Hi guys, i'm 18, have been taking Psychedelics since November 24th. Since then i've done LSD 6 times, mushrooms 4 times. Spice twice. The first time i did spice was just for a little bit of exploration, test the waters i guess, i had a small amount, everything went warped and i could hear the cosmo crickets. Yesterday (Saturday, 29th June) i got on Changa. I probably shouldn't have smoked it, because i had to leave for work at 5 and it was 3pm. I also had to do some running around, and got pretty stressed trying to scrape up some money for a jetlighter plus trying to get to my dealers house which was taking too long because of traffic. So by the time i got to mine, made a placky and set up the changa, i was rushed for time and in the back of my mind, knew it wasnt the right time to smoke.

Anyways i took my first hit, it was pretty big i probably smoked 3/4 of the cone. I put the bong down, waited about 10 seconds, then hit it again, this time just having a smaller toke. I didn't break through. The spiritual guardians didn't let me, its as if they told me I rushed into this situation, that i needed to treat it with a more spiritual goal, such as holding a ceremony before giving it a go. I ended up getting pushed back into my chair, and a huge bang of red light overwhelmed my closed eye visuals, it felt as if i was getting pushed through something, maybe that was me going through hyperspace but not breaking through? Anyways, i opened my eyes, and time had literally frozen, i looked at my girlfriend and she was completely still, looking at me, covered in aztec patterns, they're was something next to me in my peripheral vision but i didn't look. By the time the experience ended, i was astounded by how quickly i began tripping and how powerful, sacred and beautiful the experience was.

However, i was left with some questions. Firstly, when the guardians told me now was not the time, did they mean am i not ready, or have this is bad timing. I question this because when i was thrown into the experience, i was somewhat scared of what was going on. Amazed, but still there was fear within me. Is that normal?
I also felt as if there was something deep inside me that needed to be let out, i dont know whether or not i have an ego, i trip and it feels as if there's something that i need to recognise, but yet haven't, thats why i am doing dmt, to find out what it is that keeps me from being 100% my own person. I feel im 95% the way there. Anyways, if anyone could just give me a few tips on how to recognise your ego and take action against it, it would be much appreciated, as well as just a few tips on how to prepare your mind for a break through. Or are you always a bit anxious the first few moments of the trip? Thanks

If you're keeping an eye out for your ego/superego, listen for the verbal thoughts (that are "yours" ). The thing to do is just let it do as it pleases actually. Just let your mental processes unfold. Don't resist the thoughts. Don't try and combat or quiet them, just allow everything to do as it will. A lot of times in some of the deepest experiences I've had, the beginning is often accompanied by very chaotic running thoughts. This seems to be something of a natural phase to pass through. Don't be formulating too many questions or making too many comments - that is the ego - your verbalizations. Simply keep your focus on your vision, pay attention, and don't resist.

The ego actually has several definitions. I recommend looking into CG Jung and his breakdown of the parts of consciousness, subconscious & ego.

The chatter in your head is just window dressing, a recent study showed that we make decisions 4-7 ahead of when we actually 'think' we make them. Pick a color, red or blue.. by the time you think blue its way past your subconscious decision.. cool eh. So the trick is listen to your feelings, try to figure out where they are coming from and how to get your subconscious to work for you.

Your ego is generally not there to help you, if you think you can drive a car better than most or think you can fight effectively without actually testing yourself its ego driven. Go into a jiu jitsu club and get beat up by a girl, you will soon be checking your ego at the door regardless.

The dmt experience i believe lifts the cover off the inner workings, your seeing the sea of your subconscious exposed. They say the subconscious is a million times more powerful than your conscious, hence the overwhelming and extraordinary experience.