Dear Community,

I'm 23 y/o and living currently physically in Austria. My mind & spirit are travelling in other worlds and dimension since I'm a young child.
I used to ask myself back then "What'S wrong with this planet, what is happening here? What's the cause for all this suffering?" and felt Weltschmerz for a long time.

I started to smoke Marijuana when I was 12. It helped me a lot to dissociate from my body and dirft away to my "ideal" world, being creative in problemsolving and escape from emotional pain I suffered from. Soon my world seamed even more far away from the norm, so I wouldn't open up to other people and instead write a lot.
When I had great troubles with my idendity, my past experiences and the current situation I used to backout from "normal course of life" together with Marijuana as long as I felt emotionally stable again.

My parents raised me with spiritual knowdledge, but I judged them for not living it authentically. So at one point I was very mad and left "their world" and finally be on my own. I blunderd into the hotel and restaurant industry and ended up as a barkeeper in a disco. Alcohol and Marijuana have been very good friends in that time, and the longer I kept in that surrounding the more I was involuntarily "introduced" to chemical drugs.

My great ability to dissociate from my body got also my worst problem and I suffered from a lot of situations happend when I was crossed over and manipulated into situations I didn'T felt comfortable at all but havn't seen a way to free myself.

. Trough a documentation about DMT my interest for Ayahuasca increased and I manifesated myself 2 experiences within a so called shamanic retreat. I learned to feel more connected with nature and the universe. Last summer I went to collect some shrooms and felt the urge to eat fresh fly agaric. It helped me to "look at" some old expierences and "freeze" the emotions I used to associate.
This year I consciously decided to try Molly and was very positively surprised, since I never felt so happy and (anxious) free. I was worried to get depended but gladly I could controll myself since then. Also I experimented a lot with sleep deprivation, overworking, not eating and drinking and had very creative moment, but also paranoia and anxiety states.

Recently I started to read a book "High without Drugs" by Frederick E. Dodson.
One of my aims is to reach a conscious without the need for physical substance. Until then I want to learn to consciously use physical substances to support my personal development and unfold my excellence.

I applicate for a promotion of my membership to enable myself the entrance to a more purposive experience state.


˜”*°•.☆ Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu ☆.•°*”˜
May all beings everywhere be happy and free, and may the thoughts, words, and actions of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and to that freedom for all.