My firend sent me this. Apologies if it seems to ramble..:

I'm not quite sure what to make of my recent tryptamine experiences lately... I can't quite get it straight in my head. Opinions gratefully received.

The last time I touched the Spice was about 6 months ago. I find my experiences with it don't really seem to tie in with the general experience reports i've read. I notice certain similarities – and certain things resonate, and I think “oh shit! Yeah!” but generally they seem unique to me, and people I have 'turned on' have more 'typical' experiences.

I always find it hard afterwards to remember and recollect what happened... but I know I feel like I've had my arse kicked... and it's always like I've just jumped off a cliff, had the most crazy experience, then all of a sudden woken up at the top of the cliff, wondering if I did just jump off?.... That I really experienced THAT? --- the WEIRD. The Alien. Another dimsion maybe. Confused.

Before my last experience, a couple of months prior I took some acid with a friend that was pretty damn strong. It was great, but I remember losing complete sense of almost everything. The concept of time. What is a day? Where was I? How did I get there? What was I doing? Where did I live? How do I know my friend?I had to piece together my life again. Etc... But then I also experienced *THE BEST FEELING EVER*. All of this was experienced outside on a local large hill, in the glorious sunshine.

Fast forward to my spice experience. On my own. On my bed. Alone. Just over 50mg. Ripped in a glass pipe in one damn large lungful. I hold it in for nearly half a minute before coughing out my lungs and lying down. Infinite fractals... 3D?... turning maybe 4D?

I start to feel overwhelmed. The next thing I know... for a few seconds... I'm back on the hill. With my friend. Completely there. But then it seems part of my brain kicks in saying 'What the FUCK!' and i'm back again in the fractal place. Again the rest of the trip is hard to remember. But I think I try to converse with the molecule. A face with infinite eyes maybe? I feel that I don't take the spice. The spice takes me. But overall I don't think I bring anything back from the trip. Other than 'What the FUCK!?'

After that experience. I felt quite humbled (but not really sure why – other than feeling overpowered), and haven't felt a desire to taste the spice since. But I have thought about the experience(s) a lot... but I still feel none the wiser. Just trepidation and nervous of going there again, even though I know I'll be okay.

Fast Forward to about a month ago. I took 1.8 grams of mushrooms (dry). Now, I have done a lot more than this. I've met the mantids, listened to the way they communicate.. But on this occasion I had to share around what shrooms I had left with some friends.

On this low dose I got into the familiar Spice headspace. You know... like when it first starts to kick in and you can remember all of a sudden what it was like on your last trip(s)... that feeling of 'oh shit...' familiarity before you start thinking it's time to close your eyes...

But I felt uncomfortable with it. Wondering if I should start leaving entheogens alone. I let it ride, then I just sat eyes closed, and I got familiar spice visuals, but very... feint. Not 'in-your-face'.

I got an internal dialogue kinda going with it. It looked like a fractal being was either feeding off, or making love to me. I was told – I say told – but it was more of a feeling – that 'it' or 'her' was sometimes going to give me some unpleasant experiences. But I had to deal with the bad, to experience the good experiences. With that the visions got a lot more pleasant. After a while I asked if it/she was good or evil. And it just felt like I got the answer 'I can be both', and the visions just felt more menacing. They faded. But It didn't feel like an answer. I feel more cautious of that headspace..

I feel I have unfinished business with the tryptamines, but i'm wondering if they really want to do business with me?

I'm not quite sure where to go from here. I don't really know what to think and wondered what you make of it..............

interesting stuff. thanks for sharing.

I think it's safe to say that, in a certain sense, we are all looking for answers and only finding more questions. however, sometimes there is a pleasant peace underneath all of the confusion hinting that a part of us may just know more than we actually are able to "realize" within the flesh.