"At first I noticed the surface of things begin to shift as they do with other psychedelics. Then the patterns became much more unique and refined than anything I had ever seen. It was as if the visuals were natural and ancient, beholding them was similar to the experience of remembering. Quickly i became aware of a force, or many forces, trying to frame an object for me. It kept holding it in front of my vision. It said with my thoughts: "look at this, look into it, can you see the complexity that awaits inside? Go into the complexity." I was afraid, curious, flattered and confused about what to do with this invitation. I don't know if it even was an invitation or if they were just trying to show me the box itself. It looked like it was a cluster of super dense machinery, but also had the feeling of being a portal. I didn't end up going in. I don't know if I could have, or if I was supposed to. The forces didn't seem to mind. It was like they knew I was new and didn't want to scare me.

Next I felt a sensation as though my life was being read or somehow scanned by something. I opened my eyes and could see a psychedelic piece of art I had made on the wall across the room. Whatever was scanning me used my thoughts to say something to the effect of, "this is so darling and funny." Then I was overcome with waves of beauty and wisdom. It was like my primitive human artifact pleased something in the DMT. It was perhaps like what a mother would feel seeing a drawing their child had brought home from school. It felt deeply nurturing and maternal. I remember feeling intense gratitude that this was possible, it made me feel like life is a long road and to appreciate every second of it. Then this mother force began pumping me with deep beautiful revaluations about the cosmos. I felt so humble.

At a certain point the subject of these revelations drifted to the darkness of human beings and what we are doing to the planet. Then I looked down below me and could see a dark path into a scary place. It was slippery, like I could fall in but not hard to resist. I felt as though the mother spirit wanted me to see it but she was also protecting me from it. As with the complex machine portal I had been shown earlier, I opted not to go in. That's when I realized I was coming down from the trip. For the next 45 minutes I sat there trying to describe what I had experienced into my tape recorder.

While this is undoubtedly one of the most profound things I have ever experienced in my life, I don't think I experienced the breakthrough level that others describe. The whole time I was relatively aware I was sitting on my couch. I could open my eyes and see things. I was experiencing a lot of what I've read about, but not in a completely overwhelming sense. I remember thinking how worthy of respect this experience is and feeling thankful that I wasn't pushed any further.

I decided I would wait a while before going back, but five days later I found my curiosity unbearable and decided to do it again. I felt OK, maybe like I was rushing it or being hasty, but I was in a generally good mood and anxious to see what else I could learn. The trip started the same, it felt like I awoke something. It showed me it's patterns. This time I tried chanting a mantra. I could feel the geometry of the experience processing my mantra, it started playing with it and shifting the pitch. I actually have a recording of this which is pretty trippy. I could feel the same kind of scanning as before but this time it was followed by a really strict disapproval of me.

I had been in an argument with my partner earlier in the day and I could feel forces within the trip kind of taking the side of my partner. I'm not sure but it was almost like I was seeing a different side of the same cast of characters. The lessons were not chaotic or hard to understand but it was not enjoyable. It was like being reprimanded. However, the experience really did show me that I had been wrong in the argument. I felt so sorry to my partner and apologized later. I also in a way feel sorry to the DMT.

I know that there is so much I don't understand but feel as though something in that world assesses your state of life as an offering. If you bring baggage it responds accordingly. If anyone has any wisdom that can help me process any of this I would really appreciate it."