PRE-CONDITIONS
(mind)Set: Experiencing a kind of DMT intertia. A great desire to move forward and smoke 20 mgs, but all those years of NOT smoking DMT and my resistant ego (doesn’t want to die AGAIN) kept stopping me. Over the past few days, I had several openings where work and home schedules and mental set were creating the trifecta I currently require to even consider a DMT trip. My current life is very scheduled.

(physical condition) Set: Feeling good - minor lower back pain

Setting (location): Bedroom, on the bed with cats and Shpongle

time of day: (12 or 24 hour system, daylight? starlight? overcast?) Right around 12:00 Noon, bedroom, not much natural light, other lights and computer screen turned way down.

recent drug use: (list also any kind of medication) Over 50+ years female vitamins, allergy pill, Acid Reducer pill to prevent heartburn, use Blue EMU for the fact that I had a gigantic burn on my leg. Also, Stammet Stack - 0.125 grams cubenis, 88 mgs niacin and Lions Manes shrooms. Marijuana and fb harmalas smoked before tripping. Clearly I am an aging, walking drugstore these days.

last meal: Last night around 7 p.m., light amount of chicken breast, rice and veggies

PARTICIPANT
Gender: F

body weight: 62 kg

known sensitivities: I guess I could say I used to roll hard on 80 mgs of MDMA and cannot take benzos due to hardcore and dangerous pardoxical effects.

history of use: (experienced, novice, first timer - in general and for this specific substance/form) Very experienced with smoalking; decent amount of experience with oral


BIOASSAY
Substance(s): (list all taken substances) pre-smoked bowl of marijuana and fb harmalas; DMT twice
Dose(s): (in the same order as Substances pls, use metric system i.e. g/ mg/ �g) Just a bowl of weed and unmeasured harmalas - I would guess 30-40 mgs. 10 mgs DMT warmup hit, 23 DMT main trip

Method of administration: (dissolved in water, capsuls, insufflated, vaporized...) Vaped in GVG

EFFECTS
Administration time: T=0:00 (expand this if you used delayed administration for multiple substances or the same substance with multiple doses. Use indices.) The 10 mgs experience took about 13 minutes. The 23 mgs experience was right after that as soon as I was down enough to weigh out the dose.

Duration: (x hours)About 13 mins for the 10 mgs warmup and about 10 mins for the 23 mgs trip

First effects: Body load, feeling very good with 10 mgs, mind splitting up at 23 mgs

Peak: (estimate a time range and note as e.g. T=2:00-4:00 for a range of 2 hours beginning 2 hours after administration) Probably 3 to 5 minutes for each

Come down:Another 10-20 mins

Baseline: 30 to 40 mins

Intensity (overall): 2.5

Evaluation / notes:

OPTIONAL
Pleasantness: 3
Implesantness: 0.5
Visual Intensity: 2.5
.


AFTER-EFFECTS
Hangover: None

Afterglow: A very lit up, very happy mood and a continuing feeling of a kind of electric gooseflesh within my cells for the remainder of the day. Very pleasant. This physical feeling had faded after a night’s sleep but I woke up still feeling very good about things.


REPORT
DMT is a fascinating and strange medicine. I am often the first one to say it gives us what we need rather than what we think we want. And yet, I have been trying to intentionally do some work on myself. I have been asking microdoses of mushrooms to help but I have also been pretty much asking DMT if there was any help it could offer. My two big experiences since I have come back have both involved my feeling like my mind was split/flayed/shattered, but not in a traumatic way. More in a way to say, “Well, here it is. Normally you don’t get to see all of these sections/layers. It’s up to you, all of you, now.”

In my past anything was the perfect excuse to vape DMT. Today anything is the perfect excuse to NOT vape DMT. One of those trifecta slots was immediately closed when I learned a cat I had sat for years had recently passed away.

But, today is a new day. I have been smoking harmalas (and a bit of weed) listening to Shpongle and just trying to get my surface mind levels into order. Trying to embrace acceptance and surrender.

I have procured a better scale than last time. I may have smoked more than 10 mgs last time.

I decided to try 10 mgs. Feeling cowardly and maybe just wanted to test the waters. I recalled in my past use, a little “warmup hit” of a low dose before the bigger one helped to damp the anxiety.

The body load descended slowly and was very comfortable and felt good/joyous this time. I got almost no visuals but it was still kind of chaotically colorful behind closed eyes. I worked on trying to let go of anger and felt a pleasurable kind of goose flesh all over - it was like I could feel each individual cell.

Then my sweet tabby cat settled next to me, so my eyes opened and I loved on her for awhile. I may be a psychonaut but first and foremost I am a crazy cat person. If asked to give up DMT or cats I would be happily just live with my spicy memories as I continued to enjoy the presence of felines.

Duration about 13 mins.

Next dose was 23 mgs. I was trying for 20 but 23 fell onto the scale. Clearly it was meant to be.

I was feeling good from that handshake dose of 10 mgs. Almost zero anxiety. Actually a very set intention with a flat affect.


This trip was as much about feeling as about indescribable visuals.

I still need to refine/reaquire my GVG technique. At least I am not burning any of it. I took 4 rips (the last 2 were the biggest) then laid back with closed eyes. The body load was significant. I tried to send love and acceptance.

Visuals opened up in a dark palate and I could feel my mind splitting/slicing/shattering into sections.

One section was trying to observe.

One was trying to let go of anger and embrace acceptance.

One was literally judging (boo!) hyperspace (!), “Wtf, I feel like this is where I left off 7-8 years ago. I thought hyperspace progressed and changed over time,” (I attribute this to the state specific memory phenomenon) . . .

One was stuck reviewing everything that had happened since the last trip and trying to JETTISON the flotsam. It is an interesting process trying to Deep 6 thoughts.

One was noticing my body - contrary to my memory of being corpse cold on DMT in the past it felt pleasantly warm.

One was trying to actively set down memories of all this.

They were all aware of each other and not uber happy with each other. They all just wanted to let go. They/we/I tried.

Then things very suddenly and radically resolved/improved. Goals were at least partially met.

I became we became they and we/they/I decided we did have the same agenda all along. Instantly the shattered parts felt somewhat meshed back together and very copacetic.

The visuals were fantastically complex. Synaesthetic lines that were again forming large curves, but along the edges of these lines were countless pieces of geometry and everyday objects, spinning and vibrating synaesthetically with the music.

Soon these turned into sheets/circles - the larger circles were made up of smaller line defined circles in their interiors. The smaller circles making up the larger circles were these lines with these rainbow everyday objects - baseball bats, spheres, trees, pyramids, model trains, endless . . . .stuff (very microscopic, very colorful).

By now things had brightened up a bit.

Any self awareness or shift in consciousness brought a shift in visuals. Suddenly I was in a large, warehouse type space, uninhabited except for moving line constructed synaesthetic sheets of pastel sine waving colors. A very pleasant place. Perhaps a kind of waiting room, but I was happy to be there knowing I had not intended to breakthrough today.

Things began to break up and come back in waves. There was a lot of synaesthetic beauty made up of circles consisting of cylindrical cords that were colored in the most fantastic hues of gold, orange, green and blue The colors of these cords were created by individual pixels of fantastically bright and beautiful light.

Throughout all of this I was feeling great. Smiling and happy that my mind was resolved and re-meshed. Everything felt like it fit together better. Kind of like taking a device, dissasembling it, lubing up all the parts and reassembling it.

My memory of the remainder is sketch. I apologize as usually I am better at bringing material back. But, you know how it is - everything is so insanely, vibrationally, spinningly, constantly CHANGING in there.

Soon my eyes opened and I felt GOOD. Very much at peace, not shattered but rather personally enmeshed/reknit. Ready to face the rest of this not overly scheduled day. I am glad I decided to do this. I smiled like a silly fool who knew a secret for a long time. I hope to be able to do it again soon.

Wow, you certainly haven't ignored the bells. Often it's easy to procrastinate when they toll but you have been on it, with confidence. That's how it comes across to me.

It's not easy to do this after taking a long break and I'm in the same position you were, so this is actually the kind of thing I need to see. The bells are still ringing.

I'm really into the idea that all these different parts of ourselves all want the same thing. Somehow I feel that this thing is what makes hyperspace feel like going 'home'. It's everything as one. Does this make sense ? A profound merging of our different parts with everything else, to be one again. Or to just realize we already are.

Good stuff