So today I tried my electric sheep blend for the third time after taking a break after freaking out during my second attempt. Anyway, that attempt sent me to a version of my room that was entirely 2d and plastic looking.
I put about .09 of the blend into my bong (my mix was a little off, so it's like 40mg DMT) and lit it. The first light didn't take since the bowl was clogged
. I fixed that and went back to smoking, trying to get there before my anxiety stopped me. Hitting it took a while, the bongs only about 7inches tall in total and has a very small chamber, so it took about three hits to clear it, but they were spaced out since I went slow.
As soon as I exhaled on the third hit and tried to light a fourth, I noticed that I was in the same plastic room as before, but it was a lot more welcoming this time around. I immediately closed my eyes just in case I could still reach hyperspace (didn't think I could honestly). What happened next was a glimpse I guess.
My eyes were closed but I could see this huge, intricate stained glass window - there were so many colours on it, it was so beautiful. The design on it made me think of a cathedral, so that's what I'm guessing I was looking into, I can still see it clearly in my head. There was a female presence (felt like the same one as my first electric sheep attempt), but I couldn't see her, but I definitely knew she was there and she knew that. I saw this weird smoke/haze going towards me, it was really dense and very ribbon like, I didn't hear anyone say it, but something said "not yet".
It felt like the smoke was a gift from her? After that happened, all of the depression and anxiety I've been feeling lately about a lot of things disappeared. I opened my eyes to change songs really quick and to see if my room was still there/plastic/whatever (it was).
When I closed them again, the cathedral was gone. I could see a sort of spinning colour wheel that was very cylindrical as well, it was spinning and lighting up something (I can't tell what it was). I could feel a lot of things/people/entities here, they were walking around in a pretty organized fashion (again, I didn't see anything besides the colour wheel, but that's how I made sense of it I guess). They didn't seem to notice/acknowledge me/care that I was there. The colour wheel was slowly drifting away/getting less intense as soon as I noticed that there were other things present.
I know that this wasn't a breakthrough experience, but I don't mind. I feel so relieved right now, like a huge weight was lifted from me. Part of me wishes that I had broken-through though, could it have been my bong? I was kind of hoping to take it all in one hit, but the chamber is way too small (only like 1.5-2ish inches tall), I don't know...maybe I took too long to hit it.
Anyway, I just wanted to post this in case anyone else is like me and is extremely nervous about going into hyperspace. After this happened, I'm not afraid of it anymore, maybe a bit anxious, but at least I'm not terrified of the idea. Everything felt so welcoming
Also, one thing I noticed, every time that I've tried to smoke dmt before, every color/pattern/whatever I saw either (cev or oev) was moving extremely fast. but the cathedral was completely still, and the colour wheel was rotating slowly. It wasn't as hectic this time