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First breakthru. after a long night... also, are chakras real? Options
 
LiberationSauce
#1 Posted : 4/30/2013 9:16:11 AM

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Greetings, fellow earth-dwellers. Smile

I've been using psychedelics for the past 8 years, with hundreds of experiences, but I never really felt the need to write a trip report until this specific trip I had, which still gives me goosebumps and actually has me feeling a bit uncomfortable when i try to remember it... I had smoked dmt 30 times or so, but I had never had the sense that I left my body or the surrounding 3-d physical reality at all... only expereinces that seemed to hint at a 'deeper' or more subtle level of reality...

This trip was definitely different. One thing that i find extremely curious was how low my dosage was compared to my usual experiences. I had loaded about 60-70 mg (eyeballed) into a regular herb pipe, on top of some ganja, and let my partner, "A" smoke the first three big hits off of. I took the remaining hit, not expecting to feel much, and I didn't seem to get much smoke in my lungs...

Also worth mentioning was that this was done in the morning after a long night of tripping on quality LSD, then pure MDMA, and then a bit of ketamine... (we were at a music festival hehe... this is not normally how I roll) By this time however, I was not feeling very high on anything. Colors seemed a bit brighter than usual, but i wouldn't have said that I was 'tripping'.

So we go by a small stream with lots of pebbles and nature around us. We can still hear the bass of the music in the background, but there is no one within 40-50 yards of us, and the nearest stage is about 100 yards away, so I felt this was a safe place to journey from.

we sit and get comfortable. I load the bowl. we sit for 5 minutes in silence and breathe deeply. Then my friend takes three rather large tokes from the bowl. Then he hands it to me. I take a small rip and hold it for a long time I don't really even remember exhaling.

I don't remember having any 'come-up' feelings. no buzzing sensations or others... It seemed that I just popped right over to another reality entirely. Now that I'm writing about it, i'm remembering how stupid it is for me to try to explain it in words, but i really feel i want to have some record of this, so here goes...

First of all, there was no 'me' with all of my story and drama and baggage.as far as i knew, there had never been a 'me'. though some semblance of a witness must have been present, as I do remember certain things about the experience. This realm did not have the same laws of physics as the realm we are used to. This realm was densely packed with objects of some sort... richly saturated, brilliant colors. Everything was multiplying, transforming, disingigrating, and changing form in so many other ways, so unbelievably rapidly. I remember feeling pretty horrified at what I was seeing... I don't know how to explain it, but it seemed like I had been in this 'place' forever. And I thought I would never leave. I remember feeling/thinking something along the lines of 'how could this possibly be? how could this just... go on forever like this?' At the time i wasn't sure if there was any place i had even come from, or if there was any place other than this that i would return to. I remember feeling like i couldn't handle this forever. And the thought that this reality existed at all, let alone with its constant cycle of apparent creation and destruction. (shortly after i opened my eyes the thought crossed my mind that if i stepped outside of time or could see the universe with time sped up enormously, this is how 3-d reality would appear... just a rapid-fire cycle of creation and destruction... and lives being lived endlessly, incarnation after incarnation... this felt very distressing and made me feel a bit hopeless) Another memorable occurance during this time was that while I was in total shock at what I was witnessing, i seemed to feel as if either my own self, or some other being was trying to calm me down. I specifically remember feeling like i was being told 'it's okay'... And i had the distinct feeling that I was witnessing something that was true. Something that was fundamental to the nature of reality, but being in shock, this being, or my own (higher?)consciousness was trying to comfort me, almost understanding my confusion and horror, letting me know that this is 'how it is' and not to worry about it... I wish I could remember more about my closed eye portion of the experience other than it was totally alien to anything i could have ever imagined. T. Mckenna talks about how at some point in your journeys, you will come across things that you could not have pulled out of your subconscious. Things too bizzare and unthinkable that there's no memory or distortion of memory that this could have possibly come from... in so many words. this definitely applied.

I heard my partner ask "Are you okay"? and I opened my eyes. (I later found that i did not appear to be okay, as i was hyperventilating and had a disturbed look on my face... I definitely felt disturbed by what I had seen!)

This part was actually more intense and soul-shattering than the witnessing of that other apparent dimension. The process of opening my eyes in the middle of that trip makes absolutely no sense to me now. And I feel that my memory shut down because i don't remember much, and I wonder if this is because it was so insane that there was just no frame of reference for it... I don't know how else to explain this. Within the time from hearing my partner's voice to opening my eyes was the most intense experience of my life, and I thought I'd had quite a few peak, spiritual, experiencing the Fractal All, God, etc moments... lol... Again i'm so at a loss for words that there almost is no point in trying...

I can't really explain what happened, visually, but i can explain how it made me feel. I felt as I would have felt if i opened my eyes and everyone, my partner included, had been physically turned inside out with blood and guts everywhere. (try to imagine how that would FEEL! lol) There was this process of being spat out from this other place and watching 3-d reality fall apart and be turned into something so rich and complex and mind-blowing... truly mind-blowing... Everything was exploding with energy and color, my own body included... I dont mean that everything had kalaedescopic rays of patterns eminating from them.. I mean everything was quasi dematerialized and not in its correct form. And in between all of the pieces of everyone and everything were forms reminiscent of the reality i had just experienced with my eyes closed.

For the past few years I had spent a decent amount of time reading about 2012 scenarios, specifically involving 'Ascension' to 5-D, Extraterrestrials and ascended beings, and the like... In the moments after I opened my eyes, i TRULY believed, to the core of my being, that I had actually made a new universe and woken up into it. Then I thought, "I must have ascended. this must be 5-d" I could hear music and the party and it made sense that in this new universe there would be huge parties in beautiful naturescapes (though everything still looked very alien and complex)... i thought this for a full minute or so until i looked down at the floor in front of me and saw my pipe and lighter... then I remembered that I had smoked DMT... I was in disbelief, for a few more minutes, about the fact that a drug could have caused my experience... at the very least, i thought, the dmt just facilitated my ascension to this new paradise, which was still a very real fact to me lol...

Eventually the trip began to wear down and more and more of my memory of being at the festival, and having smoked dmt, settled back in. I asked 'A' how his experience was... He claimed that he got nothing more than mild "acid-like" visuals.... This left me truly perplexed as I saw him smoke at the very least three times as much as me. And he had taken the exact same dosage of other party favors as I had the previous night.

This got me thinking that there really might be something to the idea that one must be "ready" to experience a breakthrough rather than it depending solely on a successful administration of a certain dose. I had been practicing yoga and meditation regularly for 5 years at this point, and had about a dozen times as many psychedelic journeys as my partner (dmt and 95% of my psychedelic exploration came before I began yoga). More recently, 'A' and i engaged in a mushroom trip, 5 grams each, and again, i experienced very deep, elaborate geometric kalaedescopic opened and closed-eye visuals with bright lighted colors, while he reported a much more mild visual component to his trip... reporting only slight distortions in objects and slight dark patterns with eyes closed.... I wondered if all of this work made me, or my nervous system or my soul or whatever, more ready to receive certain visions... I remember many years back, before I had begun my yogic path, when I was with my previous partner who was extremely artistic, imaginative, and very intuitive, how he could take a single dose of LSD and be bouncing off the walls experiencing complex kaleidoscopic imagery, whereas it would take me several times more to have the same experience. I wonder if the chakra system is more than just a metaphor for the different dynamics and levels of the human experience. Could my previous partner have had a naturally open third-eye chakra? Could all of the inner work I had done over the years opened my third eye? I don't really know, but these things do weigh considerably on my mind when I recount these experiences.

The 30 or so times I had smoked DMT, I could never have anything resembling what others described as a 'breakthrough'... even when I would pack two to three times as much as my friends would smoke to break through, and carefully vaporize it all...


Anyways, this trip was a magnificent one, and has changed the way I look at DMT entirely. I already knew that it was powerful, but I had no idea the depths that it could take me to... When I used to smoke dmt back in the day, i had a more casual approach to it. I had no problem smoking it a few times a week... Now i feel a deep respect for the experience and it is not something I would recommend to most people. I dont think i could handle more than a few trips a year now, though everything is subject to change. Pleased

one more thing worth mentioning. After the experience, I definitely wondered how much of the mind-blowingness of it was due to any mix of the other chemicals i had taken the night before. Much more recently, the first time since this trip i am writing about(8 months ago), I smoked a small amount of dmt and it took me back to that same place, and gave me the same type of feeling...

who knows...

Namaste, brothers and sisters!!! <3!
लोकाः समस्ताः सुखिनो भवंतु
Lokah Samasta Sukhino Bhavantu

May all beings everywhere be joyful and free from suffering, and may the thoughts, words, and actions of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and to that freedom for all.
 

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#2 Posted : 4/30/2013 9:50:18 AM
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Excellent, and well written report LiberationSauce Smile

Now take what you experienced, and multiply that experience endlessly, for that is how much crazier the experience can get. It's literally infinite in it's approach, always able to become more intense.

When your ready, DMT will turn up the knob a bit, in the hopes that you will be able to handle whats about to be shown. As a vetted member here has said.. "DMT waits until your comfortable then..".

And the other chems probably had a slight edge in the experience, but I can assure you that most, if not all of the experience you experienced was ultimately due to the randomized, intense nature of DMT. It's just that crazy.

Horrifyingly beautiful isn't it? Wink Tat Tvam Asi


much love,
tat
 
Global
#3 Posted : 4/30/2013 12:22:47 PM

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Tattvamasi wrote:


And the other chems probably had a slight edge in the experience, but I can assure you that most, if not all of the experience you experienced was ultimately due to the randomized, intense nature of DMT. It's just that crazy.



Yes, don't underestimate the sheer randomness of the experience. Some days smoking a large amount might not do much, and then on another day you may load up a relatively small dose, and have a mystical experience. There are really soooo many variables and unknowns that go into how and what kind of experience plays out. Having said that, people do seem to have varying reactions to psychedelics per dosage. Tolerance can go up some times from frequent use, but there's also the element of neuroplasticity so that the further you go (and DMT can drag you pretty far) the easier it can seem to be to get back to those same deep levels with less psychedelic material.

As for the chakras. I can't speak to verifying their metaphysical properties (i.e. color, throat chakra blockages associated with communication/third eye chakra associated with visions, etc...) but I have to my satisfaction self-located my chakras, and I can elicit energy from them whenever I please (though as I noted, I can't be sure of what effect this actually has). I'll quote myself from another thread where I discuss my experience with discovering my chakras.

Global wrote:

I accidentally discovered my chakras one day. I had gotten a crystal, and I was holding it up to my face to examine it closely, when all of a sudden my hand with the crystal in it began forcefully and automatically oscillating back and forth over a wide period. When I tried holding it up to other parts of my body, I didn't get the same response. I eventually speculated that it was perhaps a chakra thing (having been in front of the third eye chakra when I was examining it), so I held up the crystal to where I understood my chakras to be, and surely enough, I got that same involuntary response, but only if held in front of the chakras, with the exception of the heart chakra.

Now you can argue that it was merely auto-suggestion and that my conscious mind was influencing the outcome if it weren't for what happened next. For you see, as I said, it worked for every chakra with the exception of the heart chakra. I began to think that it was perhaps because I had a severe blockage in that chakra (as the intensity of the reaction did vary from chakra to chakra with some being slightly stronger than others, but nonetheless it was like the heart chakra was dead). I was pondering chakras and what I knew about them. I recalled that each chakra was associated with an organ, and it was through that line of thought that I had my "breakthrough realization": the physical organ that is the heart is off-set to the left whereas I had been holding up the crystal to the center of my body.

So I held it up to the center....and nothing. I move it over to the right side...still nothing. I move it to the left...and bingo; it was like turning the battery on. With a sense of full force, my hand began oscillating involuntarily once again. It is because of this that I can reassure myself that my conscious mind wasn't really influencing it so much because as far as I was concerned, I had believed that all the chakras go straight down the spine. It hadn't occured to me that the heart chakra would be offset to the left like the organ. If it was a case of auto-suggestion, my hand simply would have been moving when I held it over the center. The kind of energy that the chakras emit feels identical to the kind of energy that DMT creates and the kind of energy that the holograms I perceive on DMT are made of. Likewise, that "DMT energy" also has the ability to create forceful, involuntary movements in the parts of my body that come in contact with it. I didn't believe in chakras either really. I do now


I should note that in retrospect, the crystal doesn't have anything to do exclusively with eliciting such energetic reactions. I have since been able to recreate the same effects using either my hands, or virtually any mundane object I can get my hands on i.e. a television remote. I was perhaps lucky however to discover such an effect using the crystals or else I can't be sure I would have deduced that I was interacting with my chakras in the first place.
"Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind" - Albert Einstein

"The Mighty One appears, the horizon shines. Atum appears on the smell of his censing, the Sunshine- god has risen in the sky, the Mansion of the pyramidion is in joy and all its inmates are assembled, a voice calls out within the shrine, shouting reverberates around the Netherworld." - Egyptian Book of the Dead

"Man fears time, but time fears the Pyramids" - 9th century Arab proverb
 
voyaj
#4 Posted : 4/30/2013 2:47:30 PM

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YES!

I know what you mean about thinking you got to that place, that it is exponentially blowing your mind to
the point that you never existed and your mind blew up.

I think also that people must be prepared: lucid dreaming, astral projection,
meditation, willpower , some experience with smoking technique...
or else it is not going to happen in that vein.

And once it happens: oh man, its real, its real! Until ya
forget about our sort of real because you were
shot out of some sort of super collider UFO
into some other plane of being. Does not seem so much
like beautiful DMT geometric stuff but it becomes reality.
 
TOXSIN
#5 Posted : 4/30/2013 6:13:26 PM

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When you hit DMT on another substance in your case weed alotofpeople find that sometimes the DMT will just melt down so it in realityalso could be that he experienced hardly anything due to not getting much DMT then when the bowl reaches you you have an ashen pile of DMT infused weed and ash. All the ready to blast you off, this happened to me once in a similar situation packed a "breakthrough" dose for a friend and he said he felt he got it all after a few hits so I decided to hit the weed and accept any weird body high i got off the remainder DMT nope... he was fine and I blasted off.

But your trip report reminds me of one I have had.

Well lemme start off first by saying that I first chewed on some Salvia leaves, after an hour or so I packed a bowl of regular DMT, got a decent trip nothing remarkable... but my friend (A) and I decided to go further into the rabbit hole....


So I then had a brilliant idea to pack a bowl of DMT + skull cap infused with 5-MEO-DMT and Syrian rue

If DMT can be compared to heaven

5-MEO can be compared to hell to put it lightly so I hit the pipe and nothing could prepare me for what I felt

and as soon as I felt the first effects I knew it was gonna be intense.


I could just tell


I was fucked, and in for the ride of my life I start getting this rushing feeling like I'm de-materializing

and I see this blue and black vortex forming in my vision

and before it finished forming I had to stand up and move away from the fire because it was simply too chaotic and upon doing so the only thing I could do was wave my hand at Friends (C) (J) and (A) indicating "don't follow me please."


So I sat on the bridge in my backyard and as I'm sitting there the vortex continues forming, it starts from 3 sides top of my view and bottom two corners and it moves inwards to a spiral like a black hole. Then my entire visual field was corrupted by this spinning fractal black, blue, and green vortex and from there my visual field went from 180 degrees to 360, I could see in every direction at once.


There was no up, down, left, right, front, back, it was just everything and nothing at once like I was in the center of a black hole, at the singularity I didn't have a body my concept of "Self" was shattered. "I" was non existent all matter existed on an subatomic level as singular beings in other words every atom every molecule of matter was a living being whether I was staring at a tree or a rock, It was alive and every particle of it was alive.

I was everything and nothing the beginning and the end of the universe.


I experienced heaven and hell collide into my brain and cause the big bang.Space didn't exist, all matter was intertwined , everything no matter if it was 20 ft from me or touching me was all connected into the area of an atom

but also still had relative distance all at once.


My ego was fighting with me, my ego wanted me to get lost in that space and never come out I had to will myself with EVERY OUNCE of me,... "me" whatever that was at the time I didn't even know. "I" was simply a thought.


I had to keep telling "myself" and reminding "myself" who "I" was...what "I" was...


And I was screaming silently at myself to stay in the here and now... realize that I will be fine, and this will be over soon through this entire period of time... by the way time stopped and was non-existant at least in the way we perceive time.


I was feeling completely helpless in this state


Then right when I thought I was gonna snap and couldn't hold myself together anymore, I was comforted by something

It was like a motherly spirit, it basically told me this type of thing must happen. It is the way all things must be (chaotic)then it warmed me up, it rebuilt me molecule by molecule and slowly I started regaining "Me" and I was stilling seeing crazy visuals but they were "nicer" colors

like blues and yellows oranges light greens purple, every color yet no colors just a pure white all at once.


The infinite spiral came back but bright and nice looking

filling me with joy and hope. Spiraling in every direction infinitely spiraling and branching in every direction at once, (directions as we know them) Once again this area, has no "directions".


I exited the spiral through the center and the visuals slowly faded off giving me a nice euphoric feeling and keeping me at peace, comforting me and I ended my trip in a giggle fit just awe struck completely, and had a great time discussing the trips with my friends. (A) had tripped with me and experienced similar but different effects... I wouldn't call this a bad trip... just a difficult trip I feel no trip is bad if you can learn something from it. And I definitely did... I am still learning even 24 hours after the trip. I feel energized and revitalized. Almost like my "real eyes" are open for the very first time since I've been born.

SO as you can see my trip had the same mind blowing aspect of lack of "me", the timelessness, and also the motherlyspirit telling me this was natural and all would be ok.
Understand: Nature knows no EVIL, Nature knows no GOOD, people know these things, because we perceive these things, with the gift of senses given to us at birth. A good or bad experience is simply a bridge to a another existential time frame, so always live in the moment and make every one a positive moment!

Any and all posts or interactions are to be held as my fictional writings/short stories or dreams. I may even have some delirium setting in, I've never been tested for it. The only exception to this is the statement about nature above, I feel this is a fact!
 
LiberationSauce
#6 Posted : 4/30/2013 6:23:43 PM

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All of the feedback and thoughts are greatly appreciated.

Tat,

Yes. Horrifyingly beautiful is the perfect way to describe it. I can't imagine what anything more than that would be like, though I couldn't have ever imagined that to begin with...

It's such a strange paradoxical, nearly neurotic feeling that I have about DMT. I'm (still, 8 months later) disturbed and shocked about that experience. I'm very apprehensive and fearful about doing it again, and yet I know that I must at some point, and that I must go deeper, if that option is available...

thanks for the feedback. much love back at you!


Global,

That's really curious... your post about discovering your own chakras... It just brings up more questions when I consider my own experiences and what I have been taught by various teachers.

For a long time, from what I had read, I thought that the heart chakra was located where the heart would normally be, but towards the center. Then I studied with an actual Himalayan Yogi, whose 'followers' touted him to be self-realized/enlightened, Yogiraj Gurunath Siddananth, from the same lineage as Sri Yukteswar (P. Yogananda's Guru), Lahiri Mahasaya, and Babaji... He made clear that the actual heart chakra was at the base of the sternum... the other students in the room had a back and forth about this, but he stuck by his word. This was new to me sine i had always heard of a 'solar plexus chakra' which would be right or very closely below where he thought the heart chakra was. All of the other ones were where I had normally heard them to be, but the 3rd was just above the navel, and the 4th was right at the top of the solar plexus...

After reading your post, I'm inspired to do a bit of exploration of my own. Thanks so much for the input! <3



लोकाः समस्ताः सुखिनो भवंतु
Lokah Samasta Sukhino Bhavantu

May all beings everywhere be joyful and free from suffering, and may the thoughts, words, and actions of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and to that freedom for all.
 
LiberationSauce
#7 Posted : 4/30/2013 6:29:30 PM

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Toxsin,

Sounds fucking intense! oh the unimaginability of it all!

I can really resonate with the spirit that comforted you having a motherly quality to it.

aggh... I love this site. I love being able to come together with people and share these experiences. I love that there are other people out there, like me who get off on reading and trying to understand other people's journeys...

Cheers. <3
लोकाः समस्ताः सुखिनो भवंतु
Lokah Samasta Sukhino Bhavantu

May all beings everywhere be joyful and free from suffering, and may the thoughts, words, and actions of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and to that freedom for all.
 
Hyperspace Fool
#8 Posted : 4/30/2013 8:37:56 PM

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LiberationSauce wrote:
This got me thinking that there really might be something to the idea that one must be "ready" to experience a breakthrough rather than it depending solely on a successful administration of a certain dose. I had been practicing yoga and meditation regularly for 5 years at this point, and had about a dozen times as many psychedelic journeys as my partner (dmt and 95% of my psychedelic exploration came before I began yoga). More recently, 'A' and i engaged in a mushroom trip, 5 grams each, and again, i experienced very deep, elaborate geometric kalaedescopic opened and closed-eye visuals with bright lighted colors, while he reported a much more mild visual component to his trip... reporting only slight distortions in objects and slight dark patterns with eyes closed.... I wondered if all of this work made me, or my nervous system or my soul or whatever, more ready to receive certain visions... I remember many years back, before I had begun my yogic path, when I was with my previous partner who was extremely artistic, imaginative, and very intuitive, how he could take a single dose of LSD and be bouncing off the walls experiencing complex kaleidoscopic imagery, whereas it would take me several times more to have the same experience. I wonder if the chakra system is more than just a metaphor for the different dynamics and levels of the human experience. Could my previous partner have had a naturally open third-eye chakra? Could all of the inner work I had done over the years opened my third eye? I don't really know, but these things do weigh considerably on my mind when I recount these experiences.


^^This.

As much as many rational thinkers might tell you otherwise, my many decades of entheogenic experience shows this to be undoubtedly the case.

I nearly always get higher and much more out of my experiences than the other people I have tripped with. Easier to breakthrough... much farther down the rabbit hole... more intense and intricate visuals... and (most importantly) much better recall of what went down.

In basically every case, I have a much more "advanced" practice and cultivation of such related subjects as yoga, chi kung, lucid dreaming, astral projection etc. etc. The same people who report relatively tame entheogen experiences compared to mine, always report extremely tame dream lives and recall. People who tell me they don't dream in color often report that they have almost no OEVs and very basic CEVs.

It is no doubt to anyone who practices internal, spiritual or energy work that such practice is synergistic with psychedelic journeying. In fact, most psychonauts I know eventually find themselves drawn to such practices (if they weren't already) because of the psychedelic experience showing them that there is something to all this stuff.

It is too bad that the dominant worldview in Western countries is that chi, energy centers, meridians, auras, astral bodies and the like are "not real" and merely figments of our imagination and such experiences simply the result of neural activity. This will change in time... I remember when scientists were nearly universal in their denouncing of lucid dreaming as BS. Now you can't find anyone who will go on record saying that this phenomenon is not real.

Of course, outside of the west, such things are basically universally recognized. India and China alone make up nearly half of the world's population and pretty much every one in those countries accepts this stuff as a matter of course. Furthermore, these things like chakras and energy and OOBE's being real experiences... are known on every continent and in every culture. From Native Amercans to the ancient Celts, Australian Aborigines to African Bushmen, Polynesians, Sufis, Kabbalists, Siberians, Indonesians etc. etc. etc. all of these people know very well about this stuff. When looked at from the perspective of Humanity at large this is a done deal and not open to debate. People who are skeptical are the extreme minority and generally considered with compassionate pity by the rest. Case in point the Hawaiian word for white westerners is Ha'ole... literally Breath Without. Meaning those without Breath/Energy.
"Curiouser and curiouser..." ~ Alice

"Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it." ~ Buddha
 
friken
#9 Posted : 5/1/2013 4:51:45 AM

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awesome report. I really enjoyed reading it. I haven't yet smoked DMT, only mimosa/rue tea. I've spent a lot of time 'somewhere else' but I can't say I've had any really way out there places as described by your report or others.

I look forward to trying vaped dmt.
 
 
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