SWIM will be doing a relatively moderate dose of pharmahuasca tomorrow. It will be less than he's done before, but will be on an empty stomach.

SWIM was talking with his mother, who lives with him (he's in his 30's). She kept coming up with worried thoughts such as it causing brain damage. She also worries that SWIM will see her as a threat and attack her because she believes that on these drugs you have no control.

Is there any history of someone who is in a great mindset, no mental problems, in a natural environment, seeing someone else as a threat and attacking them?

SWIM measured out 45 mg DMT fumarate, 45 mg THH, 55 mg harmine, and 5 mg harmaline, in some water he will take tomorrow morning.

He believes as long as he's in a great state of mind, in nature, he won't see people he knows turn into monsters and become violent. He is not a violent person by any means.

The only fear should be latent schizophrenia (possible but not common at >30 years of age, sociopathology (very rarely latent at this age), or psychosis (always possible, though one should have some inkling of this).

The so called "hallucinogens" are "benign" in nearly every case that the user does not have a serious psychological issue - and when I mean serious, I am not talking about low level DSM-IV crap like social anxiety disorder. At worst, you be rendered nearly useless and appear (or be) "insane". Spice and violence do not seem related in ANY way - not only does it impair your motor skills terribly (making even a feeble person, a difficult target) - but this is an inward experience and the only death that could possibly happen is a psychological one often called "ego-death" - though the number of these experiences is miniscule, they are highly publicized. Reach deeply into yourself. If you are >30 and living with your family, I suspect you are very close. I wish I could guarantee the fact that you won't get violent, but I can say, given what we know about these chemicals, your mother's danger would be FAR less than a simple fire which is started via grease.. Far far less.

Does that help?

Always have a contigency plan. In this case, the cops are not a good contingency plan.

I'm honestly not worried but wanted to comfort her if I had the words to. She herself has a few mental issues from the past, but nothing too serious, so always things "worst case". She's living in my home, but should be out on her own in a few months. Still, I felt it important to let her know what I was doing in case I was out of it so she wouldn't worry if she saw me.

I know that one probably becomes more docile than a marshmallow when on aya. One is busier piecing together their own life and place in the universe to worry about another.

I think she's also worried about me like, dying from it saying "you don't know what this stuff is doing to you". It doesn't matter how many 1000's of years it's been used, if it's illegal, it's bad...


But she respects me, but doesn't want either of us to get in trouble either. I think she just wonders why now and not 5 months from now when she's moved on. Honestly, I guess one just feels the time is right for another journey.

I'd like to believe that there's no such thing as a 'schizotoxin', but from what I understand is that there's really no evidence to proving what schizophrenia really is.. Quite the mystery on hand. Not a master of the subject, but the past recalls and would not concur with the idea.

I still feel as that we're missing the wavelength of something so much more calling, more revealing, and defying the esoteric viewpoint of the restless agenda. It's great that you're close enough with your mother to tell her your agenda. If my mother knew what I was doing with myself these days she'd probably give me the evil eye and whip out the paddle. It's hard to understand these things from a iconic viewpoint of the world. Some decide to submit themselves to these worldly beliefs that we're not on par with an ideal venture, but if we lose sight of the higher standpoint we all may as well dress in pinstripes and play Al Capone.

If she's not going to bother you then there's nothing to worry about. Set and setting has always been recommended, why not here? She's obviously making you a little off ended. Is there no lake front or preserve you can attend to?

Some of the best experiences with harmalas have been staring at the lake front watching few people pass by with these distinguishing fractals running through them during a settling view... Oh my. Aya brews where I have little strength to walk but just enough to where I needed to go. People would probably care just a little bit if SWIM started puffing on a glass pipe If no one is going to bother you than its your own mind and your own experience that will guide you through the inner path. Good journeys and much peace

i also may note that on aya or other entheogens...most of the time..when you think of family..its kinda like looking at the reason why you are living in this world...you are there for them..and them for you..to take care of each other while you learn along your life path...

i also may say that your dose looks low enough that most likely..you could cook an omelet if you wanted one..tell her its a tool when used in the right..respectful hands..and that she can trust you to know what you are doing..

also...dmt has not been shown to cause any damage to your brain..if anything it may make it more advanced with all the new thought pathways that you create during the experience

yes well said

SWIM always has the biggest respect for his mom during aya/pharmahuasca experiences. First time he went to a ritual she was also worried and he was a bit harsh to her, and he had full visions of this and of the pain he caused to his mom. First thing he did the next day was call her and say how much he loves her and how she shouldnt be worried and so on. His relationship to her has gotten much better since.

Its normal that mothers are worried. She will be no matter what you say, but anyways assure her that you love her, that its for the best, that you are doing with good intention, conscience of what your are doing. Also even show her some real data (like how they are safer than aspirin, etc). Theres a sticky thread of scientific articles on these substances in the information forum, you can find something that you can use, maybe she even reads.

Good luck