I couldn't agree more with this. Since SWIM started using psychedelics a few years ago, in one of the most important trips he has ever had (on 6g of shrooms) this was the very same message and conclusion that the mushroom told him. Take a stand for yourself, improve yourself, be strong and be beautiful (both physically and mentally), get ready for the future and take control of your life. Make the constant practice of freedom the continuous dinamo of your life. SWIM feels very related to the way you described yourself, and in his case psychedelics were a turning point towards a great improvement of his own self, his enviroment and his view of the world. Take a pace to it thought, one step at a time, explore novel spaces and discover yourself in the process. Don't worry much about the others, as usually the lot of people is boring, brainwashed and trivialized by consumer culture. Share your insight and experiences with the people you love only, and that you consider important and relevant in your life, people that you can learn from. Take pride in choosing your friends, be exclusive. Also, be aware of yourself and your own ego, for one never ceases to learn and for this sometimes is neccesary to fall down to the ground every once in a while.

I'm seconding Shrooms as a good starting point too. DMT could be a little too much too fast too alien to relate it to your everyday life, not to say that one cant learn from it at all, its a very powerful and brainstorming experience. SWIM is yet to try Aya but planning to do it in a couple months.

LOL its true, i call this Apollinean Rhetoric. It is no coincidence that for the greeks, Apollo, the most beautiful of the gods, was also the herald of reason and truth.

Hello Out.of.theashes, much of what you write resonates with me, particularly about not quite being connected to people and having difficulty staying at the chit-chat level of conversation. When I do connect I tend to communicate in "flashes", speaking very rapidly and covering alot of ground with whomever I'm talking with.

So far most of my DMT experiences have not been "spiritual", though a couple definitley were and involved my wrestling with inner demons (anger). I'm hoping in time to learn how to better use this tool since the short duration of vaporized DMT means I have more opportunities to explore with it compared to other tools.

As you consider entheogenic exploration, your intent is extremely important and will have alot of effect on the experience. Answer for yourself what and why you want to explore, work on, see, think about, whatever. You don't need answers, only questions which can form a loose structure for an experience. I've found that asking myself these types of questions and writing them down before tripping makes for a more meaningful experience, even when no answers become apparent during the trip. I really wish I'd known this in my early days of chemical based exploration.

Many have suggested starting with shrooms first, and that sounds like good advice to me as well, though I haven't had the pleasure of my psilly friends for over a decade. Sigh... What I have discovered as a very useful consciousness exploring tool is mescaline bearing cacti. If ever there was a material that almost always results in therapy it is mescaline, at least for me anyway. Connectedness? Mescaline helps to remind me that I am connected with everything and everyone; I can see it, feel it, be it, and know it long after the trip has ended. The only downside of cacti is the time it takes to prepare the material for ingestion and the duration of the experience, 16 to 20 hours being my norm. I have few opportunities to book such a large amount of time for this, but when I do I always get something out of it. If I was to recommend a first time entheogen it would be cacti.

Thank you for prompting my thoughts! Good explorations to you!

CS

Wow, thanks all again for such awesome guidance and opinions. They're all so good, I wish I could take a few hours to address all of you!
I do have another comment about the suggestion of less-intense options.
Since hearing/reading about DMT, I have been less interested in trying other psychedelic/entheogen/etc substances because really the only reason I am interested is for spiritual reasons and self-discovery, NOT to see things just for the sake of seeing/hearing things. I can appreciate that working my way up would be the wisest route, but I guess I am thinking of it like getting into a pool of cold water. Step in slowly and you draw out the hesitations to take the plunge, and going in slowly isn't giving you what you want but teasing you along. I think that ideally, I would like to have some sort of ritual to guide me and really plan on having a first rate symbolic experience. Sort of an initiation into seeing the world in a new way. I have to say that all of the positive comments about DMT experiences have me feeling it will ultimately be a great choice for me, that it will help me come to terms with this struggle that has been inside of me since I can remember.

I definitely want to be that person who is so at peace with myself as a being that I can stop feeling so enslaved by concerns of others. I so wish this could help me. I believe that my logical, sane brain KNOWS all of these things about how I have strengths and am a good person and have loads of potential, but something is getting in my way. Maybe maybe maybe this is a key for me, if not THE key, at least it may unlock one of these doors...?

Also listening to a lot of Graham Hancock who regularly references Ayahuasca.

Is there anyway to find local "practitioners" who would be trustworthy as guides? My circle of friends has a few who would have access, but I don't believe anyone mature enough or experienced enough to guide me (hence why I am asking for guidance here!).

Thanks again, all! Glad to have found you!

Just a thought - while dmt is certainly special and very intense - don't underestimate the other psychedelics. They are divine and full of potential in their own way, each with a very own feeling and each with its own directions and lessons and spaces. It is unlikely that you will find nothing, no meaning and no discovery, if this is what you are going in for. After all it is us who is experiencing things, so it is us who can navigate the spaces that open up to us. If we are hedonistic in our approach we might get nothing but giggles, but if you are introspective you will stare into yourself in an altered state...

anyway, just don't underestimate their power. dmt may be *more powerful* to some, but in the end I just like to think they are all different and have their place in these explorations; preferences depend on the situation.

cheers
Enoon