I have always had a very deep respect for and to some degree, an intense fear of psilocybin mushrooms. Much as I do for vaporized spice, for that matter. The price for admission... is DEATH. Dying is the scariest state of being for humans to experience, perhaps just a few notches more so, than living in this material paradigm? Honestly, why do you think newborn babies cry upon taking their first breath? The isolation is so extreme sometimes it nearly paralyzes me. What is this place? Why do I exist at all? What am I here to learn... or perhaps, to unlearn?

But let's all be very clear on this issue, of all the illusions we embark upon through our existential journey, beginnings and endings are the most terrifying. Why so? Because of the unknown factors involved in committing ourselves to the reality of one or the other state and frequency of mind. When we do so, we gain and loose in equal measure.

My last few voyages with shrooms have been quite overwhelming and that's an understatement. Many of the lessons I've been shown, involve mirroring to me (the witness to this earthly dream sequence) my habitual mindset and it's predilection for creating mirages and false assumptions about everything I am exposed to. I have been forced to cross the line/membrane, whereby I am torn asunder and gradually experience re-assemblage through most definitive ways and means. It's as if the habitual propensity for accepting the surface crust of my self, for the central core... is the major lesson imparted.

I have often felt that the reason mushrooms are so intense is because we are largely composed of bundles of thogouht-forms. Our accumulated ideas are in essence, our ego-selves. Shrooms seem to enjoy pulling the rug out from underneath us. They leave us stripped naked of our human conditioning and reveal to us the majesty and immensity of the Cosmos. As Teacher Plants, they show us where we are stuck, both psychologically and metaphysically. They can be mistaken for being heartless at times, or even as cruel... but they are not. They are simply being 100% honest with us. They show us our mindset, without any blinders. They also facilitate our understanding, by forcefully tearing us to shreds! And they show their depth of compassion, tenderness and universal love, by allowing us to be reborn, anew. They gift us a second chance to fully be here now (free from the self-created constraints of the time-space-continuum).

I have bee waiting for the right circumstances to ingest another quarter ounce with Caapi as an accompaniment. The Caapi tea seems to bring the voyage much more into Hyperspacial parameters. And yeah, I do find that when I am willing to release my fear and my fixation upon this or that concept, I am gifted with a pure vision of the reality within this dreamscape. they are my favorite psychedelic for a number of reasons. Mostly, because they are the fruit of this world. Not necessarily the "forbidden fruit"... but they are tough on the ego-self. I have discovered that DMT is the same way. One simply cannot hold on to one's own routine self-patterning and hope to survive the experience (without much suffering and confusion). And when one finally lets go completely... the bliss is immeasurable.

Having the dualistic mindset dissolved so powerfully, always shares the shit our of me. And this is wholly understandable, as the EGO deals with so much misinformation and is so very prone to distort reality for it's own agenda. Mushrooms do not like our bullshit, my friends. They destroy these errors in universal understanding, sometimes most unceremoniously so. Seemingly harsh at times... but always truthful and always with our greatest benefit in mind (if mind is the correct word for this). But more than anything else, the lessons are loud and clear. I hear the same revelation each time I embrace this entheogenic Deity. And I paraphrase, but of course.

"Wake up, you are really a frequency of consciousness. Open yourself to this truth. You are not the material husk, you are the Divine kernel within it's epicenter. You are Universal awareness, Omniversal Being, Infinite consciousness dancing freely throughout the myriad forms and appearances it assumes for an infinitesimally brief sojourn. Let go... or be destroyed time and time again. Be yourself, your true self. You are already here. Now is an eternity and it is heavenly in it's reality. Do not be something unreal, illusory and spiritually limiting. Be wholly One with God, consciously and wholeheartedly. Embrace the remembrance of yourself becoming manifest thought, within this Infinite Grid.

Be God awakening to the splendor and perfection of itself, as it effulgently blooms, in yet another guise. Receive love without reservation, so that you might share it with all you encounter. Immerse your mind within the effulgence of the Divine Field of Being. Be that loving, all-knowing light, for certain death awaits those who sleep endlessly. Reflect this healing wisdom and allow your own Spirit-song to be the Spirit-song of all unified life forms. There is but the singularity experiencing existence from behind the veils and mirages, that of the Supreme Godhead! For the morphing dichotomy is surely the biggest untruth and a vibratory frequency of no lasting reality, as if it were but a passing dreamscape."

I thought i was a shroom wizard level 99, but the truth is i am just a class 3 student in the shroom school of life.

Last time i took 0.5 gram of potent local cubes and chilled in the park when some turkish women startet to dance and wave their extreme colorful patterned cloth/scarf.
They created a wormhole with their energy and i nearly got sucked in.
I had to flee the scene and got some very intense displays of madness while walking home.

Before that (months earlier) i had an full blown horror trip on 1 gram.
I really couldn't fathom the fact that such a small dose would send me to hell.
It was so intense i had to play a movie in the background as a time marker and to ground me.
Silence was unbearable.
So i let Avatar running (just choose a random movie), and as soon as i did the CEVs intensified and showed the same neon light colors the movie did. I never knew that shrooms could be THAT colorful and 3Dimensional. I heard the movie but saw a different one in my head (couldn't keep my eyes open). I walked through the jungle of pandora by night, saw a lot of insectoids and other strange animals. Quite a strong confrontation with the complete other. I nearly shitted my pants.

They seem to increase the difficult level since i ve startet to ask them specific questions. When i changed the general procedure to a more ritualistic one, with clear intentions, and with the sole aim to get into contact with the voices, they seem to increase their interaction and attention (and the madness ).

I haven't used them since i've taken Ayahuasca. I am quite intriged to meet them again.