Humming Goose (and many others)
I too have seen myself, or how I perceive myself, ripped, torn, unzipped and unrolled on Salvia. I'm happy--but freaked out--to know that some other people have "seen" what I "saw" and can put it in words too. I did it three times about 5 years ago. I will never work up the courage to do it again. I hold a strong conviction that I will see that trip just one more time, but I'll get stuck in the "black" and (for lack of a good word): FORGET. These tripes were the three most powerful experiences of my life. Like everyone, my memories of life fade over time. The memories of the salvia experience have been pieced together better since using, nothing fades. I've seen the "wheel", as I'm quite sure I'm IT right now, and I'm spinning out my perception of me as I type this.
Here's the thing that scares me most: The second time I used, it started and I heard (it was me saying it, I think this "me" was my ego saying goodbye): "Here we go again...(and then a feeling of a "sigh"
. The third time: "really? you did it AGAIN...okay.." I've gotten older versions of me "stuck" in time, I think it's the way life plays out, but it's not fun to experience. We like to think of ourselves as being in control of ourselves. It's not the case, we are in control, but what "I" am, is truly a different person every second of the day. My point:
What salvia reveals makes sense. Scientifically, there is empirical evidence that I REALLY am a different person now than I was when I started typing this. What I am is the product of each side of my brain talking/arguing. Every second, the universe changes, and with that change comes sensory information. As I perceive it, it is added to everything I know now, while my other memories may leave forever. My brain creates a new synapse, my consciousness is a product of the workings of an ever changing PHYSICAL machine--the brain. I have to change, you do too, you can't stop thinking, you can't NOT change. We have to dream, think and experience; we have to keep the "wheel" spinning. This is how the consciousness is created. The transition from one me to the next me, is what I experience as the passing of time. Without salvia, it's a pretty smooth transition, it has to be because I evolved into a creature that can perceive the world in a way that affords me the capability of surviving. If time broke down, and I lost my ego, I'd stop moving in this perception of reality and reduce my likely-hood of survival.
I'm fairly certain, that these visuals are showing us how our brain builds our perception of the universe that is around and within us. Salvia blocks out sensory information, it's as if it kills "you", which is business as usual--then it allows us to see how our brain has evolved to piece together our perceptions to form a "new you". It's not that either "world" is more or less real. It's all real. It's a different way of seeing the complexity of the human consciousness that we take for granted. Salvia shows you becoming self aware, and to maintain that ego, you can't see the production of it. That's why salvia is scary. It shows us "HOW" we really are, not "what" we really are. These physical processes that we usually don't "see" pan out--the "wheel"--is the creation of a stable, faulty state of self-awareness. It's like booting down your brain, looking at the internal specs, and watching it kick back on. How are we going to make a computer that is self-aware?...we need some scientists, engineers and programmers experimenting with salvia. Salvia flips the switch of consciousness and shows us how we've been fooling ourselves. The universe only looks like this from our eyes. There are likely infinite ways of experiencing existence, but this (life as we know it) seems like one of the only ways to ponder existence. Ultimately, I think I'm saying that Salvia causes us to see what happens when we cut off our ego and join everything in a cosmic, static and permanent state. Reality, as we know it, is the only way to "exist" as one thing among many things. At a base level, we are all just sections of one great big thing, there are no questions there nor is there anything to ask them. I don't think that thing is god, and I think once we die, we will fade into it, but we won't know we're there. There will be no: me, you, us, we or I at the end of this spectacle. I'll integrate back into the flow. In the flow, there is only everything. Within everything there is nothing. Life, even if fabricated, is a break from eternity.
I have always wondered what the universe was. The answer is simple. I am the universe. I'm a small chunk of it that forgot the other 99.9999999999 percent. I am the fabrication of the idea of "I". This idea--"I"--is the only thing that isn't eternal. The only reason the question "why?" exists is because the ego exists. The only reason the ego exists is because the question "why?" exists. To not know, there must be questions, and for questions, there must be me. Life is knowing you don't know.