Dear Nexians,
it took me a while to decide if I should go and ask for a full membership, because I normally avoid to be too much involved in forums etc..
But here I am and introducing myself to you all. This forum is definitely a place I´m feeling “at home” and I would like to be a more active part of.
Who am I?
I´ve read a couple of introductions from other members and I have the urge to be a bit more personal so this post might be a bit longer than others. “Sorry for that”
I´m 41 years old, a dedicated psychonaut and have two children. I´m living in the southern part of Germany where you get according to martial law shoot for even possessing a gram of weed.
Since I was a young boy I was more than interested in technics, all kinds of science, psychology and phylosophy. Always trying to look behind the curtain.
I became an electronics engeneer studied communication technology, but had to find out that this way was not the right one for me. So I decided to go deeper into natural ways of healing. I took part in a wide range of educational seminars and workshops from energy healing, over bodywork therapy to depth psychology and worked in these areas for a couple of years. Besides that I´m very interested in spagyric and alchemy.
After a while my dedication for technics and science came back to the foreground and I invented a technolgy for reducing negative physiological effects of electromagnetic waves and for water treatment.
My last girlfriend came into our relationship with a lot of psychonautical experience. When she was talking about her experiences in innumerable conversations I always thought that she was exaggerating or misinterpreting.
What a fool I was!
I´m smoking weed since I was 24, more or less on a regular base with some longer breaks inbetween. I loved and love the insights and funny ideas this plantspirit can provide. Never touched anything else because of propaganda and the fear that my psyche could not be stable enough.
After more than 2 years she gave me a cd with a talk given by Terence McKenna with the title “Eros and the escaton”. That was the kind of intellectual information I needed to convert my thoughts and as a result of that my live.
Something deep in myself told me that the time is right to do some exploration. So I started to investigate the realm of psychedelics first in theory and then in praxis.
I had my first deep experience on 2 gr cubensis mushrooms and it was simply great. It took me a couple of days to integrate that and to go for Mckennas advice of the committed dose of 5 grams. I had a breakthrough which was beyond my wildest expectation. I never felt such a unity in all my attempts of meditation, pranayama and what so ever.
After a short while and a dozen or more trips my interest shifted more to “Hofmann´s child”, since I felt more and more uncomfortable with the entity and the energy of the mushrooms spirit.
LSD gave me one of the nicest and strongest experiences I´ve ever had, while sitting on a full moon night at the beach of south west France.
In the meantime I had gathered more than 100 hours of McKennas and others lectures and podcasts, which I listened to on my long distance carjourneys through europe. I became more and more attracted by madre ayahuasca, specially because of it´s endogenous compounds.
It didn´t took long for the universe to give me the chance of taking part in a yajé ceremony in spain.
And what can I say, I knewed my search was over.
I found my teacher.
I took part in over 20 ceremonies all over europe. I always had good, deep and teaching experiences but never a real breakthrough. Since I am a stone when it comes to psychedelics, the brew was always "a bit" to weak for me, even with doubled or tripled doses. So I knewed at some point in the future I have to go to the amazon and/or to brew my own.
A personal crisis brought me to give it a break three years ago.
With the beginning of last year madre´s call started to appear again. I found the Nexus and joined. Stayed more or less in the background and learned a lot about changa, extraction, about you all and the spirit of the nexus.
I have maid three STB extractions of mhrb yet and one CASA – FASA. The STB always with a ~2% yield, only the CASA FASA didn´t worked properly for me.
I have to admit that pure spice is a bit to harsh for me regarding the onset
, changa works much better for me, but until now I didn´t broke through. Still working on the right mixture and technique.
Two weeks ago I brewed my first Aya, and both the cooking and the ingestion was a very profound experience. The rest of the medicine will be ingested this weekend.
I appreciate beyond words what I´ve learned from you all. The Nexus is such a beautiful place where people are treating each other with respect and love.
I would love to share much more of my knowledge and getting more involved with you all.
In Lak´ech
Garfield
“Coincidences are what are left over after you've applied a bad theory.” P.W. Bridgman