I've been having some trouble. Pre-flight jitters. I have been driving myself nuts for the past couple of weeks, trying to work up the courage to smoke a breakthrough dose. Usually I smoke lower ratio changa blends, but I've been wanting to try for a stronger experience. Every time I would feel like I was ready to go for a straight spice launch, something would come up. It was getting ridiculous. So I decided today was the day. I chickened out. I decided to smoke a 1:1:1 cappi, blue lotus changa instead. I was having a hard time working up to that. I finally found the resolve though, and loaded the changa into a water pipe. I tried to pull as slowly as possible, but I'm sure I burned some. I got about half of the dose, probably 30mg of dmt. Things started off great. Beautiful visuals. I saw a zebra with butterfly wings and an insectile face, flying in place against a constantly morphing background of interlocking M.C. Escher butterflies and bees. Unfortunately, the body load was heavy and not pleasant. I smoked 30mg more five minutes later. Same effects.
I started to get a horrible, toxic pain in my neck that radiated down my spine. I had a problem with lower back pain that resolved a few months ago, and suddenly that area (lower right) was hot and radiating pain again. It wasn't nearly as painful as my neck though. Other stuff happened during the trip, I saw and heard beautiful things, and had some entity contact. One with the voice of an announcer that morphed into Casey Kasem, who said: "This weeks top 40 trips include...." So, my trip was pleasant, even though I was in pain. This has happened to me before, with different batches of changa and differing qualities of spice. From near white fluffy crystals to waxy yellow stuff. This was a changa made from a dark yellow waxy crystal from a mhrb stb. Freeze precipitated from naptha. This was from one of the final pulls.
Was my pain from impurities? I doubt it. Was it psychologically induced? Tension from life in general, becoming more pronounced as I braced myself for a launch?
When I came down, I called a friend to talk with him about the pain. I was still tripping a little. I could still see the air a little bit. My neck still ached with a dirty pain. After talking on the phone for 15 minutes, the pain was gone. It has been 3 hours since I smoked. My back aches a tiny little bit and my neck feels a little tense. I also have a small headache, which I sometimes have after longer changa sessions. This one was short though.
Is this just a matter of me getting off my lazy ass and doing a re-x? Do I need a message? Maybe both?
Any input would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks.
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