I had a veeeerrrry bizarre experience the other night. This is kind of long, and I feel like I've kept it extremely short. But here it is. I've recently discovered the magic in being able to vaporize DMT using a butane torch. I scored one that's like a large butane gun, one you ignite with your thumb and the flame shoots out the opposite end. I prepare ashes in a bowl. I'll either completely smoke a bowl of herb without compacting the ashes, or smoke a cig prior and just ash into the bowl.
Well I did this in my bong, filled the ash catcher with ashes (also a screen deep beneath) and sprinkled the D on top. I breathed, prepared myself, and lit the torch. I hold the flame maybe 5 or 6 inches away from the bowl, pointing directly at it, and I slowwlllyyy bring the flaming jet toward the top of the bowl until I reach the point that the D begins to melt. At that position I hold it until it begins to vaporize, and I can see it all running into the beaker of my bong.
So I rip these a couple times and lie back on the couch. I've had this thing where I smoke it, and come back for a second show once I come to a little bit. I've read about tolerance for an hour so after you first smoke but I seem to not have a prob blasting right off again.
I find myself in that space, that party, and this time I've really taken in a decent load. Incredible energy begins to run through me as the countless things are hurling objects at me and completely engulfing my awareness and mind. Tribal gumby-like figures who would hurl their arms at me but create a repeating flow of arms instead of just one. Jolly plum gumball clowns who open boxes but the box never seems to completely open, it just keeps opening, eternally (hard to visualize but it just does somehow).
And this party is just so wild and intense that something pours out of me, just like that "visible language", it was that. Not exactly words or foreign grammar but simply noises. Like blowing a raspberry in the air, polished intricate toys and "fun" just flow from you. I remember blowing, as if I was blowing a stream of smoke out of my mouth, and watched everything around me react to my action. That breakthrough was just so incredible it made me say mm MMM mmm, ffwhoooooo gaaaadddaammmmnnnnn. Just unfiltered pure life running through you like an old lady in church. I mean it had me in it!
After this phenomenon I commenced to smoking another load. I was flooded with incredible feelings from what I just went through and felt that I could control it better and witness more the second go around, as if I was too amazed the first time and could do better this time. I was quite shaky and disoriented (walls still dancing but I've left the big space). I grabbed a handy pipe, took a inkpen lid to scoop what was probably 30-40mg onto a bowl. I used a regular lighter and tried my best to vape it carefully. After the first hit, I could tell it would work, while taking the next hit I couldn't tell if I was inhaling. I was, but it felt just like stall calm lungs. I also had to locate the hole on my pipe with my tongue to assure I had my mouth in the right spot.
I felt that feeling that I was pushing it. And often I'll get a warning from the DMT about where I'm about to go when I take that hit I'm about to take. Little figures fly and surround me and point their attention at my intention. So after this I entered full blown hyperspace again. A place that literally replaced my room. This second round was much more abrasive. Little doorways and windows flying open at randoms spots on my walls, from which very serious characters emerged. I didn't even need to close my eyes because I was there. It was pure magic, it was so fucking magical, that I began to panic that I may be dying. This can't happen, of course I smoke DMT and have these visions, but I've become entirely part of this environment, I'm no longer just an observer/participant, I've been rewired into this.
I couldn't remember people in my life very well, or anything else related to me for that matter. I began to suspect my life may have been just merely dreamed or thought of. I need something to convince me of my realness. Meanwhile crazy ultra-pixar animated beings are molesting my room and absolutely flooding me with visions and ideas. A strong sense of remembering this place. Unreal. I'm not sure if this counts as ego-death, or border-line ego death, because I still had sense of trying to remember myself, so I was mostly gone? Not too sure, but it made me grateful to be alive. I feel like DMT is something to reaches people and try to create conscious relationships and interaction. Its authenticity will strike you like a bolt of lightening when you blast into that place and convince you that you may just not have all the answers.
The glossolalia or whatever wasn't exactly uncontrollable, and it sure wasn't as if I was possessed. It was like having so much energy that you must vent some through your voice. DMT space is the most goddamndest thing and it'll make you say ffffff shnkfk mmm mmmm mmmm WOW if you open yourself and your comfort zone enough to participate and create with the elves. Just be careful, it can be extremely unstable and uncertain, make every day of you life a preparation so that you can travel better in the higher realms. If you get selfish with the bliss that DMT offers it might just give you the opposite. You can be flooded in love, and the next time be flooded with fear.