Hi there, please allow me to introduce myself.
I'm 22 y/o and from the Netherlands. As such, I've had access to a a culture that is tolerant of substances and I was first introduced to Marijuana when I was just about 11. I've had a long term relationship with Marry Jane, but things didn't work out in the long run. I suffered from some depression, which where onset after insomnia and anxiety, which which occurred after having abused - what in my current opinion shouldn't be a recreational substance, but a teacher herb, to be handled with caution and respect - her too much and then not using for a long time. Our relationship was on-again-off-again for a long time, but that's in the past now, and we are again on speaking terms.
When I was about 18, I had my first experience with Psilocibine/Psilocine, in the form of Truffels, which are sold freely here. I was completely blown away, got rid of a lot of cultural imprinting, limiting patterns and social conditioning and programming. However, again, because I was young and foolish, I over-indulged. Which became quite weird, and I got disconnected from "reality" for a while. I stopped, reconnected and became normal again.
Some time later, I attended a awe-inspiring psychadelic festival in Hungary, in the summer of 2011, O.Z.O.R.A. I was there for 3 intense days, in which I had my 3rd strike of youthful stupidity, I mixed MDMA, with Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. There where Mushrooms involved. I think some "Kathy" or other crap. I accidentally toked what turned out to be an Opiate. Smoked a lot. And basically had an awesome time, in the sense that I was very "party" minded, reckless and careless back then. I was very open and euphoric for a long time after that. But realised this, even though its one of the most amazing and awesome experiences (the Psychedelic Experience), it is not something to be toyed around with.
A year later, I started growing my own Mushrooms. And Had some very interesting personality shifts and breakthroughs. I also discovered Ayahuasca, wrote a recipe after studying the subject of Shamanism, DMT, diet, preparation, effects, setting etc. etc. at length, and then made an awesomely powerful batch and drank it (by myself). This was eye opening, and I experienced it as a sort of initiation into the world of Spirit and Shamanism.
Unfortunately, my life was unbalanced, my personal relationships and living situation where less than ideal, I had dropped out of International Business and Management School, because I had realised that it was crushing my spirit, made me totally depressed and unhappy. Also, the state of mind I was in couldn't support the materialistic/business paradigm on which that study was based on any longer. I had a huge fight with my predominant single parent figure with whom I still lived together then. I became depressed once again and emotionally unstable after I got kicked out. That was close to two years ago.
I've since then gotten my life together on a sober basis, stopped all substance abuse (including an alcohol problem which had plagued me in my teens, and was causality for my pains suffered with my ex gf Marry Jane and all the over-indulgent behaviour). Started working out regularly, eating right, losing about 16kg's (first with a Paleo Diet, now, after having seen the amazing effects of a Vegan Detox in conjunction with Body Building, to a completely Vegan Diet), I picked up Meditation about two month's ago, and am up to about 1 hour a day basis. I also recently started practising Yoga. So basically, my life has become very Zen and Spiritual. I've also taken Ayahuasca twice this year, and I treated it with much greater respect and a totally different attitude than before. I also had some profound insights, and it helped shift my mood out of aimless, pointless, purposeless life and depression, to a deeper sense of Self, confidence, calmness and peace.
I now intend to do monthly sessions of Ayahuasca, together with my other self development practises, to purify myself on a deeper level and get rid of all the cultural/societal garbage and programming/imprinting that is left in me. I want to reach to top of the mountain, and build a temple there, where I may contemplate and meditate on the experience of my existence. I also intend to start growing mushrooms again, and planned to go to Hungary again this summer. All of it responsibly, all of it consciously, and all of it with great respect and humility (this time around).
This is my essay and experience with Psychedelics and I feel it also speaks for my attitude of open-ness and honesty, so I now ask for promotion to full membership, so that I may integrate into and learn as much from this wonderful space on the inter-webs as I can and in time contribute my own experience and knowledge.
So for the benefit, good and love of all.
Namaste