I can't believe the degree of stupidity of the things i did two days ago. After work, there was a birthday party at the house of a girl i vaguely know from college days. It's a 5 minutes walk frommy home. I got there, drank some beers and liquor, met a drop dead beutiful girl, got somehow drunk, and then, at the end of night ( 1 am? ) i begun to talk about DMT to a guy and to the boyfriend of the girl doing the party. Of course they were thrilled to hear about that ( they never heard about DMT before) . Both of them had so -recreative- prior small experience with small amout of mushrooms, but that's all. So well, i end up going to my home to bring some DMT back... That's stupid, first because of the law issues. So ha well. The boyfriend of the girl smoked 3 large hits, came back and was all the way willing to try again. He said '' i was far away! out of my body WOAH! amazing! ''. The other guy was a 18 yrs old Emo Kid... He smoked tow large hits before staring blankly into space. HE came back OK but with a scared to death look in his eyes. HÉHÉ. I then smoked DMT and had an amazing breakthrough. Nothing much to say. It was coloured, vivid, really pleasant and i lost my body awareness completly. Then... the boyfriend guy talked me into doing some mushrooms. So i got to my home ( damn alcohol making me adventurus ) and came back with a scale and a LARGE amout of mushrooms. I mean, i wont tell how much, but enough to spend the rest of my days rotting in jail that's for sure. Think of a big, big bag. So we injested 3.5 grams each. And this mushroom is the most horse-shit potent kind you can find. To make things worse. We smoked DMT on the come up. That was the most intense thing i have ever done in my life. Never again. You are thinking '' ohhh 15 minutes and the mushrooms is already so strong... damn... that will be a hell of a ride '' and then you smoke dmt like a pig. From then on things got worse and worse. There was 100000 syncronicity about my life and the life of the boyfriend guy. I was MEANT to take these drugs at THAT time. It was by far the most intense trip ever. And i have done plenty! :S The waves kept coming and everytime i was sure i should ''let go'' and ''surrrender'' but GRRR. Some really HUMAN part of me told me not to do so. There was mantids and spider entitys coming from the dawn of creations, of time, and from the bottom of our collective identity. It was ugly. When the boyfriend guy started flipping because of all this ( telephatic communication between me, him, and insects from hell ), i took all the weight of his fear and badtrip on my shoulders. I was keeping the entitys at bay with all my being, and it was painfully hard. So hard that i had visions of jesus christ dying on the cross. I almost puked because of the resistance i was doing. What i was saying is '' why not surrender to the mantis, tomorow we'll be fine, and it's the only way foward. '' But i couldnt. It was to much. And the boyfriend guy couldt either. I remember him saying with a psychotic smile on his face : '' c'est la nuit ''. That means, '' it's nightime, darkness complete. '' Things was so much intense. We were facing ego death, not dissolution, death! Like dismembering! Smashed to the ground! There was insects ( real ones) noises all around. And i had the sense that all the entitys i had contacted in the past were in fact them. But then again... We layed on the grass to gaze at the sky because we were too mentaly gone to sit. And we had some visions/sense of UFOS coming from the stars. And they scanned us while we were lying on the ground. And they kind of let us show that if we fear insects, than we are not better than the insectes on the ground with us. And that we cant be a part of the galactic community because we have fears, and fear is really, really not a sign of evolution in a specie. Even with this, i couldnt surrender. It was too much! And then the cold started to hit me. The cold like... the temperature is really cold but at the same time it's there because of the experience. You know, the psychedelic frost. I needed warmth. I needed to go to my place. Really bad. So i left the guy alone. That was wrong. I sould have stayed. Poor guy!!!! This is so irresponsible. I manage to find my scale and DMT vial. ( though i dont know how, my visions was all 2 dimensional. i had to focus like CRAZY just to see the physical world a little ) I left, and while i left, it was a sign of my surrender to the insects being. In fact, i already made my choice. And the guy with me was shit scared. And told me '' dude, no, you stay here with me and us mankind, you are not them ect ''. I left anyway with a disgusting selfish feeling. I really left him behind with a tought of '' yeah yeah... that's it, go whine to your mother, i have a reservation at a vacation resort, bye bye. '' :S Then i walked to my house. I have no idea how i pulled this off. Remember this is only 5 minute walk. And i know this area since 20 years. And... i got lost. It was so twisted that all the houses seemed the same because i was seeing what i consider to be a house, not the houses themselves... hum.. And all the while, the boyfriend guy ( not there anymore) continued to telepaticly be there. The worst is that i was somehow rational. I realised the sillyness of the situation. I was batshit fucking insane. After what seemed to be an endless 4 hour walk. I got home, and layed on my bed. I got some revelation about the ''falseness'' of our reality. Pretty much like in the VALIS novel by Philip K dick. I cant explain it to you. I just cant do it. I had some revelation about my destiny and my indentity. But then again, it's too weird! I can bring it back here and speak about it!! The waves kept coming. I was tired of fighting the mantid/insect. I said like : '' ok that's it, kill me !!! Just do want you want so it will be over '' Each waves was going closer to my self anhilation. I was raped i tell you. The mantid turned out to be female and to be at the same time lots of separate entitys and one single entity. It felt like i knew this being since forever. She/it needed something from me. And i was like.. a project of these beings. All my life was related to them. And i was a product of their experiences. And i knew that in the past, i had some ( YUCK!! ) sexual intercourse with the mantid like female. There is no way to explain the terror i felt. I was more or less suddenly anhilated. I became the mantid. I was them. I was dismembered and understood the significance of the aztec ritual sacrifice. The mantid female entity/godess ate me alive. And i hate to say it but it was relief. It felt good. I was death incarnate, fully immerse in a trance like no way before. And as i became one with the mantid godess and got eaten alive, waves of ecstasy rushed into me. I'm sure heroin is not even that pleasant. I was relieved of all tension. I felt warmth rushing through my body. So.. after a few hour ( dont know how long ) i regain cousciousness of our dayly lives. I came back to our reality. And then it hit me. My room was a filthy mess, i was laying down on a pile of dirty cloths and i had a can of raid ( insect fighting aerosol) in my hands. I had been on a drinking frenzy, spent some time kissing a 17yr old girl, gave some DMT to an emo-kid, been crazy on mushrooms with a guy i didnt know at a party of a girl i knew only a little prior to this. Worse, i realised that i forgot the big ass mushroom bag at the party place before i left to my place in fear. Paranoya took hold over me. I got dressed, i was dehydrated beyond belief. My hair was a mess. It was 6-7 am in a middle class suburbia full of ''normal'' people. And i felt like an insect. I manage to go to the party place and find the mushroom bag in the backyard. I got back to my place, still shaken in fear. That's when the badtrip took some evil proportion i had never knew it could. Out of panic , i trashed all of my sutff. That's by far the worst part of the trip. But at the time, it felt like the right thing to do. Insane amount of mushroom gone, insane amount of dmt and root gone. It was trash day, so they were gone after 2 hours. Anyway, the boyfriend guy could have panicked, his girlfriend called an ambulance and then from this, police to my house and my ass in jail. It was the most intense trip of my life. But it was also the most stupid, irresponsible thing ever. I am not proud of myself at all. I never tought i could be so stupid. I usually take great care in secrecy, setting, tripsitter present, blablabla. Ha lala! C'est la vie!

What to say.. Ah yes.. Did you have some news from the boy ? He may become your best friend now

It's experiences like this one that taught me to plan my trips and do them in a good setting. (Actually I only trip in beautiful nature spots these days. Never at parties). No more impulsive going crazy stuff for me. It can go sooooo wrong But good to hear you came out of it ok

[quote:8e5d8c1501="Garulfo"]What to say.. Ah yes.. Did you have some news from the boy ? He may become your best friend now [/quote:8e5d8c1501] Seriously, that's what i initialy thought after the experience. But then an email showed up. His girlfriend, the host of the party, sent me a hate letter to tell me that i am the most horrible person on earth, and asking me what did i do to her boyfriend.... Ha well... I called her over the phone to at least tell her that it was mushrooms and DMT, nothing else, to llok it up on Wiki, and that her boyfriend would be fine after the next real night of sleep. She didnt let me finish and close the phone on me..

[quote:b7d0151031="DMTripper"]It's experiences like this one that taught me to plan my trips and do them in a good setting. (Actually I only trip in beautiful nature spots these days. Never at parties). No more impulsive going crazy stuff for me. It can go sooooo wrong But good to hear you came out of it ok [/quote:b7d0151031] I know, same here. I never did psychedelics at partys att all. I dont even smoke weed anymore. I dont want to blame the alcohol... But without it, i never would have done this, that's for sure. Still it's my fault. It's me who dranked not the bottle that made me do it.

Think of this experience as a lesson.Live and learn Freddy.It's too bad you trashed all that good DMT,rootbark and shrooms.I have to agree with you ,that was really stupid!!

[quote532f6d246]and asking me what did i do to her boyfriend[/quote532f6d246] Ha, you revealed him to himself, not a minor task ! Well, seriously, you should speak with him to explain him a bit better what he experienced. A bad mushroom trip can stuck anyone in a very low mood state. Hopefully you guys are young and your serotonine levels will revover quickly...

awesome story. "And that we cant be a part of the galactic community because we have fears, and fear is really, really not a sign of evolution in a specie. " was my favorite part. something to think about. c'est la nuit - it's nightime, darkness complete ever read "Journey to the end of the night" by l.f. celine? seems like an appropriate title for this trip =) im glad you made the journey and came out intact. peace brotha.

[quote:134d70925f="Implants"]awesome story. "And that we cant be a part of the galactic community because we have fears, and fear is really, really not a sign of evolution in a specie. " was my favorite part. something to think about. c'est la nuit - it's nightime, darkness complete ever read "Journey to the end of the night" by l.f. celine? seems like an appropriate title for this trip =) im glad you made the journey and came out intact. peace brotha.[/quote:134d70925f] i'll look out for the book on amazon. Yes the fear part is pretty interesting. But maybe it wasa ruse from the insectoid creatures...

Ah, it could have been. next time i do mushrooms (obviously somewhere where its legal) i'll have to ask the mushroom about it. a 5 gram trip is in order sometime soon. the book is good, its not psychedelic literature by any means though. its basically his account of his life mixed with a good deal of "literary license" - lies - mixed in. i have a copy of the english version, but if you speak french obviously go for that.

I am questionning my future endeavor with psychedelic drugs. I mean, why take them if it is to have some revalations so weird that you cant bring them back here? Back in the day in south america, i dont know, i probably would have taken the healer/priest/shaman route. So at least it ( my psychedelics experiences ) would have been of a certain utility for some people. But here and now, in our occidental modern way way of life, nobody cares. In my corner of the world, even catholic religion is no more. There are no priests anymore, no nothing. So, i guess i<m posting this to ask you all : why take psychedelics if it is to have scary revelation that we cant relate to our lives time and time again. There is no community support. What it gives you? What do you think we cant ultimatly learn from all this that is at least of some utility for our mortal lives? Oh yeah, and what do you make out of all those entitys with an agenda of their own? What are you ideas about it/them? Can you really say ''no'' to them? Why the insects/reptile thing is so prevalent? What about the experiments/probing? Is there any way to control this? Some absurd toughts : '' maybe i need some more mushrooms to understand it all again, be somehow scared, cant really explain it to anyone, forget half of it and be at the same place that i am right now afterward. '' '' I'll take more mushrooms to have contact with some evil entitys that without the pharmacologic aid i dont clearly see so i will learn how to control it a little to push them out of my mind. ( remember that in the first place, if you dont indulge in psylocibin, you dont really meet them. ) '' See, i have conflicting feelings, one part of me is saying '' this is it, i'm done, i cant go further ''. But then again, i feel that if i dont do it, nobody ( or almost nobody ) will, and that i clearly need to write a paper about these experiments. But how do you develop/explain those so old and so new ideas on paper? There is a whole lots of literature already there that dont go further than simple descriptions of cerebral activity ( 4-h0-dmt :arrow: serotonin receptor = you are tripping ) ,some redundant partial historical perspective, some trips reports and some out of this world speculations. Guys like Stanislav Groof have headed in the direction i would probably go myself, but i dont see how i can add something relevant to this corpus. With all the laws against psychedelics, its even harder. humm.....

i know how you feel my man, the only psychedelic community that im (barlely) a part of is via the internet, through avatars, fake names, etc. i'm not rich by any means, but i live in the 3rd richest county in america. everyone buys into the culture we live in, mindlessly working at jobs they dont like for shit they think they want. its how were raised, private schools with the emphasis on ivy league colleges to become a doctor/lawyer or banker. and virtually everyone i know turned out to become almost completely apathetic, either dropped or failed out of college, living at home relying on parents that make lots of money. i think it has to be the reaction that comes from not knowing what to do, but knowing the direction youre going in is going to drive you crazy. but because were all raised with some type of inflated ego - a problem that comes from being raised around all this money and pretensiousness we hold on to them more. i have a lot of friends, but only 2 are interested in really doing psychedelics for consciousness expansion, insight, spirituality etc type reasons. but its a good question, what is the point in doing them when what happens is that you come back from your journey a new person, and everyone else is the exact same? well, thats why im going to do more psychedelics, to find out, i guess. i stopped myself for about 4 years now, gave them up because it was just depressing to feel so out of place in a world youre absolutely disconnected from. its mainly been the influence of terence mckenna that has convinced me i need to trip more, and harder, to really find things out. im going to up my mushroom trips from the standard eighth to 5 grams or more and try the whole "dark room, silence, alone" and see what i can get out of it. i cant think of a reason to tell you to keep doing psychedelics, but i can think of a million reasons to tell you to not do them and try your best to assimilate into the world as we know it now. the reason for me is simple, when i gave up psychedelics, i gave up creativity and hope. i dont care if we, the small minority of people that do our best to see reality for what it is lose the fight for acceptance, tolerance, respect, legality and so on, but its a frighteningly cowardly thing to give up, lay down, and take it in the ass. so to speak. once youve broken through to the other side you cant effectively fake it on the side most people are on. you can try, but you will wind up depressed, angry, apathetic, and probably drunk a lot. kris.

Implants, so so so true. I thinkg i'll switch accountancy for major religious studies/minor philosophy or something like that. And the legality is not THAT bad. Huh, i'm not selling drugs, i will never again ahve too much in my possession at any given time. And i have a whole librairy of books acknoledging the fact that i'm doing this for a spiritual purpose. I'm not in the U.S. so my guess is that, if some almost impossible situation arise where i am standing in front of a judge... well i have pretty strong arguments to defend myself. People indulging in drugs are treated REALLy fairly by our law system here. Dealers are the ones getting the harsh consequences. People make a big thing about the pot laws in canada. But honestly, it didnt changed anythin. What i mean is that before the laws, well... no cops were going to arest you for pot... never. Not for small personal amount of it. Even at the time they did not cared. Not at all. It's some kind of unofficial widespread social tolerance. And yeah, the dark room thing is by far the best way to do things. I like Mckenna alot, i find his idea not always reasonable but he never meant to be reasonable anyway. I heard an interview of him where he tells that his purpose is to raise the issue about psychedelics, to make know to the most people possible about them. Not to make some difinitive answers and stuff. I certainly would have liked to met him.

update- Hugh, Almost a week after the hellride and i am almost 100% fine. I didnt had an afterglow, i mean, definitivly some after effects, but not glowly at all . My sleep paterns are back to normal. I wonder how the shamans, like Maria Sabina and all, manage to do their things. I mean, taking care of peoples tripping, and then from what i understand.... cut a deal with the entities. In the sense that you ask the beings something along the line of : '' ok, if you do some experiments on us, can you please fix this and that at the same time ? ''

Im thinking about switching my major as well, im taking some time off until i decide but right now i have about 3 years done with a psychology major, minor in business. Unfortunately i do live in the US though and could easily wind up in front of a judge, but i think the chances are pretty slim. Glad youre sleeping patterns are back to normal, but yeah, no idea how the shamans do it. As soon as im done tripping, doing it again seems like the last thing on my mind. I did mushrooms once for about 4 days, but at the end of it i was feeling very thin. not physically, just mentally thin. its a weird feeling, almost like your soul is evaporating. plus you start building a tolerance to the psylosibin so youre taking a lot of mushrooms on that 3rd/4th day to really trip. maybe they just get used to it after years and years. i dont know, i dont think thats the way to use psychedelics though, personally. or maybe it is for some people - or maybe i was on the right track, maybe thats the point, to toally kill your sense of self, permanently. maybe it helps seeing other people and their ailments better, their psyche better.

[quote:52b0b82a81="Implants"] Glad youre sleeping patterns are back to normal, but yeah, no idea how the shamans do it. As soon as im done tripping, doing it again seems like the last thing on my mind. I did mushrooms once for about 4 days, but at the end of it i was feeling very thin. not physically, just mentally thin. its a weird feeling, almost like your soul is evaporating. plus you start building a tolerance to the psylosibin so youre taking a lot of mushrooms on that 3rd/4th day to really trip. maybe they just get used to it after years and years. i dont know, i dont think thats the way to use psychedelics though, personally. or maybe it is for some people - or maybe i was on the right track, maybe thats the point, to toally kill your sense of self, permanently. maybe it helps seeing other people and their ailments better, their psyche better.[/quote:52b0b82a81] Yes, ever read about ayahuasca shamanic training? It seems crazy. They do ayahuasca almost everyday for extended periods of time. They really have balls of steel! Maybe it's less challenging if the proper social support system is in place. In some rural areas, far from noises of the town, with almost nothing to worry about ect. I dont know

yeah ive read about that. they will basically be alone for 3/4 months eating little other than ayuascha. i couldnt imagine doing that, but most people in their societies cant imagine it either, thats why so few become shamans. it takes a very unique individual to be able to handle that type of experience for as long as they do. i mean, ive had bad trips that were 8 hours long that seemed FOREVER. what they do, is unbelievable.

[quote:3aaea8e6f1]I got there, drank some beers and liquor, met a drop dead beutiful girl, got somehow drunk, and then, I could tell a thousand storys that began with that satement , I think most of us males proubably could. If you were not drunk would the evening been different? It sounds like you have thought a lot abount what happened that night and have come to some of your own conclusions and isnt that whats its all abount anyway? I sure it was scary as hell you survived with out being arrested lost for 4 hours 5 min away from home. Live and learn dont be to hard on yourself. I guess I will say Hello to all I have been lurking reading the board for the last six months or so. I regestired before but could not log on for some reason so I got around to regestering again today. This board has good mature topics and many knowledgeable members. Hello to All [/quote:3aaea8e6f1]

Hey magik, from one new poster to another, welcome. Your post confused me though because i thought the whole thing was a quote, but then i realized you must have hit the quote option on the OP, and then typed your message inside, instead of outside the quote.

[quote:6cd36d1f31]I could tell a thousand storys that began with that satement , I think most of us males proubably could. If you were not drunk would the evening been different? It sounds like you have thought a lot abount what happened that night and have come to some of your own conclusions and isnt that whats its all abount anyway? I sure it was scary as hell you survived with out being arrested lost for 4 hours 5 min away from home. Live and learn dont be to hard on yourself. [/quote:6cd36d1f31] Seriously, yes, if i wouldnt have drunked, i woulndt have talked publicly and openly about DMT and all. Mainly because of the law issues i guess. But even if i talk about it, doing that much psychedelics with strangers and all... hum.. The thig i should have done is to talk about it, makea appointment with the people interrested and have an expenrience in a more responsible setting. With sober people present that knows about psychedelics ect.