PRE-CONDITIONSMindset: Calm, curious, naive. A little nervous because I'm breaking new territory.
Physical condition Set: Bowels properly evacuated. I have a certain set of skills, and therapeutic whole-body pooping is one of them. Also had a hot shower, feeling relaxed. Systems are all normal.
Setting: The library, aka, my bathroom. I'm playing a chillout trip instrumental song on my iPad. This helps me gauge how long I've been in hyperspace and fully determine what senses I'm receiving input from, and when.
time of day: 21:00
recent drug use: Frequent DMT user, (1 or 2 x a week) but nothing else. Last DMT hit was 3 days ago.
last meal: Carrots, snow peas and light salad w/lemon dressing. Consumed @ 18:00.
PARTICIPANTGender: Androgynous.
body weight: 72 kg.
known sensitivities: None.
history of use: Done dmt 40 times over the last six months, only one prior successful trip with an MAOI. I still feel like an advanced novice, if there is such a thing. Basically I'm like a level 3 sorcerer who's about to level up to 4 and get the cool spells. No other drug use whatsoever.
BIOASSAYSubstance(s): Super fluffy white spice, boiled down caapi leaf "changa dust" (like a 4x or 5x). Basically, boiled down 60 g of caapi leaf onto 1 g, total weight 17g. The enhaced leaf was removed and a brown residual was left on the evaporation dish. This was scraped off as a dust.
Dose(s): 20 + 25 mg spice, 100 mg brown enhanced caapi powder
Method of administration: Spice was vaped from a bong w/ "the key", "changa dust" was dissolved into 5 ml of vinegar + 30 ml of warm water, plugged. You know, rectally injected. Enemized. (As a side note, knowing what I do now, I wouldn't hesitate to plug again. Super painless. Smoking caapi sucks - its smoking dangit! Vaping and plugging all the way. Smooth.)
EFFECTSAdministration time:
T=0:00 Plugged changa dust enema.
T=0:30 Toked 20 mg of spice. Fair hits, decent holds.
T=0:35 Toked 25 mg of spice.
Duration: 40 minutes
First effects: Immediate.
Peak: 10-15 minutes in.
Come down:20
Baseline: 60 minutes.
Intensity (overall): 2-3, definitely a 3 at the peak.
Evaluation / notes:
OPTIONALPleasantness: 1
Unplesantness: 0
Visual Intensity: 3
AFTER-EFFECTSHangover: none
Afterglow: Increased alertness, lack of tiredness, like I had drank one caffeinated soda. Not wired, but a tad spunky. No real glow, so to speak.
REPORTPHEW!
The first 20 mg made the carpet on my bath mat shimmer. I'm in a half lotus seated position and my regular vision flucuates between fuzzy and extra sharp. I'm kind of drowsy, something that DMT usually does to me. I think, "The anal MAOI probably didn't work, this will be regular hard-to-remember space out dmt trippiness." Then I take out my pre-measured screen sandwich with 25 mg and push it into "the key". ""Here we go", I mumble.
And there I went.
It slowly creeps up on me until I don't even notice that its there. I am in the hyperspace version of my bathroom, except I don't know it. I close my eyes, I get some geometric visuals, relaxing, but not noteworthy. I open my eyes. My brain is still working normally, am I tripping? I lay down.
Then it hits me. I haven't just sent my brain off to hyperspace, I've brought my body. I know that I will be quite scared later, but I somehow delay the fear and close my eyes. Suddenly I'm in the "dreamlike" hyperspace where I know its not real, but its an engulfing 4-d movie.
The magician, whom I briefly see in the corner of my eye, is dressed up like tuxedo mask. He's a projection of myself, a masculine version of myself, and i feel gender neutral for a while. He waves his hands and this time I get to be the assistant. My mind's eye goes into a box with a false bottom that I fall out of. Instead of hitting the ground, I drop through a portal and land on my feet. This exercise is repeated as I go into a cage and my mindbody doesn't need to fall through anything, it just vibrates through it. The magician bows out, and the movie portion of the trip is done, so I open my eyes.
My brain thinks, okay, that was pretty much what I was looking for - I just had visuals like I had always wanted. I feel like I can remember a good portion of it. I'm fully alert, looking at the HD version of my ceiling (I have slight myopia that is fixed for 10 minutes after I vape DMT - I see detail much better at distance). I look at my feet, expecting to see what every person sees when they look at their feet when they are not high. But I see bigfoot's feet. The toes are long, hairy. This just got real.
And then the fear returns, the one delayed from earlier. I'm not coming down. I feel the MAOI in my anus and it has done its job. I'm 100% lucid and I'm in hyperspace bathroom oddworld. I look at my hands, which are interlaced - which is one of my "charms" that roots my back to the real world and helps me know how high I am. For the life of me, I cannot tell which finger is attached to which hand.
Then I notice that my hands are like prosthetic hands that are cut from their body at the wrist. I cannot find the rest of my arm. I am freaking out at this point. I get a flashback from my hellish vaporhuasca trip (100% real death trip report), since the trippiness is on the same level and I'm so gone (and yet so present) I don't know if I'll ever come back. That trip was so potent - I breathed death into every cell of my body - a single image or memory flash from it strikes true horror into my soul. I feel the same MAOI-ness, so fear I'll be heading down that same path. For reference, I thought I was living in a Rene Magritte painting (somewhere between "The human condition" and "the blank signature"; his realistic stuff, not the Picasso looking stuff).
Then my brain starts talking to my spirit about what I'll tell my husband when he finds me lying on the floor. My brain tells the governor to speak - I clearly say "R, I'm okay, if you come in here I'm just high as F. I feel good, I just have diarrhea, no, thats not true. I'm okay but I'm high as F". At least I think I spoke physically.
My brain talks to the rest of me, calming me down for a bit, saying, "Look, you're high as F. Yes. But you'll come back. It just may take a few hours. Everything is okay at home. Yes, you should probably get a sitter and alert people to what you're doing but you'll likely be back in 'real' reality in time for work tomorrow."
My body, however, still needs more convincing, it tries to but feels drunken and remembers the rules I've written on my heart regarding tripping: stay put, ride it out. Thankfully it lays back down, even though its seriously freaking out on the inside but not showing it to anyone. That prideful body, it never wants to show weakness to anybody.
Then a voice, which I think is one of my personalities, tells me, "What if you are supposed to becoming enlightened right now and you're missing it? Because you're afraid, you could be missing the beauty of it all!"
And that lady was right on. My freaking out kept me from experiencing what mind bending things I could be experiencing. Out of the corner of my eye I see a dark figure, a shadow figure. He passes by. I'm not sure how he got into my bathroom. I'm confused at where I am. I thought this was supposed to be reality?
Inside my body, I feel good. No nausea, no pounding headache, no psychically racing heart. My vitals are good. If I had to go on for 2-8 more hours, I could do it. It wouldn't hurt me, it'd just blow apart my mind. My psyche calms down a bit. I chill out my aura. Things are okay.
I do a reality check and try to count my fingers. Looking at the whole of them, I know there are five. Counting them individually I count 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 .... when did I grow an extra finger. I stare at them for what seems to be ten minutes, and watch the surface color of my skin change like a flesh colored flame. It's like tiger stripes. I feel the trippiness fade out a bit, but I'm nervous because with the MAOI I cannot truly be sure if I'm still in hyperspace or just augmented trippy real reality.
I stand up and look at my face in the mirror. My reflection is more me than my physical me. I see my face as if it were a tiger. The hair grows and flows into a tigers resemblance. Then I see myself inside the reflection of my iris, inside my iris. If I had a little more DMT in me right now, I reckon, I'd actually be able to physically climb into the mirror into my iris, into that wide open blackness and alternate reality inside my ocular cavity. But I don't, so I start shadowboxing. I'm a pretty good hobbyist kick-boxer, so while I've got this hyper awareness, I decide to just refine my technique. I really dial into a good, slow rhythm, getting lots of good reps of strikes. Quality repetitions. My alternate brain says "why are you doing this", but I tell it that I like boxing so why would it somehow be beneath me to do something I love - even if I'm high as a kite? Who says I have to be all cosmic and commune with gods and angels and strange two dimensional 8-bit intelligences?
I continue boxing until my vision becomes less crisp. I'm sure I'm down now - I'd need glasses to get my vision back to what it just was. I feel pretty good about what happened - I tried something new and it turned out okay. It was not unpleasant at all, I check the clock and am satisfied that I didn't spend all night in hyperspace. I feel like I got a good hyperslap showing me how much more practice I need at controlling myself, my fears, my intentions and my set and setting for further trips. I felt like the experience lasted for 2 hours, and yet, only 2 minutes. Very strange.
Next time I do DMT + MAOI, I believe I can extract so much more because I won't freak out - I will have been there before. It'll be crazy, but I can drink it up.
In that I rejoice.
- FF
"I knew a woman in Christ above fourteen years ago, (whether in the body, I cannot tell; or whether out of the body, I cannot tell: God knoweth
such an one caught up to the third heaven."