Sorry, I was going to write out another long statement but realised that however I write it it'll seem patronizing to someone here and will probably have already been said.. but I guess I'd still like to say good luck to everyone here and with spice (and any drug) I'm just constantly evaluating my usage to think 'is it going to be a more positive outcome taking this drug or not', often it's not.

that seems to me a healthy approach, hummus.

House, Obsessed with what exactly?
I think i understand what you're saying with the phone thing. i have only smoked 2 maybe 3 times in the past 5 weeks and they were under 15mg. i dont know why but i cant bring myself to do it. its not fear, why would i fear pleasure and information. i just dont feel the need. I want to continue, i DONT understand yet. are you saying that i should stop, that its not worth it?

http://www.youtube.com/w...KxWMrDFqI&a=BnjyAgG0

It's interesting to me how many people want to tell house what to do or why he's wrong or why he can keep using or why he needs to integrate or why...(you get the point). We all walk our own paths. House decided to share a decision and words of warning with the community. I understand that it makes people apprehensive when they hear that someone (especially someone who has worked with the molecule and been such a vocal proponent of "smoke more dmt" ) has decided to stop a habit that they still partake in regularly, but that anxiety should not be pushed back on house for making a statement about what he needs to do and how he was affected by his spice use.

A lot of people seem to be claiming in one sense or another that they have the answer and they know how to use and integrate this stuff without issue. I'm sorry, I just don't believe that any one person has The Answer. We all have our own life situations and circumstances that influence and affect us. Whatever works for you, works for you and that's great, I'm getting tired of people trying to tell others what they need to do in their reality.

peace
SB

thank you joebono, vovin, dimitrius, and snozzleberry for understanding what I'm trying to say.

I could agree with your first sentence, but I'm not so sure if the second part (the paragraph) really relates to insanity. I think you are talking about morality? Also carelessness and desire for money and power? I think that's not insane. I may think it's wrong, but not insane. I also don't think house or you are even close to insanity. I think house is a little distressed and I think you are nice and intelligent guy in a world full of not-so-nice governments and unfair wealth distribution systems.

I agree however that insanity is a matter of perspective.

House, I agree with everything you laid out in your original post.

I probably won't be on here much any longer, I have no reason to. Folks in chat seem to get a bit upset if you don't personally advise the use of psychedelics. If the only thing that brings us together here is the use of drugs, and not our mindset, who we are that made us ask these questions in the first place, then I just sort of see it as an excuse to get fucked up, and not something that is entirely healthy to participate in.

There isn't much reason to dive in to something so deep and otherworldy, when the breadth and depth of this experience, this life, is so complex in itself. I feel like psychedelics have marginalized or minimalized my view on everyday life to something less than what it is. I've now realized the things I have sacrificed to ask these questions, and I'm done, I'm going to dig deep into life, into everyday experience sober and find what works and search for ways to truly satisfy my curiosity.

I think it's great that you had the cojones to start this thread, if this went down in chat you'd be facing a tidal wave of negativity. Good to see someone who has their head in the right place.

Good luck, House, and thanks for the words of wisdom.

To narmz, though, I see no reason why the Nexus can't be a collection of like-minded people in addition to a wealth of spice-lore. The way to make that happen is for we like-minded people to stick around and talk about like-minded things. The only thing that brings ALLL Nexians together is interest in entheogens, but I think the main difference between the Nexus and other forums is that most Nexians did start out asking those questions. You said that apparently the only thing that brings us together is drugs; I think this thread is a counterexample... we are the people who asked the questions.

oh.... I guess then I should mention..... don't worry people. If the op or anyone else doesn't want to be "helped", they don't have to be. Didn't mean to annoy anyone by giving basic non drug related advice, or assume there is a problem, even though there's some pretty strong language coming from the op that suggests otherwise. No one need take any advice.

With all due respect, I don't see any sound advice in your first post. You basically said, it doesn't have to be this way and I've seen what you have (and honestly, even if you saw the exact same things or had an identical experience, your different life situations alone would make that two completely different and distinct experiences anyways, imo).

Also, keep in mind that some individuals who have been walking thousands and thousands of steps down this path may be less than receptive to those who have just taken their very first steps. I'm not commenting on the merit of that, merely stating that it's something worth keeping in mind.

Lets just say that its not all fun and games for you ۩. For some it is. Some hit the threshhold after one voyage, some require thousands of voyages to get where you are ۩. Some never ever feel the way you do ۩. I have been up and down on it many time over the past few years. I have been, IMHO, exactly where you are now.. . . .. . AND I go back. I never regret going back. I will always go back.

However I never go back without fully integrating first.

After a couple of hundred voyages it is still as magical as it was the first time I broke through.

Difference now?

I respect it more and I take more time to integrate my experiences.

I dont go back if I am still feeling residual effects from the last voyage. Some times it takes a while.


۩ you may change your mind. It may call you again.

۩, if it calls you again you will not deny it, you will go.

I know you will.

You will.

We all do.

Is it fun for me? YES! Very much so.

Best of wishes getting through this difficult period of integration.

I actually thought that was really good advice, and I'm pretty sure I said more than just that so plainly. I guess I assumed at some point in peoples lives they have realized that they don't have to be trapped by their own mind. I was just reminding him of that. I guess it didn't get through.

The mind is projected by the body.

Is it only me or we have 5 pages of discussing utter rubbish here?

It has been a long time since I've seen such boring threads around here. I think I like more the flame throwing/mud wrestling/unscrupulous swearing threads than the "gotta say my whatever opinion" ones.

Just keep discovering house :]

I don't judge anyone except those that choose to do nothing, and you sir are far from that.

enjoy your path(when you can)

So what? Whos body is it anyway?

Again, peeps, I don't mean to sound confrontational, or like I'm arguing ideology... just something I'm putting out there. Maybe it will resonate, maybe not. Also I have no opinion on whether the op should or shouldn't use drugs. Or anyone else for that matter. I'm addressing the other things said in the thread.

Maybe I should expand on the part where I say, "so what?". What I mean is.... no matter what happens to you in this life, there's no reason why a part of you can't rise up and just say, ...... "so what? Yeah, crazy shit has happened..... and yet here I am, my spirit still free as it ever will be". Yes, it can be that simple, and that's probably why almost no one takes that stand. Take that stand.

Infundibulum,

A member of our community almost died after breaking through from DMT because they wanted to move on.
I have been damn close myself.

Do you not see what I'm getting at here?

For the LOVE OF GOD, for the LAST TIME,
All I am saying is
BEWARE.

I don't care if you find this boring. I don't care at all.
I'm just warning people that they may be in for more than they could have ever wanted or asked for.
And some of us find it HARD to deal with.

I hate to have to keep repeating myself...

This is something that is rarely talked about in this community. It's like a taboo. I'm being open and honest about my relationship with DMT (and my friend who almost died) That's what this forum is for.

^^^^Well if your contemplating suicide then you should seek some professional help.It sounds to me like your depressed (just my opinion) which could have been underlying and triggered by your pschedelic usage. Your also say in your posts that your obsessed thats not a good sign either. Maybe you should take a break from here for a while.Hopefully everything works out.

Good Lord! This thread is STILL going on? He doesn't want to smoke DMT anymore......Great! What's the big deal? Warning, you see crazy shit! Warning it opens your eyes! Be careful is what he is saying, point taken.


Consider us all warned.

bah.
I did "Seek professional help" as per Uncle Knucles's advice a few weeks ago.
should have seen the look on the guys face...
I'm perfectly happy right now that I'm moving on from all this absurd insanity.
And yeah, I am completely obsessed with consciousness after all that has happened to me. It's impossible to let go of.
I've tried taking a break from viewing this website and chatting with my friends. I can't.
sorry to annoy you all with my warning, but god damn...