We all experience it sooner or later:

Falling deeply and rapidly in love with someone to whom you're very strongly physically attracted. Someone you find particulairly beautifull.

Looking into their eyes, holding them, kissing them is the ultimate blissfull experience.
No extatic experience I've ever had is better than that. The highest high.

Being attracted to someone's physical beauty is so incredibly powerfull an enchantment,
that even when that beautifull someone turns out to have even the most horrid of personalities,
we'll be tempted to switch off all reason and stay with them for the sake of maintaining that hopelessly addictive state of bliss that their beauty and charm seem to induce.
Happens to millions of people the world over all the time, yet few dare to admit it.

Here's someone who does have the courage, honousty & self-awareness to admit it:


Many people downplay the power of physical attractiveness and condemn those who admit to it's powers and how it can easily over power them. I think they too are often overpowered by it, but are ashamed to admit it in fear of being seen as "vane" or "shallow".



But I, like Leo Tolstoy, also admit that refined enough physical beauty gets me every time.
I am powerless against it. The very idea of putting up any resistance is humorous. It gives
me a charge of vibrant energy, thoughts become very poetic & story-telling, visual imagery of high quality and deep symbolism flood my imagination/minds eye, I feel absolute bliss.
How could I ever WANT to resist it once it floods me? It's the ultimate corruption of reason.

It happens rarely that I fall in mutual love with someone like that, but when it does I am out of this world. And I have no intention to hide that a woman's beauty has allways inseparably been connected to the awesome, galaxy-sized force that attracted me to her.


But...Why? Why can physical beauty induce such extatic, dreamy, blissfull & quite manic states? What would be the purpose of that?

Is it our Imagination that somehow associates that physical beauty to a pre-imagined mental concept of an ideal lover?

Or do we see something real in them that is there as either realised or unrealised potetial?
Does mutual physical attraction between 2 people mean they would make strong, healthy & happy children? As it feels that a force, independant of the mind and of free will, is pulling 2 people physically together. Even when they both have doubts about starting a serious relationship, when the physical attraction between 2 people (the mutual attraction to eachother's physical beauty) is strong enough, as soon as they meet they clutch onto eachother. And it makes them both feel miiighty high.

When we gaze at eachother in amazement and worship of eachother's beauty, we see in that beauty incredible purity, magic, bliss, happiness or as Tolstoy named it "goodness"


Why is that? What's the purpose of this strong physical attraction and our obsession with physical beauty? Why do we tend to associate beauty with goodness? It must have some meaning that we become so completely irrational & bewitched by it, right?

I would like to hear your thouhts, Nexians.

Other than dualism being required for establishing a basis for pleasure/pain archetypes which, as unenlightened hairless apes, we gravitate towards for the thrill of hedonistic indulgence... there is probably an instinctual aspect guiding us to healthy mates to reproduce with. Diseased and physically unfit and covered in oozing sores would be bad traits to be sticking your evolution stick into. But instinct isnt tremendously precise so harmless skin defects and bad hair days can trigger the same aversion response as smallpox or varicose veins.

Maybe a sensible argument could be made if you provide a workable definition of (physical) beauty.

I suspect that "beauty" is a highly subjective qualification.

Also what if there is a fundamental tautology in play here: Perhaps things are beautiful because they are alluring?

today on the purpose report:

propagation!

I think it's deeper than just being attracted to beautiful people: What about sunsets and flowers and rainbows? Why are we drawn to objects of beauty in general? They serve no evolutionary purpose with regards to survival, yet they definitely make us feel better.

I used to fall in love very quickly, but I would rarely consider the physical beauty as the main reason for it. For now personally I think that physical attractiveness can’t be solely in itself responsible for creating love. Sure it can create desire and usually is the first reason why someone pays more intimate attention to other person, be it of the opposite or the same sex, but love is more complicated than this.

I would say there are two types of love: blind and lets call it natural one ( instead of “true” love which philosophically sounds suspicious and has many funny connotations ).
The first one is mostly the result of workings of your mind and it may start almost immediately after you meet someone. You start creating different mental future scenarios of you and the other person like two of you spending some romantic time, having sex, living together etc. You also create a mental picture of that person which more often than not is far from realistic. So in consequence you find yourself falling in love with that ideal picture instead of the person itself and probably that’s why rational thinking fails here miserably. I used to be such a person for a couple of years in the past and I believe it was caused by a lack of proper psychological integration.

The natural love slowly grows with your discovery of the other person and I think it
should be based on some deep and multilevel connections between two of you. Otherwise it is just a social bond which can be strong and ever-lasting, but doesn’t produce this absolutely exalted feeling of oneness or being over the moon. What is also important in company with such a person is that you should feel and behave authentically. If you feel that you need to pretend to some degree it is just playing with emotions – you end playing the role of someone else just to attract the other person, and so this person isn’t really attracted to you, but to the acted product, and sooner or later your relationship becomes a drag.

I guess there is also such thing as romantic love which stems from the fascination with the newly met person. It can either coexist with blind love or can be experienced as a prelude to or the beginning of natural love and in this case many people , after the former ends, have troubles with transitioning to the next phase.

Of course those are my own observations and thoughts and I don’t consider myself an expert in this field. Far from it actually.

While flowers flower to share some pollen i admit that what i said is certainly not the full answer.

The "beauty" is something that makes my conscious mind stop for a short time, perhaps the beauty is a trigger to the direct experience of being itself when analyzing of the mind stops. A reminder of the vastness within and without?

It is baffling and boggling to my intellect and perhaps it cant be understood in a way that can be described by words, or it can, i dont know

^. Flowers, insects. the Peacock all have some form of beauty to attract mates. So there certainly is an evolutionary and strategic value to being beautiful. And it's a very effective strategy. But why is it that we so helplessly attracted to beauty? Is it as such to preserve it? I personally do tend to look in a female what I want to propogate further into the world. Sounds cold on paper but I tend to look for sweet, kind and charitable girls. I personally find these values important and I would maybe reckon that these personality traits are universally recognized as positive. It's just that for most people it is not placed on a higher scale of importance than for example physical beauty. Which I tend to think of as important when thinking of potential bed partners. Not so much so when thinking of my off-spring. Which in itself is somewhat of a biased product of higher thinking. And loosely based on what we think we know about DNA propogation etcetera. A monkey or a fish will certainly does not think of their off-spring in this way. But I am curious of what makes a monkey 'love' her children so much. Where did this connection start?

Coming back to the topic of being physically attracted to someone. At some point, personality becomes sexually attractive. I often hear, a lot of times from gays, that there is a gradual change in perception of this person's physique when getting to know someone's personality. When a person's personality is positvely valued this person automatically becomes more physically attractive. I think we call this love. Personality can also become repulsive. I think this means that personality certainly has Aesthetic value. And it can become alluring.. It is actually obvious when you think about it. Just take the words "Beauty" or "Ugly" and connect them with "Personality". I think we now have Aesthetic value. The fact that Personality is also sexually attractive/repulsive makes it something even more. I am left wondering if this also means that all sexual attraction is in essence a subset of aesthetics. Which would make love-making in essence a form of art. Which is on second thought.. Obvious.. Lol. Procreation.. Art..

I'm pretty sure the root cause is that beauty usually equals healthy. Nature's mechanics rely on the healthy to mate and the sick to die. This way the best genes get passed on.

Now of course we have twisted what we "call" beauty, for some, but true beauty is created by love for that person. I have been madly in love with some that were not considered top notch yet were the most beautiful creatures in the world to me. This is a mixture of personal preference of physical features and the love is blind syndrome.

It is partially related to an instinctive element, but that's just a reflection of an emotional element forced into a state of density coarse enough to support the emotional world.


Beauty exists as a substance which can accumulate around anything which is symbolic to the soul's experience of reconciling being both infinitely coarse an low and being infinitely fine an high. In other words, a sunset is for instance beautiful because it represents that reconciliation.

Such a reconciliation in time appears to be a "journey." And thus the experience of a sunset represents a story, a mythology, which both reminds the heart of the beauty of the soul, and it reminds the soul of the beauty of the heart.

This reciprocity is the phenomenon which can cause crescendo of ecstasy in the heart, as well as inspire deep silent watching.
That phenomenon is then reflected into the instinctive world as the simple enjoyment of the colors.

When I've seen, felt. Heard. Something, or someone beautiful to me. I would equate the sense the seeing of this beauty fills me with to that of remembering or recognizing something important, so that it could stop me stop my thoughts and pause movement for a brief moment, that it could override the anomie that is being one alone to oneself. And there absolving one from all doubt.

There are many beauties. But physical beauty is for reproductive purposes, I think that's clear enough.

There is a lot more visible in people strictly via physical appearance than we allow possible, I think. As the flesh is so frail, it is hardly more than dream. Does not break through social, ideological walls, rather molding itself upon and against them as much as the form of our minds are shaped and hammered and melded against form.
Manipulated by collective thought, beauty manifests.. it is largely a product of some known consensus, but by large measures seeing is knowing, too.

It has always been the person I was attracted to, and has never deviated from that. Body types are about sexual compatibility, and is a major indication of intelligence. That is, what kind of intelligence. Water seeks it's own level.

Beauty is very subjective, but for what individuals find beautiful...

If we are discussing people liking people, then of course physical looks attract for reproduction. Of course I want to reproduce with a slim, fit, healthy, young, happy woman over a fat, out-of-shape, dirty, older, depressed woman. There's just a better chance of offspring (healthier, more beautiful offspring who can have more healthy, beautiful offspring of their own). Smelling pheromones also plays a role; our bodies naturally respond to people we find compatible through their pheromones in the air.

Society/culture plays a big role in trying to influence what we find beautiful as well, but that mainly plays on our natural fears, emotions, and instincts for the general purpose of taking our money ("wear this watch and sexy women will approach you, but if you don't your boss will hate you and you'll lose your job and money and won't be able to eat you bum" ).

But if you take our instincts/bodies and societal influence away, what do you have? A mass of seemingly uninformed awareness? This is where one has to question what he/she truly wants for themselves. Once you realize that bodies are next to meaningless and culture is a scam, what do you really look for in a person?

I find I need a balance between looks, happiness, intelligence, etc. The hottest girl in the world will become ugly if she's really mean to me and everyone around her. The ugliest girl unfortunately remains an ugly girl, not my fault nor problem. But the average girl who loves and cares and nourishes is the sexiest and most beautiful thing to me.

"Sexy" or not, I want a woman who cares and who is not an ignorant slave to TV, products, ads, societal expectations, etc. etc. like most of the other people I encounter on a daily basis. This is where I see the beauty.

I have to disagree with part of that assessment. Storing energy by converting it to fat is a natural process. Gaining fat is as natural/healthy as building muscle. Why would body fat be considered unattractive by natural humans? Why is it considered unattractive by modern humans? In my opinion, this is an example of a criterion for attractiveness that cannot be explained by evolutionary fitness.

fleeting moments of satisfaction. what many people perceive as beautiful in the animate form, doesn't last.
universal beauty is eternal.

it's analogous to satisfaction vs pure happiness. people go to great lengths to pursue the latter, but are really just fixating on the former.

http://www.thelancet.com...et/article/PIIS0140-6736(09)60318-4/fulltext

I will agree that in some cultures, being overweight (at least on the woman's part) is actually attractive and desired by men, as it is a result of having an excess amount of food, something which is not common in that region. However, I would say that as a whole humans prefer others who are fit (i.e., they exercise a lot, have healthier hearts, stronger muscles, etc.). Those with healthier hearts and stronger muscles have improved bloodflow and other health benefits that lead to a longer life.

However genes passed to children are the ones we receive at birth; very few, if any, lifestyle choices necessarily contribute to DNA changes that would be passed on (except for massive amounts of radiation or genetic manipulation). But being fit during adulthood would extend life and allow the mother to continue to provide for the children (and the father to continue to provide protection, earn, etc.).

Maybe it is a societal thing, but if every human were physically fit we would still be tremendously different. So while I prefer "slim" women, maybe just "fit" would be more appropriate in terms of evolutionary benefits.

I'm don't think that ancient humans lived long enough for heart health to really matter.

Anyways, I agree that slimness is sometimes a good indicator of physical fitness, which is a naturally desirable trait.


That's why I'm curious as to why it is not congenitally attractive to all humans, since humans evolved in the food-scarce wilderness.

it's a lot like money. some people have it, others don't, except pretty much everyone will lose it and neither say much about the character of the person.

this was quite interesting and from an evolutionary perspective:

http://www.ted.com/talks...ry_of_beauty?language=en

also, @ 112233, did you take that photo above? Its a beauty.

I saw this video and it reminded me of this thread. The boy in the video is very much enraptured by beauty.

I started writing a parody of your first few paragraphs but stopped as I felt it was less meaningful to continue. When you start saying things like "most horrid of personalities" I am less inclined to take your stance seriously as I see beauty as relative, I for one have had my experience of beauty shift plenty. Though saying that I'm sure there is always something that I currently define as horrid so... maybe I have no qualm with the statement after all...

You do make some other points that I agree with though, like to not resist what you find beautiful and that beauty is not "goodness" in all things.

The questions that you raise toward the end are interesting and I feel strongly about this particular one; "Does mutual physical attraction between 2 people mean they would make strong, healthy & happy children?"

And when I read this "When we gaze at eachother in amazement and worship of eachother's beauty, we see in that beauty incredible purity, magic, bliss, happiness or as Tolstoy named it "goodness"", I started to feel dizzy and euphoric as it reminded me of a girl I have recently met .

Here's the parody I started to write (I've changed only a very small amount):


We all experience it sooner or later:

Falling deeply and rapidly in love with someone to whom you're very strongly mentaly attracted. Someone whos mind you find particulairly beautifull.

Looking into their ideas, holding them, involving yourself with them is the ultimate blissfull experience.
No extatic experience I've ever had is better than that. The highest high.

Being attracted to someone's mental capacity is so incredibly powerfull an enchantment,
that even when that beautifull someone turns out to have even the most horrid of appearances,
we'll be tempted to switch off all reason and stay with them for the sake of maintaining that hopelessly addictive state of bliss that their minds charm seems to induce.
Happens to millions of people the world over all the time, yet few dare to admit it.



Maybe I could have carried on, but I'm sure you get the jest. I did it as a reaction against my first impression of your post and because I have recently found a mind that intrigues me. Does it make you reflect on what you have written in any new way? Maybe that physical beauty is not the only object of infatuation, because that's what I get when I compare them.

I didn't really mean to write so much...