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A cautionary tale.... Options
 
All Hail HypnoToad
#1 Posted : 8/22/2014 6:10:58 PM

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The other night I rolled myself a big fat blunt (.8g high grade grape deseil marijuana) and rolled in it like 200mg of some very nice sword shaped, slightly yellow DMT extracted from acacia confusa. I find that if rolled properly this blunt will give me a breakthrough with about two or three drags. It smells awful, but tastes and works great!!

I start by smoking a few drags till my arm appeared remove itself from my arm socket, and then floated my arm to the ashtray to put the blunt out. This was wonderful, I looked at my girlfriend and saw how amazingly beatiful she was...OMG!! My heart almost stoped. I love my girlfriend so much!!!! So I decided to play with her, the DMT showed me the subtleties of her actions, and I was able to make her smile...you know, that deep smile of true happiness that come from deep in the soul!!

Since this was so overwhelmingly positive (and the DMT was fading) I lit the blunt again. After a couple drags I saw a vision of love so beautiful, and I saw a perfect trick to prove, indefinitely, and without a doubt that I absolutely love my girlfriend with all my heart. I was so excited, I thought in five minutes she would have an epiphany, I was absolutely sure that there was no way she could escape the realization. Mind you I did not put this blunt out...kept hitting it thinking it was gonna make this grand gesture of love all the more exciting.

I get close to my girl and put my arm around her, I thought I was giving her a gentle hug, but I'm tripping hard and I guess I choked her a bit. She gets upset...so my dumbass thinks this would be perfect for the epiphany she's about to have (a deep look into my heart). I figured if I could piss her off, like REALLY piss her off, that when the realization clicked it would really show her my love...it was gonna be the ultimate gesture of love (nothing in the universe ever could compare). So I tell her I'm gonna slit her throat Shocked I didn't mean it, I just wanted her MAD. So she grabbed a knife, and said she should leave...I said there's the door (I'm laughing inside because I KNOW as soon as she gets outside she gonna have that realization). Then she says she is leaving, I told her to kick rocks.

I smoked that blunt to a roach...I'm blasted...and then it hit me...what I'd done...no magic realization for my girlfriend...WTF was I thinking...I just told the love of my life that I'd slit her throat!!!! We had a rough night after that. I cried for hours. Luckily for me my girlfriend is very understanding...I hope she knows I would never hurt her...she stayed with me <3!!!!!

So be careful Nexians!!! Be safe...and don't believe your own ideas when your tripping...I know it FEELS like it makes sense in your head, but It doesn't translate!!
 

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Redguard
#2 Posted : 8/23/2014 1:55:07 AM
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All Hail HypnoToad wrote:

So be careful Nexians!!! Be safe...and don't believe your own ideas when your tripping...I know it FEELS like it makes sense in your head, but It doesn't translate!!


You should consider taking a long break from tripping. One of the things I love about smoking dmt is the trips are relatively short, so generally we don't have much time to do a lot of damage... if things were to go bad Very happy

But, can you imagine how bad this could have been if you were on lets say, mushrooms or lsd? You seem to be a candidate for jumping off the balcony of a high rise because it seemed like a good idea at the time! I know these weren't the words you wanted to hear, but take it from a seasoned tripper who has just made about every mistake you can make. You crossed a line, it's up to you to realize just how badly you crossed it and make sure it doesn't happen again.
“I am that gadfly which God has attached to the state, and all day long …arousing and persuading and reproaching…You will not easily find another like me.”-- Socrates
 
Felnik
#3 Posted : 8/23/2014 3:13:38 AM

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I don't even know where to start . First and foremost you sound like a
big risk to yourself and others . I would seriously consider taking
a long or permanent break from this stuff ASAP. This is way bigger than
oh I'm just on a drug it's cool. Threatening to stab someone ? Really
It's not ok one bit . It's a serious problem that you really should look at .
The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible.
Arthur C. Clarke


http://vimeo.com/32001208
 
universecannon
#4 Posted : 8/23/2014 3:18:25 AM



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...I'd definitely take a long break and rethink your intentions and approach

Why are you even loading 200mg in there? That amount is enough for like 6 or 7 breakthroughs if you smoke it right.

These sorts of delusions seem more common when people smoke a lot of cannabis on the comeup of other psychedelics (although usually lsd or mushrooms, not a short smoked DMT trip)



<Ringworm>hehehe, it's all fun and games till someone loses an "I"
 
All Hail HypnoToad
#5 Posted : 8/23/2014 4:30:11 AM

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I know I crossed a line...I messed up...but I'm far from inexperienced or irresponsible...this is a tale of caution coming from a seasoned tripper.

I've tripped hundreds upon hundreds of times without incident...not even close.

I was caught off guard by this experience...I just want you guys to be careful.

I know what I did...hopefully this story gives some insight to someone on a path toward destruction.

Thumbs up
 
AcaciaConfusedYah
#6 Posted : 8/23/2014 11:17:10 AM

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A few questions...

1. Do you feel like it's important for your girlfriend to have an epiphany or realization? How long have you been thinking that she "needs" to have some realization? Why?

2. Was your girlfriend on the molecule as well?

3. do you normally associate epiphanies and realizations with the act of frustrating some one, or was this a one time thing?

4. Do you often smoke around other people?


I'm just trying to figure this out. I can't really fathom how this whole event came to be. I would imagine that this might be a sore subject with the gf for a while.

If I had just taken a puff or two, and was then told that my throat was going to be slit, I'd probably start thinking about getting the heel out of that place as well. Not good, but you know that. No sense in getting bent out of shape about it at this point.


I think that you might want to smoke solo for a little while. You might never want to do it around your gf again.

If I pulled that stunt with my wife. .... oh man, I'd be in trouble for weeks! She'd be pissed, and confused. She'd likely ask me to never do dmt again, and if I did do it, I doubt she'd be happy about it.

God luck, man.
Sometimes it's good for a change. Other times it isn't.
 
All Hail HypnoToad
#7 Posted : 8/23/2014 1:11:11 PM

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1.no, the idea came to me as I was tripping. I "thought" it would be obvious and magical...I was so wrong...she already knows how much I love her...

2.she was sober..

3.one time thing...I thought she couldn't escape the realization...

4.almost always around someone...I hardly go solo...

My girlfriend has been very understanding about the whole affair...I've smoked with her around since and no issues...we had a tough night, but we are past this already...she's knows I meant no harm...all I did was talk crazy...I never had any weapons...but I did give her quite a scare.


I know now I can't act on my thoughts while tripping...if you got a life changing idea while tripping, try not to act on it while tripping. Wait til your sober and think about it first...I didn't practice integration...instead of integrating the experience to my life, I tried to make DMT my life...DMT can be an awesome tool of healing, but if you don't respect it, it can just as easily destroy you


Please be careful

Much Love <3 Love
 
DreaMTripper
#8 Posted : 8/23/2014 2:27:16 PM

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High grade sativa can really screw your sense of reason and rationale up.
Mixed with other things more so, especially something so mentally stimulating as dmt.
Good youve learnt your lesson and that your gf is so understanding.
 
kaaos
#9 Posted : 8/23/2014 3:18:45 PM

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All Hail HypnoToad wrote:

I get close to my girl and put my arm around her, I thought I was giving her a gentle hug, but I'm tripping hard and I guess I choked her a bit. She gets upset...so my dumbass thinks this would be perfect for the epiphany she's about to have (a deep look into my heart). I figured if I could piss her off, like REALLY piss her off, that when the realization clicked it would really show her my love...it was gonna be the ultimate gesture of love (nothing in the universe ever could compare). So I tell her I'm gonna slit her throat Shocked I didn't mean it, I just wanted her MAD. So she grabbed a knife, and said she should leave...I said there's the door (I'm laughing inside because I KNOW as soon as she gets outside she gonna have that realization). Then she says she is leaving, I told her to kick rocks.


after reading this i can't help but to assume you're not as experienced as you say/think so. first of all that need of yours to make her go through the same realization you had is a pronounciation of fear. these are just assumptions based on your speech and actions but it reminds me of that anxious feeling when one experiences a deep connection to other and fears it won't be corresponded with such intensity.
that morbid idea of yours to get her attention was completely out of limits. it reminds me too of a kid who does/says bad things just to feel the warm embrace of it's family.
your insecurity, maybe triggered by the herb too, could've gone out of hands. and i'm not even imagining you slitting her throat but you could've ruined your relationship easily.
not trying to be to harsh on you but it seems you lack some mental control and that is a nono for anyone doing psychedelics.

hope everything is alright between you both Thumbs up
"..undisturbed by order, chaos creates balance. it is not the artifical balance of scales and weights, but the lively, ever-changing balance of a wild and beautiful dance. it is wonderful; it is magickal. it is beyond any definition, and every attempt to describe it can only be a metaphor that never comes near to its true beauty or erotic energy."

"the angel is free because of his knowledge, the beast because of his ignorance. between the two remains the son of man to struggle."
 
All Hail HypnoToad
#10 Posted : 8/23/2014 4:28:46 PM

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I was never afraid that she needed this realization...My girlfriend already KNOWS I love her...I just thought it would be a grand gesture of love.

Thank you for your input
 
kaaos
#11 Posted : 8/23/2014 5:15:12 PM

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All Hail HypnoToad wrote:
I was never afraid that she needed this realization...My girlfriend already KNOWS I love her...I just thought it would be a grand gesture of love.

Thank you for your input


maybe i did not explained it well (my english is rusty!)
it wasn't her the one needing that realization of love and empathy but yourself, in the sense that you reached it and wanted her to feel the same back. lack of balance in love can be a reason to anxiously fear it's consequences.
maybe you were affraid to not have that correspondence after having such an intense revelation, and so acted "violently" in response. a defense mecanism.
"..undisturbed by order, chaos creates balance. it is not the artifical balance of scales and weights, but the lively, ever-changing balance of a wild and beautiful dance. it is wonderful; it is magickal. it is beyond any definition, and every attempt to describe it can only be a metaphor that never comes near to its true beauty or erotic energy."

"the angel is free because of his knowledge, the beast because of his ignorance. between the two remains the son of man to struggle."
 
All Hail HypnoToad
#12 Posted : 8/23/2014 5:31:39 PM

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I didn't actually act violently...I was calm, never physically threatening....

I said some terrible things...but that's it

I was not afraid of anything...I was just so SURE she'd see the awesome beauty

My logic was messed up...I couldn't comprehend time (but the clear headed feeling of DMT tricked me).
This story is just a warning to those who think they are thinking straight, because even though it FEELS like your head is clear, it might not be...the DMT experience just does not translate to normal waking consciousness!!!

Again Much LoveLove
 
brainforest
#13 Posted : 8/23/2014 5:35:56 PM

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Thank God she left.

Otherwise you may have found yourself eating her brains, post throat slit.

Just to confirm your unabiding love for her to the world.

All the best mate.

Take it easy
"Better safe than sectioned."
 
All Hail HypnoToad
#14 Posted : 8/23/2014 6:45:50 PM

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No...she stayed...she loves me very much...it only took me a minute to realize what was going on...I'm very blessed to have her
 
brainforest
#15 Posted : 8/23/2014 6:47:54 PM

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Indeed, glad it all worked out.
"Better safe than sectioned."
 
darklordsson
#16 Posted : 8/23/2014 6:52:45 PM

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directly stating any sort of harm is a problem, but im sure everybody before me on this post stated that already. so im not gonna wipe your nose in your mistake as well, jus don't do it again. glad you patched things up buddy,

Take careThumbs up
 
 
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