A buzzing starts
rising in tone and volume to an incredible intensity.
in the distance I heard a mechanical humming noise
the noise built up steadily
a loud, moderately high-pitched carrier wave.
a rising tone and feeling,
it opens up like a sunburst
vibrate in sympathy with this sound
vibrate in resonance to the sound
Immediately, vibrating in sympathy.
a sense of dropping away
all sorts of frequency modulations
crescendo staccato pops
This sound was quaveringly involved
with these visual architectonic dream waters
beginning to emerge, dripping and slipping amongst themselves
completely obscured by the visions.
my visual field dissolved in the most amazing colors
The patterns I knew of began to overlay
I sensed rising tension sweep over me
A bright neon yellow plane extended in front of me
like a screen, or patterned wallpaper
regularly placed motifs or artifacts animated or rotating about their axis
The first level is the region of incredible de- sign.
Multi-colored grids flexing and slowly twisting,
carnivals of colorful patterns,
little people peering through fences
You feel like you are deeply under water
I felt myself melting
around me fracturing into twisting
pinwheels of rainbow-colored light
an intelligent-looking fellow in a light grey suit turned to me.
with a benign expression of friendly sympathy
said, “You know you are too tired to be here.”
If there are any contradictions in you, it will manifest
physically, emotionally, and mentally.
You will be a little sick from this disease is psychosomatic
all my eyes could see were snakes,
fluorescent primitive snakes covered in dots
unbelievably congealed into a very clear representation of the elephant-headed Hindu god, Ganesh.
effectively a ‘door’ or ’gateway’ to another dimension,
now no longer so surprised at bumping into Ganesha
Obviously that was not my night to step through that door.
Somehow bumping into a snake-infested Ganesh had triggered
inner contentment within that bordered on the Sublime.
being the Lord of writers and scribes –
he is considered the Guardian of Gateways, or the Gatekeeper
demon or demigod was the guardian to the gate of higher knowledge.
the gatekeeper was my initiation.
encounters with teachers, all symbolic representations
an immanent state of realization of a higher order of understanding and interpretation.
DMT creates a well-spring into a type of infinite space
a heavy, trembling feeling swept over
being propelled
at the speed of light, expanding, expanding,
faster and faster until I no longer exist
speed so great that everything has to stop
here I gaze upon the universe
falling into this Kaleidescope of changing, morphing, intelligent,
geometrically sharp colored shapes.
the first flight of beautiful horror.
circular interlocking patterns in exquisite colors.
a vaulted ceiling or dome.
"chrysanthemum"
perhaps a mosaic of organic metal.
Somehow I passed through it and found myself in a space that seemed two-dimensional,
yet was all around me like a dome or sphere.
A kaleidoscopic array of shifting patterns scrolled across the sphere
Before me a huge carousel of somberly shaded purple, grey and blue lights
I felt a euphoric lift.
centered around patterns in perceptual streams
layers of depersonalized intentions behind perceptions
twisted, shivered and swelled into patches of rainbows.
some sort of autodeconstructive process
the stream of perceptions constituting my identity
somewhat frightening, but exhilarating
You break through into hyperspace
breaths or heartbeats seems like an eternity
I got to experience the transfigured subject
I inhaled,
the density of my body seemed to dissolve
I “popped” into the bright world of living geometry and infinite spirit
you will no longer be embodied.
free from the iron prison of matter
Tears of joy streaming down their cheeks,
the illumined billions
to see in every direction at once
it did so immediately
rushed upwards into superspace
a spun galactic ecology of stars
swarming hive of dragonfly constellations
part of the intergalactic information network
a vortex of intelligence extending as a supra-temporal field,
involving humans but not limited to them,
drawing objects and processes into a coherency which it arranges into information.
A FLUX of purposeful arrangement
living information, both human and extra-human,
a unitary complex of subsumations
pay attention.
These beings can show you amazing things,
Then were a lot of elves.
They were prankish, ornery
They commanded the scene,
They held up placards,
showing me incredibly beautiful, complex, swirling geometric scenes
They wanted me to look
glimpse entities moving in front of a giant complex
I fell through
a place where all dimensions were laid out,
open and percievable,
all at once
there were these gorgeous, shimmering,
pulsing, beyond intelligent beings of made of light
, mulling over them, as if they were objects.
They WERE objects. object dimensions
noticed me and uttered a shrill note of greeting and affection,
. Instantly they all swarmed to me
flooded through me
gorgeous, awesomely astounding things spewing forth from them,
and it made sense
trying to talk to me, to implore me to pay attention-
There are beings that are here the whole while
They seemed to have been waiting for me
They were very colorful,
had strange relentless grins,
very slender and could move at strange angles
high frequency quantized pulsing in which they moved,
still a very fluid flow to it
movements highly spiritual and esoteric
I felt like I was being indoctrinated
These beings just kept on grinning.
They knew that I knew
this was the price paid to enter their special world.
keen to show me their magic. I would try to look away
each time I tried, they would stop my breath and do some amazing transformation
magic which I simply can't describe
prevented by awe from looking away.
Solid forms of color and shape
beyond the geometric forms.
In your face.
kept on fanning out this magic
They knew this was the only place that I could experience it
Not even in memory
I couldn't take it back with me
going for it big time.
It was a really solid reality
but constantly changing.
tiny whispering voices creeping up
saying things like "Do you think he can hear us?"
"Should we surprise him?"
lots of giggling and shushing
I realized it was them,
the elves, the helping spirits, the hekura...
those mischievous little DMT spirits.
buzzing around the periphery of my vision
They began laughing and rolling around,
holding their bellies, and pointing at me.
The being, thin, multi-colored, with an unwavering grin,
its hands down my head controlling my breath.
My fingers began curling into spontaneous mudras
in conjunction with the grinning aliens
beings always dream-like and
very much imagination-born, I felt.
a river of geometry going past other beings in their street.
I was fighting
letting go of who I am or was.
The more I fought, the more demonic they became,
Probing into my being.
insect creatures all around me.
clearly trying to break through.
your psyche and your body reunited.
a flood of information rushes through your mind
One can only be told these things.
the Logos does the telling
The Logos assured that parity would be conserved,
the universe of light would be exposed
turning their eyes at last to the sky
finding a consolation they had never dared hope for.
The ideation flood subsides leaving you euphoric.
You still have the vibrations in your body.
a direct awareness of an overwhelmingly powerful and knowledgeable presence
neither frightening, nor encouraging.
just there. unbidden,
my head. was viewing 'god central.
everywhere you choose to look.
in this flower here, in that tree
in yonder animal.
it is not there at all
it is a vast intelligence
it is total harmonia and structure
how logically can it be all three?
Well, it is
I knew what was happening but it was so devastating
I was being destroyed—
all that was familiar, all reference points, all identity
viciously shattered in seconds
develop a love of the disordered & puzzling,
reality as a vast riddle to be joyfully tackled,
not in fear
with tireless fascination.
reality testing, a willingness to face the possibility of self-negating experiences
For a period of time I "died" –
my consciousness left my body,
and I spun through hyperspace
any thought of not
is washed away by the intensity.
simply annihilated.
thinking too much
no longer comfortable letting go
Maybe I never have been.
This is extremely important,
the phenomena of my consciousness
stereotypical and weirdly trite
that multicolored stew, underlying all perceptions
—making them swirl together
When the flows of sensation become interrupted,
patterns emerge that reveal intentions that are not my own.
That’s the origin of empathy
The problem of empathy is
The problem with things that aren’t me.
Just tapped in to that
immense energy, I held my hands
letting it flow through
into the earth.
I reached absolute clarity
I said to myself, "Let me go through you."
At that point opened,
I went out, into the universe
self-realization meant going deeper
I had to give up this exquisite layer of beauty.
We are becoming every new dimension unfolding,
living every possible moment and experience in less than a second
splashing through so many planes
, too much to ever bring back, each time
Deeper, though...Down, down... In and in.... Deeper
I asked myself, "Why am I doing this to myself?"
"This is what you've always been searching for.
This is what all of you has always been searching for."
ready to look at myself
I was the only obstacle in my path.
a vortex victim
a localized traveling discontinuity
a travelling whirl-wind of radical understanding haunting time
an idea that wants to be born
that longing to be born settles on a person
You are illuminated and maddened
lifted up by something beyond all telling.
It wants to be told
Those who grasp end up with the experience and their explanation
based on what they have read, seen and been told
certain reaches of thought, images,
certain lines of self not normally privileged,
come alive. The self begins to figure out
all consciousness is a matter of puppetry,
layers upon layers of perceptions and automatism coordinating
. These things were never meant for these
poor, blind, ugly organic beings,
on this rock in the middle of so much, so much
, unending nothingificating unconsciousness—
the oddity of the oddverse that isn’t so much me anymore.
Revealing that human personality is this tragically simple game,
of here’s the thing, now take it away.
I believed that I could transcend spacetime
any thought I had would instantly become reality.
time is not a linear river.
the Empire never ended.
Parallel universes is too simple to encompass what is going on.
The megamacrocosmos
a system of resonances, levels,
endlessly adumbrated fun-house reflections
. The colors were words.
I heard colors saying to me. "Go in. "
I was looking for God outside.
The beings and creatures have been curious and various
original and amazing,
never did I feel that they were strangers.
I recognized them immediately
These are our creatures
created by the infinitely capable creative force to teach us about ourselves.
mirrors that help us to look at ourselves, and remember
The voice that guided me I attributed to God,
the typical psychedelic voice I have always known;
my voice really, but attenuated, heightened,
in some sense torqued or spinning
completely convincing. As. it led me on,
the motion became tighter, enfolded.
like being tied into a knot of increasing density.
The nature of things became clearer and clearer
repeating to myself “I am many things.”
in myself the perceptions of a multitude
different entities were churning together
in a little whirlpool of a human mind
to unite me with the endless complexity
of the universe.
The spiritual reality
made of fractal patterns of animals
plants that twisted together and interlaced between all objects,
organic and inorganic
a huge, warping, prismatic fabric
weaving the universe together
God is in everything and
we are all connected, and
God dances in every cell of life,
every cell of life dances in God.
Time is a fractal, has a fractal structure.
All times have a pattern; the same pattern.
within which, upon which, events undergo occurring
~
The infinite regress of form
built out of forms of itself
built out of forms of itself
unto infinity. The principle of self similarity
real contradictions,
something being both true & not true.
The enigma is alive, aware of us, & changing.
partly created by our own minds:
we alter it by perceiving it, since we are not outside it.
our views shift, it shifts.
The euphoria goes on into eternity.
I am part of that eternity
filled with overwhelming love and sensuality
I experienced beauty more exquisite than I could ever imagine.
Perfect unity.
feel the wind of the Divine blowing through your soul.
you can catapult into the vastness of Godliness,
the highest fulfillment in life.
then the laughter of amused, ecstatic acceptance
It can't be figured out.
Love it in gratitude and accept
the brilliant illumination faded back to the three-d world
Reborn. Renewed. Radiant
with affection and reverence.