Syrian Rue full spectrum Harmalas sublingual 25 mg
138mg smoked 1:1 Changa made with Syrian Rue harmala extract and full spectrum ACRB DMT freebase 30 min and finished off 40min after taking the Harmalas.
n contemplation of this last journey there was so much beauty. The gorgeous patterning of the exterior walls of hyperspace with their glyphs and symbols shifting like encryption coding. The feeling of being sized up. Opened eyes revealed something different than the other standoff. Going for the second round to push through was not enough. The Tibetian Gyoto Monks in my headphone really helped ease everything in in the beginning but there were messages that were blurred by the music, actually a test at the gates. Everything went from neon to grey curtains. an intense light seeping though the cracks but unavailable to access I try and guess at the instruction that was un-repeated to no avail. What to do? My other dose was in the other room, I get up slowly but impulsively, my mind like a disappointed child.

Luckily I have the space Harmalas give to process the experience and see this behavior. I was not even meditating on the lesson but just on the breakthrough. I stop and try to focus my meditation. My brain was like a monkey in rut. Jumping here and there in spite of my efforts. I observe the power "mind" has over me. Then I look at the doubts about my self that arose during the rejection. What can I do something about. What do I see as core flaws in my integrity? Things I put in front of my family, I see they are a path to losing them. Things I put in front of my relationship with what I call God. I realize my meditation practice has fallen to the side. These are not new things and I have dealt with these things before. To me it seems enlightenment does not have a shelf life. I feel an urgency to participate and see purpose more clearly. Free of the machinations of addictive mind functioning. I can apply my work here.

I methodically made a punch list of things I can take care of and that are within my power to change. I decided out loud to not return until I dealt with these things in real life before I come back again.