Alright friends. I wasn't really sure where this post would belong, so Open Discussion it is. I spend most nights working into the early morning, furthering my research. I currently have several unfinished projects in the works, all of them fairly time consuming. Tonight, I have this young woman calling and texting me constantly, practically begging me to pick her up. Honestly, I would rather stay home and put a few more hours into my research. Am I addicted to chemistry, choosing science over sex and affection? Am I destined to the lonesome, solitary life of the clandestine alchemist? I mean, not to say I'm not OK with that...

I have explained to this young woman that I am very busy, and if she wants to spend time together we have to plan ahead of time. Also, apparently she's intoxicated, and I have explained numerous times how I feel about being around drunk people.

I would love to hear from anyone who can relate to my situation, or really anyone who feels like adding their thoughts on the matter. Thanks for reading.

Sex doesn't have to be a priority over everything.

I guess she's just not someone you're really into.. If it was a very special girl you were in love with, you'd go. So as long as you prefer doing something else, then do something else (though try not to hurt her feelings in the meanwhile)

I immediately had to think of this:


hehehe...sorry for that one. Do what you think is right, but don't forget that a little fun now and then may be...well...uhm...fun.

Sorry mate I have no sympathy for guys who get called by girls who fancy a roll in the hay(can you sense the jelousy )

Hahaha, awesome pic. Yea, I definitely leave time for fun, I just really don't feel much interest in her. I kind of feel like I have been as straightforward as I can possibly be without being rude or disrespectful. I really don't want to hurt her feelings, but I'm starting to feel like nothing else is going to get through to her.

I'm certainly not fishing for sympathy. And trust me, this isn't something that happens often. I just don't enjoy sex without any emotional connection. At that point it's just rubbing flesh together with no actual substance behind it. When that's the case, I'd rather be doing something I have some passion for.

I think doing things you have passion for is the most important thing you can do, I think your doing the right thing.

If you are not up for it then your"e not up for it. Don"t feel bad but don"t be rude to her. Try telling her that you are currently impotent due temporary psychological problems.

I can relate to this problem as i have young girls ringing and texting me almost every week.

It has got so bad that i have had to make a a set of pie charts that measure each different girls qualities- ie personality, voluptiousness, quality of eyes, whether they are single etc. Each week, depending on my mood, i study my charts and decide on which girl that i will entertain for a few days.

Maybe you could do the same thing. Design some sort of mathematical or scientific system that measures this girls desirability on a variable scale and study it each day in relation to another chart that measures your sexdrive and desires for each day. That way you could could incorporate your love of science with the sex, or lack thereof.

Something tells me that perhaps there's a hint of sarcasm buried deep in this post somewhere... Although, I do like the idea of telling her that I am currently impotent due to temporary psychological problems.

God this made me laugh so hard.

Seriously. This has worked in the past for me and it was not entirely untrue. At the end of the day, if i am not that into someone it sometimes renders me tempoararily impotent. You will also gain respect for your candidness.

When i was quite a bit younger, a girl hit on me in a bar. She was very drunk and quite loud but her vibrancy appealed to me. We went back to her place and went to bed. Then she put on a soft rock love ballad on the stereo. Due to my musical narrowmindedness at the time, this rendered me completely impotent for the duration of the night.

Every once in a while we would see eachother in the street and there would be an awkward exchange of pleasantries. I was sure that she was thinking "there"s that grubby hippy who couldn"t get it up while listening to Foreigner". But perhaps her real thoughts were "this man thought i was not attractive enough for a meaningless one night stand".

Not a good state of affairs. We are all sensitive souls and good communication can help alleviate certain problems. Nevertheless i was temporarily impotent. These things happen.

Quality reply hug46, quality.

Thankyou 3rdI. I think it is very important for us to help and advise eachother in these sensitive matters. Sometimes the ways of love and sex can be very complicated.

If science gets the lead in your pencil flowing more than the potential for a night of passion, I'd say stick to formulas and await one who's requests cannot be ignored (basically what endlessness said lol)..

Hug46 is defo on point imo (Seems it would be best to be doubted for something that didn't happen, rather than doubted over what was attempted) lol

I'm going to be the voice supporting the opposing side.

I appreciate you have intellectual interests, as do I. But they can wait. The science will still be there even if you take a day, a week or even a year off. Really, that can wait too. I know you're enthused about it now, but these things grow and wade quite easily. The particular opportunity you have now may not come again. So act on it. Live in the now. When you interact with and enjoy the life of flesh you are making the most of this life.

Her feelings matter too. Don't get so involved in your intellectual discourse that you ignore the real world (consensus reality, at least). It is worth more than you may imagine.

Who knows, you might learn or gain something special. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Good luck.

I got the impression the poster was not interested in person making these advances.. Each to their own but I don't personally tend to go round getting with women I have no attraction too.

My personal feelings are that when you have sex with someone you are participating in a form of transference, sharing a part of each others life energies. Again I could well be off base on that one but it's how I perceive sexual intercourse.

When considering the other persons feelings I think it is maybe important to contemplate how sex often amplifies feelings and can go either way. Have to good of a time and those occasional texts could multiply, have too bad a time and your conscious might end up deliberating its own failures when bumping into previous flings (or even their friends/peers etc). Then again you may have your socks rocked and find your own feelings change.. Oh what a tangled web indeed lol

If I have read the OP wrong in his overall attitude towards this then I stand corrected in my own line of thought and simply say "go for it" chap.

Then again, for all I know the overall purpose of life could be as basic as to transfer these energies. I just go with what I feel is right by me (pretty much what we all do to some degree or another). Doesn't seem to ring true to me but if I learned one thing on here (outside of Max Ion tek) then it is to avoid thinking in absolutes. I hope my comments have not seemed to be in this vein.

There"s nothing wrong with your comments..

Shenzi makes good points. For me, regret over missed opportunities has been a real bugbear. But is it worth getting involved with someone who you are not really interested in? Or perhaps the possible emotional car crash as result of getting involved with this person could be a beneficial part of learning about human interactions.
I still say stick with the pie charts or maybe a venn diagram where you study where your needs and her qualities intersect. But iv"e cocked up more relationships than iv"e had hot dinners.

Since our culture tells us that sex has to take precedence over everything, you are acting against the common way of life. You are a rebel and independent. Girls dig that so they want it even more. It's a vicious cycle. I suggest o "give it to her" at least every once in a while to keep her busy, and allow yourself some quality study time.

Nothing is perfect!

LOL @ Hug.. I have to agree, my previous relationships have no doubt tainted my past bias towards waiting while choosing to participate in other endeavors. I was celibate for just under 3 years because of said experiences..

Indeed, had it not been for those prior experiences (that could in essence have the same foundation as the quandary offered by the OP) then I would not have the experience in my mind to make such a choice now..

Ya gotta love the nexus. Pretty much no matter the subject you will still no doubt find a smorgasbord of responses that are all pretty much equally valid, all the while sitting in varied angles of perception..

"Ya win some ya lose some, but you live, then you live to fight another day" might be a good way to ponder over this...

Or just pull a Harvey Dent and let fate decide hehehe.

I once heard a song with the following sample:



Sticks in my head since then.

Sample is from Satan by Orbital



Ahhh the memories