(July 23 2013)
As I write this report about three weeks after my first experience with this substance, many of the memories and feelings become more solidified in memory, however many of the details escape me daily. I'll try to be as through as possible with whatever I remember before it slips from me completely.
I really don't remember how DMT came up that day, before this event Mckenna lectures and bits of Joe Rogan or Alex Jones was all I was exposed to thus far. My friend "j" and I had been smoking a lot of weed together along with the neighbors recently and one sunny day he mentions that he has a spiritual oriented friend who can get us some of this DMT that we discussed. It came up in stoned mind wanderings occasionally and after watching "The Spirit Molecule" we were aboard. He went on to tell me about this guy.
Our guy warned everyone he shared it with "This is not a drug so don't treat it that way". He said we will see lights and colors and most likely feel some sort of connectedness with our surroundings. Now looking back he really didn’t give us any idea of what to REALLY expect. We told him we had learned enough to want to hunt it down, so he agreed to meet us and sort of show us the ropes. He does not sell it, he gives it away but charges a small fee for his time. He went on to describe how it's a useful tool for self-searching and meditation, forcing the standard world to the side ( more like out the door and down the road in my opinion). I took comfort in the fact that it wears off so quickly, I've had mushroom trips before where things get a little too weird too quickly, times I had wished that there was minutes not hours left in my journey.
We went halfsies on a small plastic flap of the typical orange colored crystalline powder. The flap was 1.5"x1.5" and half full. I wish I had an actual amount specified, for dosages and to measure my body tolerance perhaps. (note : With more recent usage I can estimate my first dose to be about 50mg , however with no prior practice I may have burnt it slightly) J had taken his chance to try it when the weather was nice and after a little mental preparation, he proceeded out to the woods on a friends property and smoked his total amount in a small glass pipe on some ganja. I've heard nature is great for the psychedelic trip, but also trying it indoors can be easier to control your surroundings (which I found plays a massive role).
We didn't have the time to discuss it yet the way he wanted to in person. He briefly stated that it was the most amazing and profound time of his life but that he forgets much of his cosmic lesson. He did however carry with him that it was in fact a lesson, that these unworldly objects and machine like displays were "shown" to him.
Skip three months forward to three weeks ago... (July 2nd 2013)
I had contemplated using my supply for a while doing ever more research nightly looking into all avenues of claims. Read spiritually themed reports as well as contact with entities or spirits, knowledge being transferred, and all sorts of OBE and near death related material. I would even talk about it with a friend I'm staying with for work purposes, and he eventually accidently talked me into it. "It only lasts fifteen minutes?... Smoke it right now!" In my mind I figured it was a great idea, but having an audience isn't my cup of tea. If it was anything like what I've read I'm not going to want to worry about looking messed up, or scaring the bejeezus out of my pal and his wife. I would calm myself down, clear my mind slowly, and take my medicine when the time was right.
I setup my laptop in the basement beside a door I can smoke out of, there's a child in the house and I didn't like the idea of weed and dmt smoke wafting about. I found some very calming meditation music on youtube with slight chanting and ohming over that synthesizer angel chorus effect. Throw in some raindrops here and there and you got a soundtrack ladies and gents! It was titled "relaxation meditation music relaxing nature..." It is 1:11:32 in length, and is perfect for gearing down pre-trip then blasting. My mind was calm and throughout the day the only things I had was food coffee and a couple joints, I filled up a small glass pipe with some very resinous ganja and just dumped all the powder right on top, the bowl was full but not squished in. Then I took a moment to observe how I felt beforehand, noticing the wood grain panels and various objects down there. Stuff like a kids rocking horse and a small glass coffee table were beside me with a window straight forward. My neck and back were stiff, and my work week was catching up with me. I felt half worn out and wasn't sure if I should wait until the following morning for full effect but I told myself just said do it, take a step inward you cannot be hurt.
So I’m sitting there and I don't know what to expect, like at all. Never before have I had full blown visuals, mostly warping walls and the whole everything looks a tad different. Mostly mild to strong mushroom trips. I started off with one huge haul starting with my lighter far back and bringing it in slowly. Within a second all the powder melted into the weed and it cherried up nicely. In an instant I became worried I was smoking too much so I stopped my draw and held it in, nearly forever. Upon exhale there was a slight tingle and blurry visual perception. I looked at the bowl and there was a big white tuft of smoke rising into the small concrete hallway in which I stood alone. "I'm wasting it" I thought to myself and quickly lit up the second toke. It burned very quickly and the weed on top didn't choke me at all. Staring at the crispy remains I knew I got most of it.
On my laptop I had my meditation music still going so all I had to do was sit down, plug in my headphones to the jack, and close my eyes. More difficult than I thought. Firstly within two seconds of my exhale I felt a stretching sensation in between my eyes with slight disorientation. There was a humming similar to what people describe and I sit down and plug my ears in right away. Before I could even close my eyes my mind started flying upward inside what felt like a tunnel extending out my brain and upward. It also felt like it was flying inward but it must have been one or the other. During this sensation I saw quick streaks along this tunnel, lights and different colors were blended in, if you could imagine it's like a multicolored waterslide tube on a bright day. Except your soul is projected not your pale body, and your trippin balls. I was astonished in this "phase" as they say, was like a warp speed to somewhere. Immediately a massive geometric pattern emerged across my field of view , I later realized that it was very familiar. This pattern was the flower of life and it expanded from the center outward exposing more pattern under or inside. I remember seeing this pattern before in videos and books but as it flew towards me in a white and neon color against a black background was entranced. I've heard people reporting of geometric patterns and designs, but why to me is truly bizarre. As soon as it came and went which felt like an instant, the most interesting feeling began. It felt like another tunnel flying session except the pressure in my eyes and my head created like a vacuum in my mind so to speak that along with the tunnel made it feel like stretching out or maybe jumping out?
In front of me started an incredible display. There was an orange colored spiraling fractal that started off very small but quickly spun and started growing in complexity and size. it spured off into five or six arms which spun quicker and became more complex themselves. As it got bigger and even faster. It was mainly orange and red but there was all colors of all intensities present. I looked at one of these growing "arms" where it was expanding and I could see even more detailed fractal. By looking at it I understood that the light was energy and wisdom. Not based on what I saw , just by observing and being in the presence of it. I hear a deep low almost throaty chant or ohm very close to a group of monks or other group without sounding human based. It was steady and got quite loud as the fractal spiral got larger. I’m really not sure if it was actually in the music track I had playing but since then I haven’t been able to find the same noises playing it again.
At this point in the game I was actually very scared. I couldn't comprehend what the hell was happening. The stretch feeling combined with this profound imaging was throwing me for a loop. If it was slower or perhaps less intense in its detail and colors I might have felt better. The rate in which it progressed was the overwhelming part mainly. I thought to myself the classic " I've taken too much , this is BAD" but snapped out of it right away because I was able to get my mind together temporarily and open my eyes.
When I cracked my eyes open and shot them across the room there was a very bright haze all around the window in front of me. I didn't see any weird overlay or fabricated visuals but a shaky and blurry appearance to everything , only at different rates. The rocking horse was shaking up and down and the table left to right. The window coming inward and out slowly. The blurryness got me to close my eyes again as I was convinced to be on Earth in this basement once more.
The next little presentation stood out from the whole experience in the fact that it was very worldly. In front of me again in a large black void space with a painting right in the middle. It's not moving or warping at all it sits completely still in absolute silence. It's a large oil painting of a slightly heavy oriental gentleman dressed in old military uniform. The time period was tough to figure it seemed almost confederate with brass buttons running up the middle and a crisp collar is all I remember. The clothing was a darker green gold color and the entire picture had a gold or sepia tone to it, even the frame itself was dark gold in color. He had that straight faced general look everyone had pre 1960 in pictures and in his hands were two odd looking instruments. These tools as they appeared were very close to a square and level. One object was flat and had a 90* angle with two golden knobs or dials. The other was flat with lined details running upward towards the handle running off the bottom. This was very odd, why a painting? Why the tools? And why did it sit there still for what felt like five minutes?
The painting started getting shaky like my open eye perception and suddenly I felt a slight muscle twitch in my left shoulder which felt like someone tapping me on the back. I thought about the others in the house and quickly shot around to look behind me. I felt them within the house, including the dog Winnie but saw nothing but the room objects. I figured they might be right there , and I might be so messed up that I can’t tell. So for some reason I involuntarily start nodding yes, and giving a thumbs up. I had a vision of them seeing me twitching not knowing what was happening. Fading in and out was a concrete or stone structure that had columns along the front and a triangular roof like the old Greek buildings you can visit. Not moving around just still. This quickly went away as I let out a short gasp for air. I was surprised to realize I forgot to breathe.. It made me nervous for a minute thinking I'd better pay attention or I'll surely die!
I opened my eyes again to see the wood grain panels lit up and glowing a bright gold color from the actual grain pattern. It was a wonderful moment to see the walls glow all around me and even my legs and feet had a light to them pulsating slightly. It was a lesson section, It felt like a thousand lectures on energies and life force and connectedness. I felt like there was an understanding of something I was completely oblivious to prior. This was the strong point when it came to my open eye visuals. I was probably 80% through it at this time and felt a cold calmness in my body, more comfort that I was "coming back".
Feeling it slip away I wanted to see what else there was available to explore, I once again leaned back and my display came back very quickly to the black void. I call it display because throughout the whole thing I felt a female presence almost like my face was up against an Ipad and there was a woman inches away holding it in my face. Immediately there was a massive concrete structure, very similar to a Jax brand metal toy (with extensions pointing towards me, away, left and right, up and down). It was spinning at a very calm pace and appeared to have doorways and windows throughout. There was also a mass of moving objects mostly towards the center, many of them appearing to be parts of this spinning, floating complex of sorts. My depth perception zoomed out and this structure became smaller in my field of view. Either shrinking or moving away from me. The black faded to a purple and bluish sunset across a mountain range and the sky was a light blue like during pre-dawn. There couldn’t have been a more serene credits screen to wrap this all up and help me absorb the many many impossible things I just witnessed. I was still nodding yes and quietly saying thank you again and again and slowly over the sky but cut off slightly appeared a large typical grey alien head... Yes grey alien head. Usually the iconic grey alien would strike fear and paralysis into someone witnessing it, but this time it was more of a realization. I really wasn't thinking of aliens or other entities before or during my trip so it stood out to me as genuinely there. There was a slight dejavu to looking at its eyes, it was very typical but still unfamiliar. I don't know if it's a good idea to assume that the head was the female presence I was feeling but there wasn't any other entity or presence throughout the trip, and having seen it during the end of the wrap-up portion leads me to believe perhaps the being on the other side of it decided to show itself to me (or at least a specific perception or embodiment)
I've got a bit of experience in the substance field, dabbling and testing throughout teen years and eventually discovering all sorts of self-medication. From marijuana and extracts, to harder opiates and synthetics. In the hallucinogen field which I don't really believe DMT falls into fully, I've had numerous mushroom trips and a solid acid experience strong enough to deter me for now. These trips however I don't group together. I would describe DMT as more of an altered alertness. Like tapping into some other wavelength high above our own. Someone once said it was "connecting to an intergalactic information network" and that feels pretty correct. If you've never done DMT before you really couldn't understand any of this report, I tried to be descriptive but every bit of this experience was indescribably profound, intensely genuine, and beautifully true.
Since this day my life has changed. I KNOW there is more to life and our existences, I KNOW there’s an afterlife where we are truly free, and I KNOW that this egotistic, materialistic capitalist lifestyle we live is utterly false and unimportant. I know there’s much more to life and we're all in it together. If anyone has seen similar visuals including crazy fast tunnel portions or slow calm displays of structures and sculptures please comment. It was very strange to jump back and forth between two completely different realms, especially as a result of distractions and overwhelming moments. Thanks everyone for reading! Peace n Love!
Tonytone
Tonytone is a fictional conglomerate of everyones hopes, dreams, and nightmares. Everything he says is a lie.