So I have finally joined this site. I cannot say I have lurked here much, only that I have known of it's existence for a few years now.
What brings me here is seeking a new path in my own quest within myself and the universe around me. Perhaps drugs are not the answer (that is, if you want to call DMT a 'drug'
A little history;
My first true psychedelic experience was with mushrooms when I was 17. Following that I quickly descended into a very weird and profound relationship with psychedelics. All of which is a hugely crazy story in itself. I will almost go as far as to say I am still in a 'trip', as in, after all this is over, and I die, I will return to where I began, before this psychedelic voyage, perhaps even before I was alive. I feel I have ventured down one of many rabbit holes, and the more I inflict upon my mind and soul, the more I am pushing myself further and further down a matrix of deep, unexplored rabbit holes... where I will return to after this, will not only scare the shit out of me, but probably be one of the most comforting experiences I will ever experience as a child in this universe.
My first few sessions with LSD and psilocybin were intense and immensely spiritual, or enlightening. Mostly in that the 'truth' was smacked into my face with great force. I can't really say what I got out of this, other than a completely altered perception of the world around me and how I viewed and interacted with it. I can't say whether it is for the better or worse, but one cannot turn back the clock to find out if this is the case. This is the path I have chosen, and so I am sticking with it (for now, at least...)
Lately my use of LSD and mushrooms has been somewhat shallow. The first few trips, in their profound nature, are resonating in me and for some odd reason I feel a need to go back there, but probably because of my misuse with them they have 'left me', in that the magic is gone, now when I take these drugs, I'm just 'tripping'. Perhaps DMT is not the answer here? Or perhaps it is not a good idea to venture into it??
The last 18 months or so has been a turbulent journey with my sudden and almost tragic addiction to ketamine. A huge event in my life and the subsequent lack of liveable life meant that ketamine soon became my crutch and the centre of my life. At first it was amazing, and I saw things I never ever dreamed I'd get to see (almost safe to say I assumed it was almost the perfect psychedelic for me, in that it was a true 'escape', but therein lies the horrific re-entry to reality from that escape). Sure enough, my short and abusive relationship with ketamine has to surely draw to a close. I have not set this decision in concrete, but for now, I need to turn my attention elsewhere, somewhere a lot less selfish and distracting, to somewhere where I can regain my interest and thirst for knowledge, wisdom and whatever else this future path holds for me, or I can seek with the DMT realm.
As for DMT, I have very limited experience with this drug. I have smoked it probably a grand total of three times, none of which were a breakthrough experience. Perhaps because of my hesitance in entering the true DMT realm. The closest I came was one night on a k-voyage and towards the end I was feeling good and so decided to smoke some DMT with weed, I had a rather profound and deep experience, however I was still "here" and what I was shown was something I already knew, or perhaps something that has been infused in my own psyche for long enough that it has just become almost a tumour of the soul... I don't know, I could go into detail with it, but won't.
So I recently obtained a copy of "DMT-The Spirit Molecule" as well as ordered about $300 worth of books on amazon on the topic of all psychedelics, but mostly DMT. I have a small amount, perhaps half a gram, of extremely pure DMT which I have been holding for almost two and a half years now. Not to say I've been scared to smoke it, I just have never found the time or setting or perfect oppurtunity to smoke it. But I feel now it is time to make an effort to explore what I feel is something that will show me something I have been missing out on for a long time.
But perhaps it is not safe to give myself such expectations of what will happen in there....
However, on my first ever trip, on an absolutely ridiculous amount of mushrooms (had no idea how much we were supposed to be taking, I estimate I probably ate around 200 wet grams) I experienced complete and utter ego destruction/death. Along with this was a dark and sparse space where everything existed as nothing, singularity. Some kind of beautiful psychedelic soup of craziness I, to this day, still cannot comprehend. I want to venture back there, I want to start taking psychedelics a little more seriously. I feel DMT can take me back to that place, or even further.
My interest was sparked immensely by reading of the Pineal gland and it's role in the human brain and the brains of other creatures. For some reason I am fascinated by this piece of anatomy... and wish now to explore it's powers and offerings.
So this is me introducing myself. I am 23 years of age. I have a wide range of experience with LSD, Mushrooms, a lot of RC's and whatnot. I grow weary of the common drug ground in my peers and even the 'heads' that you see floating around festivals and whatnot who almost seem to sit on a pedestal and elevate themselves above the world and people around them and seem to laugh with "silly ignorant people, they know not what they know". I wish not to become like this, I wish to be humble and quiet in my new quest with DMT. I wish to quietly learn and observe, and grow as a person.
I became (should I dare say) 'friends' with 'Terrence Turner' (who wrote "The DMT Chronicles"
on the Shroomery a couple of years ago and we had a rather prolonged email exchange which has since died out as I'm assuming since writing that book his own relationship with DMT has perhaps come to an end and he has since immersed himself somewhat in the 'real world', and I have noticed his activity over there has almost disappeared entirely... If you are reading this, I bought a copy of your book on amazon and await with great anticipation to read it
So to stop babbling, I am looking forward to this, I am nervous, I will probably hate the stuff for all I know but I feel it is time to move on. Shroomery has been infected with kids and pharmaceutical/opiate addictions and the quality of content and discussion has decreased greatly in the past year or so. I used to be a rather active member, but not so much any more. I feel it is almost brimming with idiots.
So yeah... thanks for reading, and I look forward to embarking on this quest.
Cheers.