This is going to be a long post it's kind of a slash between an introduction essay and first experience essay. I hijacked someone's post in another area of the forum so I thought I'd start fresh in the appropriate zone and hope to get some good answers

Basically I'm having trouble determining the level of breakthrough SWIM (a fictional character in a story of mine) is experiencing. The character SWIM is a highly experienced user of Psychedelics (countless LSD and Pscilocibin trips, back in college SWIM would trip every weekend on mushrooms and a few times a month on LSD, and over the past 6 years has tripped consistently at least once a month. The space SWIM experiences during his/her trances are not entirely 3D space more like SWIM is at the very front and center of a stage and is watching a story unfold... SWIM can look left and right but Up Down and Behind are inaccessible.. since arriving into the DMT nexus over the last month SWIM has tried the machine to spec, bought a VG, tried tinfoil and other unsavories, but has only gotten to the "breakthrough" point with the herb sandwich method in a water bong (SWIM finds the large chamber easier to get that DMT all in under 30 seconds), every method except glass dick at this point (not sure where to find one, if SWIM could he/she would as he/she read Terrance McKenna stood by this method). SWIM has had wonderful introverted experiences making him/her question the life he/she lives in a good way, but SWIM wants desperately to find the chrysanthemum and the doorway and to explore much deeper than what feels like just the top layer of his/her ego.
A little background on myself as a person, I'm a professional baker and went to school for Chemistry but have currently found myself disappointed in life and where the planet is headed and over the past year began seeking spirituality and moving away from my once firm beliefs in the non-existence of higher beings/powers. I first tried LSD at the age of 17 and have always felt this sense of interconnection between all of us since that beautiful first time when I experienced something outside of myself, the experience of not being separate but actually being part of everything and every point in time.. it's such a beautiful feeling! However the scientist in me denied aliens, religion, and worst of all blatantly wrote off all the conspiracies about the gov't.. I was a blind patriot. Even with the help of psychedelics it still wasn't until I was about 22/23 when I started realizing nothing material in this world would ever bring me happiness.. even a relationship with someone I loved wasn't providing happiness. I was living for the next moment every moment and never actually paying attention to the moment AT HAND. Time passes very fast and very unrewarding in this way. Suddenly without warning I was older, more tired at the end of each work day, and feeling helpless more and more. I had nothing to show for it except my memories and even then the memories were boring and filled with pointless images of work and arguments and nothing notably amazing. So now, a few years later at the age of 25 I'm looking for a new life, one with permanent happiness. I've come to find the only lasting feeling of joy I actually receive comes from helping others. So I've been researching quantum mechanics/physics (iTunesUniversity is really amazing, free videos of lectures from professors of notable universities!), entheogens, meditation, yoga, the Awakening process, Buddhism, the Pineal gland, 2012, the Mayans, Rick Strassman, David Icke.. everything and anything and trying to find out for myself wtf is up with the world!! I'm currently working on quieting my ego and trying to find a sustainable way to live without money while helping others and contributing to the planet. I don't feel worthy of such a gift as life and I'm searching for the path that will help ease the unworthiness. It is a very tough journey to become selfless I've found out

This has all led me to the "spirit molecule" and the fictional story of SWIM (take it as extreme visualization if you would please!).. hoping to use spice as a therapeutic way to map my path and focus my subconscious on spontaneous and creative ideas to achieve my goals. I'm willing to listen to whatever message is given to me.
(**DISCLAIMER: please remember this is fiction and SWIM is not real. The author, myself, has taken no part in any of the activities below, does not promote illegal activity pursuant to your country's laws, and has nothing to offer to anyone other than a creative story. Questions, comments, and advice pertaining to the adventures of SWIM and how the character should progress are highly appreciated!**)
Swim has extracted .5lbs so far, and is at the end of his/her yielded results (approximately 2-4g of material altogether). Out of this SWIM has shared with many of his/her friends providing low BB sized doses to any interested free of charge. SWIM had spent years asking anyone he/she knew that was interested in psychedelics bout spice and NO ONE knew of it, let alone seen or tried it

So SWIM insisted that he/she would not deny others interested in spiritual/conscious evolution the magic that he/she had harnessed from nature.
SWIM will admit he/she has not measured the doses for SWIM's own breakthrough attempts accurately, only a .1g capable scale was used to approximate 100mgs (when the scale tipped just to .1g this was the amount vaped). SWIM has a bong loaded now and is currently meditating and intending to experience something other than the elves

So back to the original hijacking.. It's important to note that SWIM was merely looking for a nice mild LSD like high before going to bed, and had never tried smoking it out of a bong. He/she had heard mixed results and SWIM figured that the relatively small (~30mg) pile would give him/her the beautiful rainbows CEV's to fall asleep to and perhaps even help with the astral projection techniques SWIM has been practicing recently. Needless to say SWIM got far more than he/she had anticipated and up until then had only experienced the standard CEV's of fractalizing manadala patterns growing stretching sinking and swimming.. SWIM's first breakthrough where he/she felt is if the body where dissolved and the eyes wide open even though they weren't is most easily described as watching live action christmas gift-wrapping paper... a flat 2-D landscape of cartoon dancing elves all in sync dancing with one another to techno and laughing and giggling, no depth to the world whatsoever--the elves had no message for SWIM in this first breakthrough and SWIM was alone so no one could tell him/her how long he/she was in a trance for. The elves during this trance also had a Simpson's type character (a yellow cartoon character) in a human sized blender without the blades, just spinning them around--it was like pure innocent mischief was happening. Also the entire time SWIM could not stop thinking "Why is this happening AGAIN, I'm seeing the elves AGAIN why do they always appear during my trance, why am I here again" and slowly as SWIM came back he/she realized he/she had never experienced anything like that before. When SWIM finally opened his/her eyes all SWIM could say was "what the fuck did I just see"
Second trance was the message about cigarettes--SWIM closed his eyes after the bong rip (which he/she thought was easily 25% more DMT than the first "breakthrough" trance) and SWIM saw HIM/HERSELF materialize out of the blackness of the back of SWIM's eyelids.. and slowly SWIM's doppleganger turned into the familiar elf. This elf produced a human sized-cigarette and was dancing with it spinning it on it's end all the while leaning in towards SWIM's "face" (or whatever SWIM has for a face

) waving it's finger "NO" and shaking his head "NONONO" as well clearly talking about cigarettes... the cigarette then turned into a BIC lighter/candle flame (classic teardrop shape) which then grew into corporate buildings, which then grew into the U.S. Capitol building.. the entire time SWIM had the sense of his/her duality.. telling everyone that the illuminati is real and asking "how do we stop it" all the while SWIM is actually fueling the greedy, no-remorse for murdering people through cancer BIG business by buying cigarettes... It was as if the elves knew everything about SWIM and the cigarette turned into other things--memories of things SWIM was ashamed of or felt guilty about. SWIM kept thinking "I really hope they don't know that one thing about me" and instantly the cigarette morphed into it. Layers were peeled back almost uncontrollably.. but SWIM never felt scared or upset nor did he/she feel the guilt normally associated with these thoughts.. SWIM was completely objectively seeing them but just KNEW they weren't "good" and that's why he/she didn't want to see them as opposed to floating through the Universe.
SWIM also recorded a video of the entire event this time to gauge how much time had gone by, and to immediately start talking about what was seen for the purpose of integration/remembering (although integration was not necessary as the message was not hidden). It appears SWIM was asleep on the bed for approximately 7 minutes... time is not something that can be gauged in the trance it is like it's standing still... much more so than mushrooms or LSD. the whole video was 20minutes long but it felt as if SWIM had spent an hour recording it.
The experience was intense and nothing like flying with angels across the universe, and there was some depth to it but this time it wasn't like wrapping paper it was like a dark room, the floating in empty dark space watching the play on stage unfold. SWIM could still sense his/her body throughout although it just didn't matter it was there, just like SWIM opened his/her eyes at one point in it and saw his/her room but it was like opening your eyes after you've already had them opened.. the weirdest sensation..
So what level of breakthrough does it sound like SWIM is experiencing.. is this still threshold effects? SWIM has read so much about large 3-D spaces--even 4-D like situations, however, his/her experiences felt very finite in space, everything right up in his/her face.
SWIM is finally getting his/her .001g scale and fancy smancy lab scoop today so he/she will be able to measure the doses but SWIM has had similar experiences on 10g+ of p. cubensis and was wondering what say, 150-200mg of spice might produce. I know that it's impossible to predict what that amount would do to SWIM compared to SWIY but after a month of training in the various methods of vaporization and seeing the experience of SWIM's friends on much smaller doses.. SWIM is beginning to conclude either a)he/she is really bad at vaporizing it or b)SWIM needs to up the dose because he/she has an unnaturally high tolerance. Also I should note more fictional work of SWIM's: his/her DMT is pure white, re-x'd with heptane after initial naptha pulls, and in SWIM's honest opinion couldn't get purer based on the fact SWIM oversaw the extract his/herself.
I guess I'm just looking for a good coach to help me help swim for consistency and strength of dose... a Spiritual E-shaman if you will, someone to take SWIM under the wing

I can pay you back only by giving you credit for anything that makes it into SWIM's story. I hope to take whatever wisdom I may learn and spread ideas to others to examine, experience, and visualize for themselves.
Thank you all for your time and sorry if this should have been posted in the introduction area! I really do look forward to being a part of this community where everyone seems to be the nicest person I've ever met

Also a place where everyone helps everybody for nothing in return is a great place to bounce ideas around about how to help others!
iomegaman