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Fear of breakthrough dissolves Options
 
Methodology
#1 Posted : 4/2/2014 8:04:10 PM

For Science!!!


Posts: 62
Joined: 24-Aug-2012
Last visit: 27-Jan-2021
Location: Limbo
Experienced this just over two weeks ago, wrote it on my phone:

Sitting there in my bathroom, I decided to take a small hit. As I hit, I had the idea of being scared to breakthrough (as I got farther through, my fear dissipated, I'm the kind of person that conquers fears and strives to be fearless).

I kept repeatedly looking into the drain of the tub, as small triangles started to appear from the edges of the door frame, it was very insignificant, nothing major. I closed my eyes, I saw a shadowy figure of a man (dark blue) and a woman (light blue) hugging each other off to the side. Eventually, the man reached out one arm towards me while still hugging the woman. I thought to myself, "how do I join them? I am over here and they are over there." Being in my line of sight, I thought it near impossible to manuver through my mind, at least even slightly to the right of where I sat. As I thought, I started to move towards them, in between them. I started to move down towards the female sexual area, not in an erotic way, but maybe to show me something of the power of the female mantra. As this happened, I opened my eyes, and decided to take another hit.

I saw a shadowy figure of a very large man sitting in the tub, although transparent, but there, as I watched as very Mayan symbols started to appear around the drain of the tub. I decided to keep hitting, each time visuals became more and more intense, symbols became more pronounced, and fluctuated at a more rapid pace. The floor mat in the tub began pulsing as if it was alive, as if the spirit was oozing in and out of the weaves and holes of it. The holes would go up and down, as the background kept changing in a bizarre optical illusion. I decided to close my eyes again.

I saw the man and woman briefly, as my vision shifted over to a very reddish orange menagerie of a rotating store of magazines. I could see the "other side" briefly (its kind of like a emulsive technicolor concentrating only on .1% of my vision), I always do, I'm extremely curious, I wanted to see it more, not just a little glimpse of a emulsion of light. As I tried to peer closer, I saw a door slam shut at the top of my CEV, as if i wasn't allowed to see what it was. I pondered about my friend who saw the aliens on the other side, and how he has a chosen animal nature, and wondered why am I not allowed to see?

I became infuriated at the time, and began an epic battle with the spirit, I was using my mental powers against its powers. It looked as if it was a dark starry night sky blue oozing out of a dark background, whilst overcoming all the brightly colored visions it produced. I thought to myself, "how can I win?". I started to remember my old dreams from past experiences/meditations as I tried to use them as a way to implement a stronger mental state. It was more or less, fighting a hallucination with your mind instead of going with it (as you should), it went both ways. The spirit came really close and covered a large portion of my CEV vision with its oozing darkness, but I managed to fight it off to get back to a colorful surrounding.

As I fought, I realized that there is no way I can win against something that only appears for a very limited period of time, and before I knew it, it was gone. I opened my eyes, and was very woozy, much more so, even from my most intense experiences. I felt like I was drained, dehydrated, tired. You know how if you come out of a tranced state too immediately it can have a soul displacement effect, I felt weird, groggy.

I remember just before awaking, I was standing in an area thinking about the spirit, what I would ask it, as it appeared imaginatively towards me (almost like a day dream), I perceived it as a slug of some sort. I stood in a room as the slug was portrayed as long and angled up a slope like an escalator, as I stood in front of the intenstine-like mess of jet black tentacles that poured out of the mouth of the slug, I asked questions. "Who are you? Why are you like this?" I heard a very strong powerful voice speak few words, but nothing explaining anything "I am like this because...", and before you know it, I can out of the mental state.

Afterwards, and even until now, when I wrote this, I forgot why I was even mad in the first place when I was having my CEVs, I was scared before, but now I really want to see that other dimension my friend had talked about.


 

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