz.. unfortunately the addict in me ate some led on top of it and then smoked some dmt. its was ok but i was a little disappointed that i did that. that was a long time ago.
I've matured a lot since then. but my dreams haunt me.. they are full of fear of failure to complete this drug court program. and the consequences are probably 5 years in prison :/
I only give this rap to give the understanding as to why my dreams are so stress filled, even though I'm doing everything right. I try to remain creative, painting, digital stuff.. I'm in school.
thannks for letting me rant.
We actually worship incomprehensibility as the highest form of explanation. ~TM