Hello Nexans and viewers at large!
I would like to share the experience of my journey last night. To you who are trying to prepare yourselves by reading up: Please, be ready to let go!! Let it take you. ... It was an affirmation of the beautiful. And a reminder to practice sincere lovingkindness for the fact that if you are experiencing something as lovely as the DMT flash then you should be spreading that feeling and NOT the other stuff...!
I weighed out 40mg and placed some crushed bud at the bottom of my bong bowl, not alot, then covered it with ground bud just enough to not see any white. Smoked it in 3-4 hits. After the 4th, I do not remember setting the bong down. Only that for the first 10-30 seconds there was a sense of carnival and a diagonal array of "scary" clowns, within myself I said that if I must have a bad trip than that must be so. (So be it.) And was scared of the imagery.
Remembering my previous journey, I 'called' for the same female being that loved and laid me down in my 1st breakthrough. She returned and replaced the sense of the scary with awe, then within myself I was thankful, and remembered the intention of my trip, which was to see and meet the "elves who show you objects" Which I did!!. They were there briefly, then in the room of solid pearlescent orange gold liquid walls, there was a figure, in what looked like a Guy Fawkes mask (an image which I do not particularly identify myself with.) He was showing and teaching me, I remember audibly responding to the lessons "Yes, why yes, mhm, but of course, how else, yes, mhm, why yes, of course." The lessons were primarily of (and this is recurrent for me so far with this stuff): spread loving-kindness and don't be a jerk! Simple as that. I feel as if I would be totally fine not smoking DMT for several months.
My first breakthrough 2 weeks ago was astounding, although I did have some challenge accepting, understanding, and integrating it. I knew I must not rush to another breakthrough dose to try and 'see,' rather, I determined to try to piece together the previous experience 'sober'. It was very intensely personal, the first breakthrough, and the full details are more than I am comfortable sharing here. In reflection, it was a grand consolation of being rejected, used, and ignored by women many times throughout life. Something that doesn't bother me now as it used to. My girlfriend sat with me outdoors while I dosed. At once, as I was still sitting up, I came up very hard and began to be overwhelmed. I can't remember if my eyes were open or closed but I felt a woman looking into my eyes with her hand on the back of my head as she lay my head onto the pillow we had positioned beforehand. I was convinced as this happened that this person was my girlfriend. When I asked her about it later on she said she was rolling a jay as I laid down on my own haha. This being wrapped me in a cocoon of female sensations, those of comfort, the feeling of being cared for by a sincere and attentive nurse, however it was also unmistakably erotic. As if to say, "this is the feminine, and it loves you, and you love it." "Behold the purity, innocence, and beauty."
My personal credo as of the the last few weeks has been, "If herb is the healing of the nation, DMT is the recrystallization of the soul." I always come away with a sense of being processed through a refinery, the dross of my soul (the impurities) come to light very quickly after the onset and it is my duty then to cast this out to make way for the avalanche of beauty that is to ensue. Be kind! You are luckier than you think.