I have seen my soul and it is beautiful.

2-12-2015

0:00 21 mg self extracted harmalas sublingual
3:00 40mg MHRB freebase gifted me by my long lost MU vaporized in two hits in my trusty machine (so reviled by MU but soooo loved by me)
3:40 basline enough to write this.

This is part 2 of a tryptic I am in the course of that coincides with the moon cycles. Tonight is the half moon.
I dosed the harmalas at 8:30pm. My wife decided to stay up and hang out with me instead of going to bed early as she does fairly routinely. At 11:00 she goes to bed. I make tea and prep my headspce, sitting space. Darkened living room, all is qiet and serene. The harmalas are still coursing their relaxing tide.

I broke through during the first hit. the harmalas helped guide my hand to finish the dose. Shortly after i heard my child cry out briefly in her sleep. She was asleep in the bedroom with my wife. The parental alert overtakes my senses, A loud sine-wave shrieked as the visuals ensued, I opened my eyes to scan the room for danger forgetting the massive breakthrough I am inside of, acknowledge I am aware of the log in the wood burning stove, remember and acknowledge that I am in hyperspace mode and to STAY PUT. The visual way my thoughts radiate through the space is like tentacled arms. It is beyond description, nothing is flat and CGI-like it can be. As i scan the alarm quiets to a hum saying "the fire is in the stove but contained". Babies are with mommy, time to let go...

I relax my rigid, taught body, breathe deep and close my eyes and I am in the presence of something so beautiful, like an ever unfolding coral, like a flower with receptors that are electric it senses my serenity and obliges with its own but I get the picture that this creature is capable of inflicting damage if it is threatened. As I look deeper this being shows me a secret. I am being shown my soul. My tentacled majesty pulsating and radiating with electricity. Reds and blues flash though my tentacles. THIS is my astral body. It has a name and it is spoken to me but for the life of me I cannot repeat it fully. Something like Ilifthrithium(???!!!????). (I wish I could now change my screen name here...) It is a beautiful name spoken over and over to me by my soul. This part of me is ancient. The human me is but one of many lives experienced. I am in awe and wonder of it. Nearly to tears but decide I will not let human emotion take over the experience.

I begin to realize I must care for this part of me greatly, nurture kindness and giving and respect. Many of the darker souls I have encountered I realize may be other version of myself or other souls ravaged in suffering I am witnessing and now I understand how this clean, beautiful electric presence takes dedication and love to stay in this state of grace. Any cage that imprisons me is of my own making and I realize NOW that I have seen this I know WHO I am that this moment will help me to navigate the deepest regions of hyperspace and beyond. My gratitude is eternal.

Nice trip report. Nothing worse than thinking everything is OK for flight and just get into it and get distracted or interrupted. Good though when you can still function enough to know everything checks out alright

Thanks for the report, I remember my first experience like this! Was a real turning point in my life and in the nature of my experiences I had there after when smoking dmt. Remember what you learned and try and bring it with you to your trips, doing this lead to my eventual 'end of the line' experience.

Happy for you and wish you the best of luck on your journey from here on!