do you feel as though whatever you fully expect of yourself is being demanded and met? I feel as though I had a lot more determination last year, there were things I had to deal with to improve myself or they would eat me, I feel as though I've dealt with these things a lot...

but now I feel as though the determination I had has been lost, I'm disappointed. I guess it's hard to explain.

Does everyone feel as though they have met themselves and matched what they try and achieve with themself?

when i was younger, i never used to set high goals. so i would never be disappointed. but i always stayed true to myself and what i believed and have far exceeded my own expectations.

that's awesome

It took me some time but I realized that I unconsciously exactly did the opposite




I guess I see what you mean. It is especially true since I met the spice which increased the feeling that 'material' quests are... void, without 'substance' (which is quite paradoxal for a material quest )
But I am now a bit lost, like partialy awaken from a dream in which aims were clear and therefore without any more of that aims. There is a meaning but there is no aims and I have to learn to live without aims

i hear you, I try and live without aims, with aims you mean like goals to enhance yourself pointlessly? like having a better job not out of necessity, or a better car, or needing to be important, or getting cought up in the life without goals is no life for me shit. I hear you, I definately don't live with aims.

well, still, try and live up to whatever expectations you have of yourself in the way of what you desire out of life and such, don't let yourself down.

the most important thing is to enjoy life and cultivate positive relationships with others. everything else society shoves down peoples throats can &^$* off

I know it gets tricky when you realize that nothing will be left undone even if you do nothing. The Taoist and Buddhist teachings come in handy at this point. Starting with the feeling that something about you needs to be changed is a subtle but real form of aggresssion against yourself, like saying, "your broken" and if you wouldn't let someone say that to your best friend then don't allow yourself to say it to yourself. Really loosely buddhism reminds us that all suffering comes from not letting the natural change of the movement of life take its turns and one can let go of trying, let go of striving and see what's beyond that. Periods of spiritual exhaltation alternate with periods of dryness with all of us. Some things to do, or to let take form around your creation impuses for fun that I and my friends have done that are real (and sometimes you have to work a job to get the money to do the thing): grow or gather your own entheogen material, offer it free to 500 people out in the woods, rent a truck and bring your collection of big speakers, generator, trance music loud and projected G-Force visuals on sheets tied in the trees at night. Give the best of it all away for the giving, expect nothing back. Snorkel in Hawaiian or Carribeen reefs, surf Costa Rica, and snowboard, get good enough and do it on entheogens. Hike in Southern Utah at Zion, Bryce and the Grand Canyon, bring water and sacred medicines and disolve into natures body. Take your friends. Give them the best of what you find, do it for free and for fun. You have love to give and do it because it is the best feeling in the spectrum. Let it flow thru you. It is you.

I hear you

beautiful area!! had a nice mushroom trip up in that area 4 or 5 years back. hehe

This is a good description for my situation. It's going on for at least 5 years. 5 years without substantial success and it gets worse and worse as the feeling of beeing stuck somewhere without any means to escape intensifys. I know that I need quite a shift in my perception of the world. I've had this once, managed to transform myself from a a guy whose joy soley derived from selfpitty to a somewhat conscious beeing who actually wants change. It's a start, but nothing more. And it's a shame that this tiny step took 5 years.

Maybe that's why I'm so eagerly looking into the psychedelic experience. And I'm not sure if it's the right way...but who can be sure of that before trying. The worst thing that could happen is a new bad situation I can learn to cope with.

Isn't that what we're doing most of the time?

Tangled up in Blue, happens to the best of us PEACE!!!! listen to some real music to connect with!!!!!! SSSSH! I DONT THINK WE CAN! I'tALL A BIG JOKE! Laugh in copious quanties!!! THE HEALING IS FREE & THEY DON"T WANT YOU TO KNOW!!!! HA_HA Not EvenTheHealers!!!!!!!!! Then they would have to go back to work. then what about the OLD Folks???? BOY what a mess!!!!!!

you alright , man?

I'm a lot happier when I'm goalless. Then I can just enjoy life.

ahh yes...and the same to responsibility!

I wish i could say i was fully satisfied with everything i am doing... i guess im satisfied with the fact that im on a path. its not that im not really happy with my actions.. i just get depressesed sometimes feeling helpless when i really start to think about all the bullshit going on on this planet. I wish i could do more... I try to tell the ones who will listen but when like youre own family tries to laugh it all off and pass you off as crazy it starts to seem hopless. I dont think were hopeless though.. i see so many people all around that seem like they are in some sort of pressure cooker and like the whole thing is going to burst soon..i feel like the universe is pushing me foreward toward this moment.

I know how you feel, I was always quite sensitive to all the nastiness of the world that other people seem to successfully ignore. Come to terms with the fact that you are small, a little ant, and it's pointless to control what happens around you... let go, just carry on your own little ant-dealings with integrity, and enjoy your brief life. Don't try to carry the whole tree on your shoulders, a piece of leaf is enough! Your goodness may touch others, and the more people act like that, the more things can improve. I used to try to tell people stuff, and they would just switched off, they didn't want to hear... when I stopped doing that, I noticed that sometimes people started asking me about these things, picking up on something I said in conversation that displayed a different view of the world. If that's not enough for you, help out with a charity, or help out with activist activities like turning up for demonstrations.

It's early days, but foaf feels a lot more motivated since he first smoked spice. I actually quite like responsibility, as long as it's not onorous.

No.

Coatl, aren't you still only 18?! How can an 18 year old already feel like that?

You guys need to reject the patriarchal definition of success. You'll never be happy unless you learn to appreciate what you've got. Unsatisfied people remain unsatisfied their whole lives, always striving for more. And stress kills. Whereas grateful people can still be successful in the capitalist sense, but are STILL happy even if they don't fulfil the ridiculous goals that society forces upon us. Consider the birds. When you find this happiness, you may well become more productive in your chosen field. It works for me.

Ya i hear what you are saying. Some days I will feel totally at ease with everything and just go with it. Other days I jsut tend to get caught up in this societal rejection thing, like this safeguard comes down over me and I think i disasiociate to preserve my state of mind. Im sort of a "fringe" person anyway, always was my own best friend, wouldnt have it any other way either

Ive personally found that to achieve what you need to achieve in life is very difficult if you don't journey with enthogens or meditate. Yoga is like meditation for your body it does wonders for my mental health to because i can breath better and I'm much happier and far more confident. Its vital to correctly channel energy in the correct way. Breathing is also the base of the way everything functions. If you breath correctly ive found my body and mind work in absolute harmony together. Just some thoughts

Much Peace