So many questions. (sorry for the weirdness of this post.) I'll start with the details, then I'll just copy what I wrote in the moments after my session.

I'm not quite hitting this stuff in full swing yet. I get a good dose loaded in my pipe and hit it, but it comes in too fast and I cough it out. Tonight, in a candle-lit room with some very soft music playing (Marconi Union), I anticipated this and tried keeping my lighter further away, so it would flow slower. I did better but I still coughed the first, most substantial hit. I hit 2 and then 3 and had a wonderful experience, though I suspect, still not full-on. There are definitely some very loving entities in my trips but they're not revealing too much of themselves just yet.

I came back softly and decided to take another hit, to finish off what was left. Has anyone else done this? I find it interesting. I feel like it gave me a chance to visit some of my "darker corners", and I find it... informative.

OK. Now, the following is what I wrote in the immediate minutes afterward:

if word are going to flow out right now: I'm not fucking cool with the state of the world. That is what my blockage entirely consists of. That is it. My inner demons. This is all they are. I am perfect. I believe this. I am perfect. Everyone tries so hard to tell me otherwise. Oh the try. They try. But my darkest corners have been examined. Here's what is hiding in there: I'm not fucking cool with the state of the world. The suffering of my species.

I hit it twice and I got heaven, then hell. But I had my eyes open in hell. This [above] is what I saw.

How I got there:

The first time they showed me things. As my thoughts started to come back, one by one, the things of my day... they were all examined by the spirits and they showed my why they are important to me. The function each one of them serves. I think they are still considering me. But they gave me such blessings. When I opened my eyes the room and everything about it was a show of their love. All the comforts I had taken for myself, these were amplified. The comfort, the beauty, the stillness, all amplified. Amplified stillness.

So I reveled in it for milinnea, and then hit my pipe again. Yesterday on the 2nd trip I asked to be shown hell. I asked for it. Today on the 2nd I asked to go there. Maybe next time I will ask to go there and won't second guess myself, actually surrender to it, as I surrendered so readily to heaven on the 1. These requests were of me but I gawked at my lack of control over them. I need to see what I need to see.