Hello untimelyethos
I do sympathize with your situation. It is difficult gaining the trust of many native americans, altho there are some open minded ones out there that are color blind and have put the past behind. The real problem is that there has gotten to be very few NA's left that even take part or remember the traditional ceremonies, or even have any interest. Maybe the best way to get to know some tribal people would be to look into doing some volunteer work on a reservation. That may give you an insider's chance to build some friendships.
I don't know where you live, but some of the most open (and friendlier)cultures I've found are the pueblo people of New Mexico. Many of their traditions, dances etc. are still intact. There are also some non natives that share some very good sweat and pipe ceremonies too. I have a white friend that does pipe ceremony that is amazing, completely puts you in another consciousness. Proof to me that you don't need to be red in order to communicate with the spirit. Oh yeah, no drugs (except tobacco) or alcohol allowed. I think you should also find your own earth based practices too. There aren't any rules, do what feels right for you.
Here are a few books that I've found helpful:
Book of the Hopi by Frank Waters. An old book and still the best for recording and explaining the many timeless and beautiful Hopi ceremonies.
Navaho Symbols of Healing by Donald Sandler. Well researched and fascinating material on Navaho medicine ceremonies.
The Visionary by Kurt Wilt. About NA visionary Joseph Rael who draws much from his Tewa roots but even more from his own visions. Mind blowing stuff. Joseph writes his own books also but this one gives us pieces of all of them.
Compass of the Heart by Loren Cruden. Great book about the medicine wheel and how to incorporate it into everyday life.
Soulcraft by Bill Plotkin. Not neccesarily NA, but much about vision questing and other earth based practices to understand the self on a deeper level. Much about the unexplored shadow self here. A very real book in my opinion.
Good luck, I know you can find some inroads to your interests if want it enough!
Agave
As Within, So Without.