that would have to be realistic fantasy

are you insecure?

Deeply. I do a pretty good job hiding it though.

What is your earliest memory?

Visiting my grandmother in the hospital as she died when I was 3. This, in turn, led to many sleepless nights during early childhood, grappling with the concept of death and creating exercises to cope with the related anxiety and fears around the concept. It's been a recurring theme in life ever since.

What is your greatest ambition?

DMT

What is your fondest, most nostalgic childhood memory?

the first time I learnt the tip is the good spot.

Do you have hope for the future of humanity?

No, i tend towards pessimism (not a choice ) but i know (hope) others are not.



What do you keep doing even if you know it's bad for others (or society overall)

Smells like victory!

What do you keep doing even if you know it's bad for others? (or society overall)?

Play my guitar in front of someone. I'm terrible! But I like to play. So they suffer.

What is the most vulnerable you have ever been?

When my little brother needed me the most in life i was wasn't there with him, I'm still mad at myself for that, because i was to busy getting wasted.

What is the worst thing you have done to someone?

... I had sex with a girl that a close friend was deeply and madly in love with. It was an extremely unfortunate situation because I didn't know and then someone told him. It destroyed him, even to this day and he has never forgiven me. It became one of the reasons he attempted suicide, and he almost succeeded.

How often do you lie.

The intentional lies and their motives range from protecting my ego to protecting my ass, while the unintentional ones are so fully confused with the former category. I am a liar, a lie, and the unfortunate victim of my own lies.

Have you ever experienced ego death without the immediate influence of psychedelics? What prompted it, if you can even explain it.

Through dreaming Id say yes. I will sometimes spend the better part of a day going in and out of dream states not unlike lucid dreaming, however I'm also not what Id call aware of myself dreaming after a certain point. These particular types of dreams are not human type scenarios. More abstract with concepts ranging from something like being a Tetris game to white noise/chaos to stuff I really couldn't explain or even remember sometimes. A point/particle of sound in empty space is a pretty common one lately. Sometimes Its pretty similar to the whole becoming one with everything phenomena thats common with 5-meo-dmt. I try for that most often, with varying success. Equally as blissful experience, just without any of the initial physical discomforts I faced using the substance to get there.


Would you please pick and share a chunk of text, maybe from a journal or a piece of poetry or really anything from any point of time, that is very personal and/or revealing that you would never have considered sharing with anyone until choosing to at this moment?

I know it's not poetic but this is one of my most personal journal entries from about a year and a half ago...

Why was I circumcised? I thought I was an American, where the Individual was free to make choices, free to make religious/medical decisions on his/her own, why was my decision made for me? How could the doctors convince my parents like that? Do I really have nightmares about it from time to time or is my mind just playing tricks on me? Why does it feel like no one ever cares when I try to voice how important this is to me? Part of me is afraid to hear when my closest friends are having kids, because I just know I'll be THAT GUY who will try to stop them from circumcising their son (thankfully only daughters so far...). Will that conversation be what ends our friendship if they don't listen to me and my worries for their son and circumcise him anyway? How much cognitive dissonance do people really have over this? I mean, the equivalent surgery for women is banned here, and practically everywhere globally... what's with the gender discrimination that no one seems to notice? This makes me feel like I'm less of a person, especially when the urologist doesn't even sound concerned when I schedule the appointment to try and reverse, and the plastic surgeon he directed me to also just as dismissive? WASTE OF TIME AND MONEY. I just want to be able to look down and not feel depressed at my own appearance.

My turn for question: Is there anything that you would do more often out in the open in public if it was considered more socially acceptable to do? This has got to be something that you think is considered taboo and it's the taboo and stigma from society that stops you

^^^ That was a pretty easy one. I'd pee where ever I felt like! What a pain it is to find a restroom sometimes!


What part of your personality do you identify as your biggest flaw?

My sexuality.

If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

I wouldn't change a thing as I am content with how I was raised now that I am understanding who I am, why I feel the way I do when I do...if that makes sense.

What is the worst reason you feel that you have used DMT for?

To make me feel a better person. It is a self defeating/uplifting goal.


Do you really know what the DMT-Nexus is about? Or do you only have a small hint of it? And if so to what degree, explain what you mean and feel.


Kind regards,

The Traveler

I feel I only have a small hint of what the nexus is truly all about. I post here seldom, I use the nexus as a reference for safely traversing hyperspace. This is where my psychedelic adventures began and the nexus will always have a special place in my heart.

What makes you smile that you are ashamed to admit?

I smile when someone learns a lesson the hard way, and bings suffering on to themselves, yet still finds a way to grow and over-come. This includes myself. Sometimes learning a lesson means we may encounter something that is unfortunate - oftern self inflicted; but I find that if I can laugh at myself, then I can probably make it through.

Would you sacrifice your own happiness for the happiness of others? What if you knew that you could "fix all the problems in the world," but you would be stuck in a state of misery for the duration of your life. Would you do it?

Yes, I would. I've already seen the bottom, so I'd be willing to dwell there to bring the rest of the world to the top.

Have you ever killed someone?

No.

What are the top three most significant experiences in your life?