Hello Nexus!
Some might recognize me most of you wont.
I havent been very active for a long time, The reason for this is becuase
I dont feel that i need to share my experiences since there are more
experinced members with in my opinion more valuable info already writing.
Also I havent been travelling very much the past year.
I have felt a steady decline of interest in the travels and this is
the reason for this post.
I want to share this and see if anyone feel the same or have any input in this.
I started this "quest" for enlightment and self improvement becuase i had
just learned alot about myself and the so called reality we live in,
So naturally as when you start opening your eyes for something
I was full of questions and hungry for more information.
The past year i have felt that i dont have as many "eye opening" experinces
as i used to. I still enjoy travelling and exploring consiousness tho its more
a fun ride then that i learn so much from it.
It sort of feels like ive reached almost a point where im so confident and rooted
in my beliefs of how the world around me, the universe and my life is.
Instead I have been longing for love for a long time and recently i have actually
found it. She is alot older then me and has done psychedelics before
like 10 years ago so she knows alot of what iam talking about but
at the same time she doesnt seem to have had the spritually awekening thru them
as i have had. She had them thru praying, giving birth and reading the bible tho.
She frequently says you sound like a christian believer when you explain your beliefs.
She is christian, very religious and actually shes a gipsy so shes been reading
hands, dreams and cards since she was young. Im still learning alot about their
culture wich in my opinion is very two faced and splitted up but this woman is
very very different from her own family for example.
Anyway since we started to see each other we have had deep deep spiritual conversations,
I know i have changed her alot and she has changed me to. I have quit smokeing cannabis
and she have quit takeing sleeping pills wich she have been addicted to the last 13 years
becuase she has been extremily deprest in an earlier marridge.
Now both of us are happier humanbeeings then ever before.
The point of this post is that i have found my new drug of choice.
It is called LOVE these few months i have been sober but still learned more about
myself about life and about my own spirituality then i have ever before.
It feels like i have started my new journey, by thinking about creating family and building
up myself and even building up another humanbeing. I have always had a gift
for listening, talking and helping others but never in my life have I
helped someone like i did with this woman.
I dont know, it feels like im just babbling right now and doesnt really get what
I want said out there.
I guess with beeing sober and thru love and conversation I have started to
develope once more and just wanted to share this!
Thanks for reading love and light!