Literally. I wish to express the way that DMT has made me view life as a trip. Or where words can hardly describe, a description of what I see will suffice.
I've had a life of up and downs, as has everyone. The experience really isn't all that unique, but it's the details that strike me.
As a man, in my late twenties, and two times divorced, it's easy to get depressed. Although I appreciate that being lonely is part of the human condition, it sucks nonetheless. I met a girl at work today. I stepped way out of my comfort zone and offered her my number. Where it becomes fuzzy is that she was a patient, and I a caregiver so to speak. We talked for a while, she laughed and played with her hair. In my mind I either assumed that I am merely pretending that she is attracted to me, which has always stopped me from approaching. Since having done DMT, there is a strong voice that comes from the gut. I used to be such an introvert but circumstances have forced me to talk to strangers. This girl had my attention immediately, the way she walked and talked. It's amazing how the thought starts in my head, and builds like a fever. I was uncomfortably nervous in a way every time I was around her, I was hyper aware of everything I said, and the posture of my back. Every sense was heightened. I escorted her to her room and brought her a "warm" blanket which was actually kinda cold. I lost courage. I had control of the situation and had her alone for a few seconds long enough to slip her my number. But as the routine goes, I turned feet and walked. The voice in my head teared me apart, so I headed back with a genuine warm blanket in hand marching to her room. I walked in and offered my number to which she appeared happy to accept. This girl was a bombshell, beautiful, in a blind to faults kinda why that usually takes place at the beginning of relationships. I walked out holding my head up and and finished my night at work with great delight. She was smart, and generally a joy to be around. For reasons I cannot share, she is going to maybe call or text me on Friday. I am not getting my hopes up, because I am usually socially weird but I thought I did pretty well and keeping the conversation going, she was actively asking me questions and we had a definitive back and forth chemistry between us.
Before DMT, my mind would be stuck on this woman like a zombie on some brains, it would drag me around and make my mood on Friday center around whether or not I got a call. Since doing DMT however, I analyze the situation and can't stop laughing. Work was awesome, talking to that girl, if even for a half an hour, was a lot of fun. In addition, she improved the rest of my night by genuinely being a nice person to me. DMT has taught me to enjoy the moments I have, and tonight was a very enchanting experience. It's like you can taste the endorphans and other love chemicals flooding my brain in the presence of this beautiful girl. I really do hope we at least go out to lunch, but if she doesn't call that is her decision, but I'm letting it be known that tonight was one hell of an ordinary night.